Some men are incredibly good at making women uncomfortable without even realising it.
Sometimes it’s the things they do; other times it’s the things they say. Often it’s a combination of both, along with an air of arrogance or straight-up weirdness that makes women cringe at the mere sight of them. If you don’t want to be one of these men, here are some pretty easy pointers to follow. (Please, we’re begging you!)
1. Don’t mansplain things to women.
Ever caught yourself explaining something to a woman that she already knows or might even be an expert in? That’s mansplaining, and it’s a guaranteed way to make women cringe. Instead, ask questions and listen to what she has to say. You might learn something new yourself.
2. Keep your hands to yourself.
Unwanted touching is never okay, and yes, this includes seemingly innocent gestures like putting your hand on a woman’s back or touching her arm while talking. Unless you’ve been explicitly invited to do so, maintain a respectful distance. Personal space is important, and respecting it shows you understand boundaries.
3. Stop commenting on women’s appearances uninvited.
While you might think you’re paying a compliment, unsolicited comments about a woman’s appearance can make her feel uncomfortable. This is especially true in professional settings, but it really does apply across the board. Focus on her skills, ideas, and accomplishments instead. No one cares if you think she’s “smokin’ hot” or “could stand to lose a few pounds.” Who asked you?
4. Don’t interrupt or talk over women.
It’s rude to interrupt anyone, but studies show women are more likely to be cut off mid-sentence than men. Make a conscious effort to let women finish their thoughts. If you realise you’ve interrupted, apologise and ask her to continue. It’s the least you can do to show a bit of respect and courtesy.
5. Don’t use names or diminutives.
Calling a woman ‘love’, ‘sweetheart’, or ‘darling’ might seem friendly to you, but it can come across as patronising or even creepy. This is especially true if you don’t know her well or if you’re at work. Stick to her name or an appropriate title. It’s really not that hard.
6. Don’t stare or ogle.
Prolonged eye contact or looking at parts of a woman’s body other than her face is uncomfortable and disrespectful. It makes women feel like objects rather than people. Keep your gaze at eye level during conversations, and be mindful of where your eyes wander when you’re not directly interacting. (And no, I don’t care if she’s wearing a top that just so happens to show a bit of cleavage — that’s not an invitation.)
7. Avoid making sexist jokes or comments.
Even if you think it’s harmless banter, sexist humour perpetuates harmful stereotypes and can make women feel belittled or unwelcome. This includes ‘jokes’ about women drivers, comments about PMT, or generalisations about women’s abilities or interests. If you wouldn’t say it about your mum or sister, don’t say it at all.
8. Don’t assume women need your help with technology or physical tasks.
Automatically offering to help a woman with her laptop or carry something heavy implies you think she’s incapable. While it’s nice to offer help to anyone who seems to need it, don’t single out women for assistance based on gender stereotypes. If she needs help, she’ll ask.
9. Stop using gendered language in professional settings.
Terms like ‘guys’ when addressing a mixed group or assuming certain roles are filled by men (e.g., saying ‘businessmen’ instead of ‘business people’) can make women feel excluded, though not all women feel this way. For instance, it doesn’t personally bother me, but I know other women who really don’t like it. Be mindful of your language and aim for gender-neutral terms that include everyone.
10. Don’t dismiss or trivialise women’s concerns.
When a woman expresses worry about walking alone at night or discomfort with certain situations, take her seriously. Saying things like “You’re overreacting” or “Not all men are like that” dismisses her lived experiences. Listen, empathise, and ask how you can help or support her.
11. Don’t make assumptions about a woman’s relationship status or family plans.
Questions about whether a woman is single, married, or planning to have children are personal and can be intrusive. This line of questioning can also lead to uncomfortable situations if the woman feels pressured to explain her choices. Let her volunteer this information if and when she chooses. No one asks men these things, certainly not as a first line of conversation — why?!
12. Don’t speak for women or claim to know what they want.
Phrases like “Women always…” or “Women never…” are generalisations that ignore the diversity of women’s experiences and preferences. Avoid speaking on behalf of all women or assuming you know what’s best for them. Instead, listen to what individual women have to say about their own needs and desires.
13. Stop using infantilising language.
Terms like ‘girl’ when referring to adult women or describing women’s anger as a ‘tantrum’ are belittling. This kind of language implies women are childish or less mature than men. Use age-appropriate terms and take women’s emotions seriously, just as you would for men.
14. Don’t make assumptions about a woman’s interests or abilities based on gender.
Assuming a woman won’t be interested in sports or that she’ll naturally be good with children because of her gender is stereotyping. Treat each woman as an individual with her own unique set of interests, skills, and preferences. Ask about her hobbies and passions rather than making assumptions.
15. Avoid dominating conversations or manspreading in shared spaces.
Source: Unsplash Taking up more than your fair share of space, whether it’s in conversation or physically, can be intimidating and frustrating for women. Be aware of how much you’re talking in group settings, and make sure you’re not spreading out more than necessary on public transport or in shared workspaces.
16. Don’t expect praise or rewards for basic decent behaviour.
Source: Unsplash Treating women with respect and equality should be the norm, not something exceptional. Avoid phrases like “I’m a nice guy” or expecting special treatment for not being sexist. True allies support women without looking for recognition or rewards. Just be a decent human being because it’s the right thing to do.
