If you like someone, you should absolutely make it clear — people aren’t mind readers, after all.
However, the last thing you want to do is come on too strong and end up looking desperate (because you’re definitely not). It’s great to be excited about someone who seems great, but you’ll need to take a measured approach to avoid scaring them off or looking like a bit of a weirdo. Here’s how to make it clear that you’re interested, but that you’re also not stressing about it.
1. Take your time responding to messages.
While it’s tempting to reply instantly to every message, giving yourself a bit of breathing room can help. You don’t need to wait hours (and you definitely shouldn’t — no game playing here!), but taking a few minutes shows you have your own life and aren’t glued to your phone waiting for them.
2. Maintain your own hobbies and interests.
Keeping up with your own passions and friendships is non-negotiable. It shows you’re a well-rounded person with your own life, not someone who’s ready to drop everything for a potential partner. Plus, it gives you interesting things to talk about when you do spend time together.
3. Avoid double texting.
Sending multiple messages before getting a response can come across as pushy. If you’ve sent a message and haven’t heard back, resist the urge to follow up. Give them time to respond naturally — they’ll get to it when they get to it.
4. Ask thoughtful questions, but not intrusive ones.
Showing genuine interest in their life and opinions is a great way to connect. Ask about their interests, experiences, and thoughts. Just be sure to keep the conversation balanced and not turn it into an interrogation. No one wants to feel like they’re in a job interview when they’re on a date.
5. Don’t overshare too soon.
While openness is important, sharing your deepest secrets or most intense feelings too early can be overwhelming. Build trust gradually by sharing bits of yourself over time, matching the level of intimacy they’re comfortable with. If it’s meant to be, you’ll have plenty of time to share more with them.
6. Make plans in advance.
Instead of always trying to make last-minute plans, suggest get-togethers in advance. This shows you value their time and are interested in more than just a casual hang-out when it’s convenient. It also lets them know that you’re willing to carve out time in your schedule for them, which is nice.
7. Give them space.
Constantly being in their space or trying to see them every day can feel suffocating. Respect their need for alone time or time with other friends. It shows you’re secure and not overly needy. You should have your own life to fill up your time, anyway!
8. Compliment sincerely but sparingly.
Genuine compliments can make someone feel appreciated, but overdoing it can seem insincere or desperate. Keep your praise honest and occasional for maximum impact. Also, make sure the compliments you do give are genuine and more specific than vague or impersonal.
9. Stay true to your opinions.
It’s tempting to agree with everything they say to make them like you, but having your own thoughts and opinions is attractive. Respectful disagreements can lead to interesting conversations and show you’re confident in yourself. Plus, nothing’s hotter than someone who knows who they are and isn’t ashamed to show it.
10. Limit social media interaction.
Liking or commenting on every single social media post can come across as stalker-ish. Engage occasionally, but don’t make it your full-time job to monitor their online presence. You shouldn’t be commenting on every selfie they post or every meme they share.
11. Be honest about your feelings without pressure.
Being upfront about your interest is good, but avoid putting pressure on them to reciprocate. Express yourself clearly, then give them space to process and respond in their own time. If they like you, they’ll make it clear. If they don’t, you can move on to someone who does feel the same.
12. Keep a positive attitude.
Nobody wants to be around someone who’s always complaining or negative. Focus on the bright side of things and avoid constant venting or self-pity. Positivity is attractive and shows emotional maturity. Of course, you’ll need to stop short of toxic positivity — if you fake it, they’ll be able to tell.
13. Respect their boundaries.
If they say they’re busy or need some alone time, take it at face value. Pushing against their boundaries or trying to guilt them into spending time with you will only push them away. Start as you mean to go on!
14. Don’t drop everything for them.
While it’s nice to be accommodating, constantly rearranging your schedule or cancelling plans with other people to see them can seem desperate. It’s okay to be busy sometimes or have prior commitments. If you’re busy, let them know. If they want to see you, they’ll take a rain check.
15. Focus on building a genuine connection.
Instead of trying to impress them or win them over, focus on getting to know them as a person. Building a real connection based on shared interests and values is more meaningful than grand gestures or constant attention-seeking.
