Ever get that nagging feeling that something’s not quite right in your relationship?
Like maybe your partner isn’t as invested as you are, or that they’re only around for certain benefits? It’s not a fun feeling, and it can be hard to tell if it’s just your imagination or if you’re actually being used. However, if you notice any of these things happening with your partner, things are hardly fair.
1. The relationship feels one-sided.
Do you feel like you’re always the one putting in effort, initiating conversations, or planning dates? Does your partner seem to only reach out when they need something or want your attention? If you’re constantly feeling like you’re the only one invested in the relationship, it’s a red flag that you might be being used.
2. They only show affection or interest when they want something.
Does your partner suddenly become sweet and attentive when they need a favour, a ride, or some extra cash? But then they disappear or become distant once their needs are met? This inconsistent behaviour is a sign that they’re not genuinely interested in you as a person, but rather in what you can do for them.
3. They consistently take advantage of your generosity.
Whether it’s always borrowing money without paying it back, expecting you to cover the bill on dates, or constantly asking for favours, a partner who takes advantage of your kindness is likely using you. Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity, not exploitation.
4. They avoid making future plans with you.
Does your partner dodge questions about future plans or seem hesitant to commit to anything beyond the immediate moment? This could be a sign that they’re not interested in a long-term relationship with you, or that they’re keeping their options open. If they’re only focused on the present and not investing in the future of your relationship, it’s a sign that you might be a placeholder for them.
5. They’re emotionally unavailable or distant.
If your partner rarely opens up emotionally, avoids deep conversations, or seems disinterested in your feelings, it’s a sign that they’re not truly invested in the relationship. Emotional intimacy is a crucial part of any healthy connection, and if it’s missing, you’re likely being used for something apart from a genuine emotional bond.
6. They make you feel guilty or responsible for their problems.
Does your partner constantly complain about their problems, blaming you for their unhappiness or expecting you to fix their issues? This is a manipulative tactic used to shift responsibility and make you feel obligated to take care of them. You’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness but your own, and a partner who makes you feel otherwise is using you as an emotional crutch.
7. They belittle your achievements or dreams.
A supportive partner will celebrate your accomplishments and encourage your dreams. If your partner constantly belittles your achievements, dismisses your goals, or makes you feel like your aspirations are insignificant, it’s a sign that they’re not truly invested in your happiness or success. They might even be threatened by your potential, which is a toxic trait in any relationship.
8. They put what they want and need before you every single time.
Does your partner always seem to put their needs and desires first, disregarding your feelings or preferences? Do they expect you to adapt to their schedule, interests, or lifestyle without any compromise? This self-centred behaviour is a clear sign that they’re using you to fulfil their own needs, rather than building a mutually fulfilling relationship.
9. They disappear when you need their support.
A healthy partner will be there for you through thick and thin, offering support and comfort during challenging times. If your partner is nowhere to be found when you’re going through a tough time, dealing with a loss, or simply need a shoulder to lean on, it’s a sign that they’re not truly invested in your well-being.
10. You constantly feel anxious or insecure in the relationship.
A loving relationship should make you feel safe, secure, and loved. If you’re constantly feeling anxious, insecure, or walking on eggshells around your partner, it’s a red flag. This could be due to their unpredictable behaviour, lack of emotional support, or disregard for your feelings. Trust your gut and prioritise your mental and emotional well-being.
11. They don’t make time for you or your interests.
A healthy relationship involves a balance of shared interests and individual pursuits. If your partner consistently prioritises their own hobbies, friends, or activities without making time for you or showing interest in your passions, it’s a sign that they’re not truly invested in building a life together.
12. They use your vulnerabilities against you.
A loving partner will be sensitive to your insecurities and support you in overcoming them. If your partner uses your vulnerabilities as ammunition to hurt you, manipulate you, or control you, it’s a sign of emotional abuse. They should be your safe haven, not your source of pain.
13. They don’t respect your opinions or ideas.
A healthy relationship values open communication and mutual respect. If your partner dismisses your opinions, belittles your ideas, or makes you feel like your thoughts don’t matter, it’s a sign that they don’t see you as an equal.
14. They blame you for their mistakes or shortcomings.
A mature and responsible partner will own up to their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. If your partner constantly blames you for their failures, shortcomings, or bad decisions, it’s a sign of immaturity and a lack of accountability.
15. You feel like you’re constantly giving more than you’re receiving.
Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity, with both partners giving and receiving love, support, and effort. If you feel like you’re constantly pouring your energy into the relationship without getting much in return, it’s time to reassess whether it’s truly fulfilling your needs and serving your best interests.
