There’s nothing more exhausting than trying to control something that just won’t budge.
Whether it’s the behaviour of other people, unexpected life changes, or even just the way a situation plays out, sometimes you have to face the hard truth: some things are simply outside your hands. However, that doesn’t mean you’re powerless. Coping doesn’t mean giving up; it’s about changing how you carry it. Here’s how to navigate the stuff you can’t control right now without letting it steal all your energy and peace.
1. Remind yourself what is in your control.
When life feels chaotic, it’s easy to forget that there are still parts you can influence, like how you respond, how you care for yourself, and what you focus on. Taking back even a little bit of agency can change how heavy things feel. Small choices like what you do today, how you speak to yourself, or who you let into your emotional space still belong to you. That reminder can be incredibly grounding when everything else feels slippery.
2. Practise letting feelings move through you, not run the show.
You’re allowed to feel upset, scared, frustrated, all of it. Fighting your emotions just adds another layer of tension you don’t need. Letting yourself actually feel them, without getting stuck in them, is a huge step toward coping better. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now,” and letting it be true for a minute without judging yourself or forcing it to go away instantly.
3. Stay in the day you’re in.
When you can’t control something, your brain loves to leap ahead — worst-case scenarios, endless “what ifs,” complete mental marathons into the future, but none of that helps you cope better today. Bringing yourself back to just this day, this moment, shrinks the overwhelm. You don’t have to figure out forever. You just have to figure out today, and that’s a much lighter load to carry.
4. Make your world a little smaller, just for now.
Big problems feel less suffocating when you focus on smaller, tangible things, like making a good meal, texting a friend, getting outside for five minutes. Shrinking your world doesn’t mean giving up; it means giving your mind a break from carrying the uncarryable. Sometimes coping isn’t about solving anything huge; it’s about creating tiny, doable moments of peace inside the chaos until you can breathe a little easier.
5. Give yourself permission to not have all the answers.
We live in a culture that celebrates certainty, but sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit, “I don’t know yet.” You’re allowed to be in the messy middle without forcing clarity before it’s ready to come. Letting yourself live in the unknown with a little more softness takes the pressure off needing to control something that simply can’t be controlled right now.
6. Limit how much you rehash the same problem.
Talking things through can be helpful, but endless replaying, overthinking, and dissecting usually just keeps you stuck. There’s a difference between processing and spiralling, and sometimes you have to consciously hit pause. Setting limits like giving yourself a set time to vent, or writing things down and then putting the journal away can help your mind shift gears instead of getting trapped in the same exhausting loops.
7. Move your body to move your mind.
When your thoughts are racing, getting into your body is one of the fastest ways to interrupt the spiral. Movement doesn’t have to be intense to be powerful. Even stretching, walking, or dancing around your kitchen counts. Physical movement reminds your brain that you’re not actually stuck, even when everything feels mentally heavy. It creates tiny changes that ripple out in bigger ways emotionally.
8. Protect your energy like it’s a survival tool.
Not every conversation, article, or social media update deserves your full emotional investment. Being choosy about where you put your focus isn’t selfish, it’s smart coping. You don’t have to carry the weight of the entire world just because you care deeply. Protecting your energy gives you enough left over to actually survive and show up where you’re needed most.
9. Find an anchor ritual you can repeat.
When life feels unsteady, rituals help ground you. It could be making tea a certain way every morning, a five-minute breathing practice, lighting a candle and sitting quietly for a few minutes—anything that reminds you you’re still here, still steady inside yourself. Anchor rituals don’t fix the uncontrollable stuff, but they give you small islands of calm to land on when everything else feels like open sea.
10. Lean on safe people (and be specific).
Support isn’t just “having people”; it’s letting yourself actually lean into them. Sometimes it helps to be clear: “I don’t need advice, I just need someone to listen,” or “Can we just hang out and talk about anything else for a bit?” Asking for the kind of support you need takes bravery, but it’s worth it. You don’t have to cope completely alone, even if you’re carrying something that can’t be easily fixed.
11. Let tiny wins matter more than usual.
On days when everything feels heavy, celebrating small victories like making your bed, answering one difficult email, or getting outside for 10 minutes keeps you anchored in forward motion. Success doesn’t have to be huge to be real. Every tiny win is proof that you’re still choosing to show up for your life, even when you’re carrying something hard.
12. Tell yourself: “This is hard, and I’m doing the best I can.”
Because sometimes, that’s the most honest, powerful thing you can say. It honours the struggle without pretending it’s easy, and it gives you credit for surviving something you didn’t choose and can’t control. Self-compassion isn’t weakness; it’s a vital part of resilience. Reminding yourself that effort matters as much as outcomes can help you keep walking forward even when the path feels uncertain.
