How To Weed Out The Phonies In Your Life

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Real friends are hard to find, and the fake ones are plentiful.

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The last thing you want is to waste your precious time and energy by investing it in people who have no interest in building a genuine connection with you. That’s why it’s so important to recognise the sign that someone in your life is completely inauthentic and not there for the right reasons. If you notice them doing these things regularly, it may be time to cut them loose for your own protection. You deserve people who are willing to put in just as much as you are!

1. They consistently fail to follow through on their promises.

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Fake people tend to make plenty of grand promises, but rarely deliver on them. They enthusiastically agree to plans or commitments, only to back out at the last minute or forget entirely. This pattern of behaviour shows a lack of respect for your time and feelings.

2. Their actions don’t align with their words.

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Pay attention to the disconnect between what they say and what they do. They might profess to hold certain values or beliefs, but their actions tell an entirely different story. Such blatant inconsistency is a clear sign that they may not be genuine in their interactions with you.

3. They’re only around when they need something from you.

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Inauthentic people tend to appear in your life when they need help or have something to gain. They suddenly become attentive and friendly when they need a favour, but are nowhere to be found when you need support. The one-sided dynamic they create reveals their true motivations.

4. They constantly want your validation and attention.

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These people often have an insatiable need for approval and recognition. As a result, they dominate conversations, constantly steer conversations towards themselves, or fish for compliments. They do this because they lack genuine self-confidence and have a desperate need for external validation, but that doesn’t make their behaviour okay.

5. They gossip about anyone and everyone non-stop.

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Be wary of people who constantly talk badly about other people behind their backs. Fake people often use gossip to make themselves feel superior or to manipulate social dynamics. This behaviour is completely toxic, and it indicates a lack of integrity and respect for other people’s privacy. Plus, if they’ll talk about other people with you, they’ll talk about you with other people.

6. They’re quick to take credit but slow to accept responsibility.

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They’re eager to claim recognition for their so-called successes, even when they’ve played a minor role. However, on the flip side, they’re quick to deflect blame or make excuses when things go wrong. They do this because they lack accountability and honesty, and that’s not the type of person you want in your life.

7. Their behaviour is inconsistent depending on who’s around.

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Fake people tend to act differently depending on their audience. They might be charming and agreeable in one setting, but rude and dismissive in another. This chameleon-like behaviour points to a lack of genuine character and a tendency to manipulate the way people see them.

8. They can never seem to maintain eye contact during conversations.

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While not always a definitive sign, not being able to look someone in the eye and maintain eye contact can be a sign of dishonesty or discomfort with genuine connection. Inauthentic people might look down or away when speaking, particularly when talking about personal matters or making commitments.

9. They’re overly concerned with material possessions and status.

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People like this usually place excessive importance on outward appearances and social standing. That means they tend to name-drop, show off expensive items, or judge other people based on superficial criteria. Their focus on external validation reveals a lack of authentic self-worth, and that’s a real shame (but ultimately not your problem).

10. They’re unwilling to be vulnerable or admit when they’ve messed up.

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Authentic relationships require vulnerability and honesty, but these people tend to struggle to admit their flaws or mistakes because they’d rather maintain a facade of perfection. Their reluctance to show their true selves keeps them from enjoying genuine connection and growth.

11. They use flattery excessively without substance.

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While compliments can be genuine, these people often use excessive flattery as a tool for manipulation. They shower you with praise that feels hollow or insincere, especially when they want something from you. They do this because they’re all about achieving their goals, rather than expressing true appreciation.

12. They avoid deep or meaningful conversations.

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Inauthentic people often shy away from substantive discussions about emotions, personal growth, or challenging topics. They prefer to keep interactions surface-level, avoiding any conversation that might reveal their true thoughts or feelings. Avoiding these conversations, of course, means you can never really get to know them or connect with them. What’s even the point?

13. They’re quick to judge other people, but can’t handle criticism themselves.

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Fake people may be harsh critics of other people, but they often react defensively to any form of criticism directed at them. Such a ridiculous double standard reveals their insecurity and lack of self-awareness. It also shows an unwillingness to grow or consider different perspectives.

14. They make you feel drained after spending time with them.

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Pay attention to how you feel after interacting with someone. Inauthentic people often leave you feeling emotionally exhausted or unsettled. This energy drain is a result of the effort required to navigate their inconsistent behaviour and hidden agendas. Trust your instincts if someone consistently leaves you feeling depleted.