Religion can be a source of kindness, love, and guidance—but it can also be twisted into something much more toxic and harmful.
Some people use scripture not to inspire goodness, but to control, shame, or justify bad behaviour. Whether it’s manipulating people, avoiding accountability, or excusing inappropriate behaviour, misusing religious teachings can be incredibly damaging. Here are some common ways people twist scripture to defend behaviours that go against the core values of faith.
1. They use “honour thy father and mother” to demand blind obedience.
The idea of honouring parents is meant to encourage respect, but some people weaponise it to demand control. They use it to silence their children, insisting that any disagreement is “disrespectful” or “against God,” regardless of how harmful their own behaviour is. Honouring someone doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or neglect. Healthy respect works both ways, and no one, parent or not, has the right to demand obedience without accountability. Real respect is built on love, not fear.
2. They justify mistreating people by claiming that “we’re all sinners.”
Some people use the idea that “nobody is perfect” as a free pass for toxic behaviour. If they lie, manipulate, or hurt people, they downplay it by saying, “Well, everyone sins,” as if that means they don’t have to change. While it’s true that no one is perfect, that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t take responsibility for their actions. Using sin as an excuse to keep behaving badly completely misses the point of self-reflection and growth.
3. They claim “wives must submit to their husbands” to control women.
Some religious teachings emphasise the importance of harmony in marriage, but this verse is often misused to strip women of independence. Certain men demand total submission from their wives, using scripture to justify controlling, dismissing, or even mistreating them. A healthy relationship isn’t about dominance; it’s about partnership. Mutual respect, love, and understanding are core values in any strong marriage, and no one should use religion to force another person into submission.
4. They weaponise “turn the other cheek” to silence people.
Forgiveness is important, but some people twist this concept to pressure other people into tolerating mistreatment. When someone stands up for themselves, they’re told they should just “let it go” or “be the bigger person,” as if protecting themselves is somehow unholy. There’s a difference between forgiveness and allowing harm to continue. Setting boundaries and speaking up against wrongdoing isn’t a lack of faith—it’s self-respect.
5. They use “God will provide” as an excuse for irresponsibility.
Trusting in God’s plan doesn’t mean avoiding personal responsibility, but some people misuse this idea to justify reckless or irresponsible choices. Instead of taking action, they insist that everything will just work out because “God will take care of it.” Faith is meant to work alongside effort, not replace it. Taking responsibility for your life while also trusting in a higher power is a much healthier balance than expecting divine intervention to solve every problem.
6. They twist “judge not, lest ye be judged” to shut down accountability.
Many people love quoting this verse when they’re being called out for bad behaviour. They use it to suggest that no one has the right to challenge them, no matter what they do. But the real message of this teaching isn’t about avoiding accountability; it’s about avoiding hypocrisy. There’s a big difference between unfair judgement and holding someone responsible for their actions.
7. They claim “God hates divorce” to trap people in toxic marriages.
Some religious groups use this idea to pressure people into staying in unhealthy, damaging, or even abusive marriages. They make divorce seem like the ultimate sin, even when the relationship is harmful. While faith may value commitment, it also values safety, love, and well-being. No one should be forced to stay in a situation that is emotionally, physically, or spiritually damaging.
8. They justify greed by misinterpreting “God wants to bless you.”
Some religious leaders twist scripture to suggest that wealth is a sign of God’s favour and that struggling people must be lacking in faith. This leads to the idea that success equals righteousness, while poverty equals failure. While faith can bring prosperity in different ways, it’s not a competition for wealth. The real message is about generosity, gratitude, and spiritual fulfilment, not material gain.
9. They use “faith over fear” to dismiss valid concerns.
Some people use this phrase to pressure people into ignoring their instincts, concerns, or even professional advice. Whether it’s refusing medical treatment or dismissing legitimate fears, they frame any hesitation as a “lack of faith.” Of course, having faith doesn’t mean ignoring reality; it’s there to help you get through challenges with wisdom and courage. Being careful or questioning something doesn’t mean you lack trust; it means you’re thinking critically.
10. They say “everything happens for a reason” to dismiss pain.
When someone is grieving, struggling, or in pain, being told “everything happens for a reason” can feel dismissive. Some people use this phrase to avoid offering real support, as if suffering should be accepted without question. While it’s comforting to believe in a greater purpose, that doesn’t mean pain should be minimised. Acknowledging hardship, rather than brushing it off with a spiritual cliché, is a far more compassionate response.
11. They use “pray about it” as a way to avoid action.
Prayer can be powerful, but some people use it as an excuse to avoid taking real steps toward change. Instead of helping, apologising, or making an effort, they say, “I’ll pray about it” as a way to appear spiritual without actually doing anything. Faith should inspire action, not replace it. Prayer is meant to guide people toward solutions, not be an excuse for inaction.
12. They claim “God’s plan” to avoid taking responsibility for harm.
Some people justify hurtful behaviour by saying, “It’s all part of God’s plan.” Whether they’ve mistreated someone, made bad decisions, or caused real damage, they use this idea to avoid accountability. While faith teaches that everything has purpose, it doesn’t mean people aren’t responsible for their actions. Hiding behind “God’s plan” as an excuse for harm is a complete misuse of spirituality.
13. They twist “love the sinner, hate the sin” to justify judgement.
At first, this phrase seems compassionate, but it’s often used to subtly shame and exclude people. Many use it as a way to criticise lifestyles or identities they personally disagree with, while claiming they’re being loving. True love doesn’t come with conditions or judgement disguised as kindness. Treating people with dignity and respect means accepting them fully, not just tolerating them while quietly disapproving.
14. They use “forgive and forget” to erase past harm.
Forgiveness is a core part of many religions, but it’s not the same as pretending something never happened. Some people use this phrase to push people into ignoring real pain or to escape consequences for their actions. Forgiveness doesn’t erase history; it promotes healing in a way that allows someone to move forward. And sometimes, that means setting boundaries, remembering lessons, and choosing not to allow the same harm again.
