No one enjoys being criticised, but how you handle it is up to you—and being mature and gracious about it makes a huge difference.
Some people get defensive, shut down, or take it personally, while others see it as a chance to grow. The smartest people don’t just tolerate criticism, either; they use it to their advantage. They’ve learned how to take feedback without letting it crush their confidence or ruin their mood. Instead of feeling personally attacked or trying to avoid feedback altogether, they find ways to make it work in their favour. Here are just some of the things intelligent people do when they get negative feedback.
1. They take a few deep breaths before reacting.
Most people’s first instinct when faced with criticism is to react, either by getting defensive, making excuses, or pushing back. Emotions can take over quickly, especially if the feedback feels unfair or unexpected. Many people jump into justification mode, explaining why they did what they did before even fully processing what’s being said.
Smart people, however, take time to process before responding. They don’t let their emotions take control. Instead, they give themselves a second to breathe, absorb what’s being said, and think logically about whether the criticism has value before saying anything. Being able to pause allows them to maintain composure, ensuring that their response is thoughtful rather than reactive.
2. They separate the message from the tone.
Not all criticism is delivered kindly, and that’s where a lot of people struggle. When feedback is wrapped in harsh words or a condescending tone, many people focus on how the message is delivered rather than the content itself. They might feel attacked or disrespected, which can cause them to dismiss the feedback entirely.
Smart people, however, filter out the emotional charge and focus on what’s useful. They ask themselves, “Is there something valuable in this feedback?” even if the delivery was off. They understand that valuable insights can come from poorly communicated messages, and they don’t let tone get in the way of potential growth.
3. They don’t take it personally.
It’s easy to feel like criticism is an attack on who you are, but smart people see it differently. They understand that feedback is usually about their actions, decisions, or work, not about their worth as a person. Instead of feeling personally judged, they view it as an external assessment of something they’ve done.
Instead of thinking, “I’m a failure,” they think, “I could have done that better.” By keeping criticism separate from their self-esteem, they stay open to learning instead of feeling crushed. Having that mindset helps them handle feedback with confidence, rather than letting it shake their self-worth.
4. They ask for clarification instead of assuming.
Many people jump to conclusions about criticism, assuming the worst and taking offence before fully understanding what was meant. They might immediately assume that the person giving the feedback dislikes them or is being overly harsh, which can lead to unnecessary tension.
Smart people, on the other hand, ask questions. They might say, “Can you explain what you mean?” or “Can you give me an example?” This not only shows maturity but also ensures they get the most out of the feedback instead of misinterpreting it. They ask for clarity rather than making assumptions.
5. They look for patterns in feedback.
Getting criticised once doesn’t mean much, but if they hear the same feedback multiple times, smart people take notice. They recognise that repeated criticism points to an area that might need improvement. They don’t brush off recurring feedback as bad luck or assume people are just being overly critical.
Instead of ignoring it, they reflect on whether there’s truth to it. They see feedback as a mirror, helping them spot blind spots they wouldn’t have noticed on their own. If multiple people have pointed out the same issue, they take it seriously and use it as an opportunity for self-improvement.
6. They use it as fuel for growth.
Whereas some people feel discouraged by criticism, smart people see it as a tool for improvement. They don’t just hear it; they act on it. They take constructive feedback and turn it into action, refining their skills and adjusting their approach where needed.
Instead of sulking or feeling defeated, they think, “How can I use this to get better?” They take constructive feedback as an opportunity to sharpen their skills and become stronger in whatever they do. Rather than letting criticism deflate them, they let it push them forward.
7. They filter out useless criticism.
Not all criticism is worth taking seriously. Some people give feedback based on their own insecurities, jealousy, or lack of understanding. Many people waste energy dwelling on unhelpful criticism, letting it get under their skin, even when it’s coming from an unreliable source.
Smart people know how to spot the difference between useful and useless criticism. They don’t waste time dwelling on feedback that’s vague, unhelpful, or clearly coming from a bad place. If the criticism isn’t constructive, they let it roll off their shoulders and move on.
8. They maintain confidence despite negative feedback.
For many, criticism can shake their confidence, making them doubt their abilities. Some people take negative feedback as proof that they aren’t good enough, which can hold them back from taking risks or trying new things.
Smart people, however, don’t let it define their self-worth. They remind themselves that even the best people in any field get criticised. Instead of seeing criticism as proof they’re incapable, they see it as part of the process of improvement.
9. They apply what makes sense and discard the rest.
Source: Unsplash Some people either reject all criticism or try to change themselves completely based on what other people say. They might either shut down and refuse to listen or take every single comment to heart, constantly changing their approach based on feedback.
Smart people find a balance; they take what’s useful and ignore what’s not. They reflect on feedback and ask, “Does this align with my goals?” If it does, they apply it. If not, they move on without overthinking it or letting it consume them.
10. They don’t let one person’s opinion define them.
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to feel like a single piece of criticism outweighs all the positive feedback you’ve ever received. Many people fixate on one negative comment, even if they’ve received countless compliments before.
Smart people, however, don’t let one person’s words overshadow everything else. They remind themselves that opinions are subjective. Just because someone didn’t like what they did doesn’t mean it was bad. They look at the bigger picture instead of letting one critique shake them.
11. They see criticism as a normal part of success.
Most people try to avoid criticism at all costs because it’s uncomfortable. They take negative feedback as a sign that they should stop trying or that they’re on the wrong path.
Smart people know that the more you put yourself out there, the more criticism you’ll get. They don’t take it as a bad sign; they see it as proof that they’re growing. Whether it’s in their career, creative projects, or personal life, they understand that being criticised just means they’re doing something worth noticing.
12. They move on quickly
Some people dwell on criticism for days, replaying it in their minds and letting it ruin their mood. They let one comment linger, making them feel stuck or hesitant about moving forward.
Smart people process it, learn from it, and then move on. They don’t let a single piece of feedback hold them back. They take what they need from it, make improvements if necessary, and then refocus on their goals. They refuse to let criticism slow them down.
