If there’s one thing narcissists are good at, it’s destroying people’s lives.
However, you don’t have to be their victim. In fact, there are plenty of things you can do right now to turn the tables on people like this and give them a taste of their own medicine while taking back control. Here’s how to make a narcissist miserable and get out from under their thumb.
1. Develop a thicker skin and stop taking things personally.
Narcissists thrive on attention, positive or negative. They often resort to insults, put-downs, or passive-aggressive comments to get a reaction. The moment you stop taking their bait, they’ll start losing their power over you. So next time they try to push your buttons, just shrug it off. Show them that their words no longer have any effect on you.
2. Set firm boundaries and stick to them.
Narcissists are notorious for pushing boundaries and testing limits. They might try to manipulate you into doing things you’re not comfortable with or disregard your needs altogether. That’s why it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and communicate them assertively. Let them know what you will and won’t tolerate. And most importantly, be prepared to enforce those boundaries consistently.
3. Stop trying to please them.
Narcissists are rarely satisfied, no matter how hard you try to cater to their whims. They’ll always find something to criticise or complain about. So instead of bending over backwards to make them happy, focus on your own needs and desires. Do things that bring you joy and fulfilment Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration.
4. Don’t feed their ego.
Narcissists crave admiration and validation. They love to be the centre of attention and bask in compliments. By withholding praise and recognition, you can deflate their ego and make them feel insecure. Don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they’ve impressed you or won you over. Instead, remain indifferent and unimpressed.
5. Challenge their narrative.
Narcissists often create a distorted reality where they’re always the victim or the hero. They might exaggerate their accomplishments, blame other people for their failures, or twist the truth to suit their needs. By questioning their version of events and presenting alternative perspectives, you can chip away at their carefully constructed facade. Don’t be afraid to call them out on their lies and inconsistencies.
6. Focus on your own happiness and well-being.
Narcissists can drain your energy and leave you feeling emotionally depleted. Don’t let them rob you of your joy and vitality. Make time for activities that bring you happiness, whether it’s spending time with loved ones, pursuing your hobbies, or simply relaxing and recharging. Prioritise your own mental and emotional well-being.
7. Don’t give in to their guilt trips.
Narcissists are experts at manipulating emotions, especially guilt. They might try to make you feel responsible for their unhappiness or blame you for their shortcomings. Don’t fall for their tactics. Remember, you’re not responsible for their feelings or actions. You’re not obligated to fix their problems or make them feel better. Don’t let them guilt you into doing things you don’t want to do.
8. Don’t argue or try to reason with them.
Narcissists are rarely interested in having a rational discussion. They’re more concerned with winning arguments and proving their superiority. Trying to reason with them is often a futile exercise. They’ll twist your words, deflect blame, and resort to personal attacks. It’s best to avoid getting drawn into their battles. Simply state your position calmly and firmly, and then disengage.
9. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
Spending time with people who uplift and encourage you can be a powerful antidote to the negativity of a narcissist. Spend time with friends, family members, or colleagues who genuinely care about you and have your best interests at heart. Their support can help you stay strong and resilient in the face of narcissistic manipulation.
10. Don’t try to earn their approval or validation.
Narcissists love to withhold approval and make you feel like you’re constantly falling short. They might criticise your appearance, your choices, or your accomplishments. Don’t let their opinions define your self-worth. Look for validation from within yourself and from people who truly value you. Remember, you don’t need their approval to be happy and successful.
11. Limit your contact or go no contact.
If dealing with a narcissist is causing you significant distress, consider limiting your contact with them. Set clear boundaries on how often you interact and what topics you’re willing to discuss. If possible, distance yourself physically and emotionally. In extreme cases, going no contact might be the best option for your well-being.
12. Maintain your sense of humour.
Narcissists often take themselves very seriously. They can be quite pompous and self-important. By injecting a bit of humour into the situation, you can disarm them and take away some of their power. Don’t be afraid to laugh at their absurdity or make light of their grandiose claims. A well-timed joke can ddefusetension and remind you that you’re not taking them too seriously.
13. Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
Narcissists can make you doubt yourself and your judgment. They might convince you that you’re the one at fault or that you deserve their mistreatment. Don’t fall into the trap of self-blame. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes or shortcomings. Remember, you’re only human. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from your experiences and move forward.
14. Talk to a counsellor or therapist.
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and psychologically damaging. If you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to get professional help. A therapist can provide you with support, guidance, and coping mechanisms to deal with the challenges of narcissistic abuse.
15. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small.
Every step you take towards reclaiming your power and protecting yourself from narcissistic manipulation is a victory worth celebrating. Acknowledge your progress and give yourself credit for your resilience. Remember, you’re stronger than you think. You have the power to overcome this challenge and create a happier, healthier life for yourself.
