Just because you’re not a kid anymore doesn’t mean your parents don’t still influence your decisions in life.
You want to make them proud, of course, but they may be putting unnecessary and unfair pressure on you to live your life according to their desires, and that’s not okay. If you grew up with the weight of the world on your shoulders thanks to Mum and Dad, and that hasn’t really improved since becoming an adult, it may be affecting you in some pretty big ways.
1. You need constant approval from other people.
If your parents had high expectations, you might find yourself always looking for validation from people in your life. Whether it’s at work or in relationships, you might feel the need to prove yourself. It can be tiring, and it’s hard to focus on what makes you happy.
2. You struggle to make decisions without second-guessing yourself.
If you were often criticised growing up, making decisions might feel stressful. You may find yourself doubting your choices, even after you’ve made them. You might rely on other people to reassure you, which can make simple decisions feel like a huge deal.
3. You feel guilty for prioritising your own needs.
Many people raised with strong parental expectations feel guilty when they put their own needs first. As an adult, it might feel selfish to focus on what you want. This can stop you from taking care of yourself or going after what truly makes you happy.
4. You’re scared of disappointing people.
If disappointing your parents was a big fear growing up, you might still carry that feeling into adulthood. You might go out of your way to avoid upsetting people, even if it means sacrificing your own needs. Living with that constant worry can be pretty draining.
5. You have a hard time setting boundaries.
If you grew up putting everyone else first, you might struggle to say no as an adult. Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, especially when you’re used to accommodating everyone else’s needs. Without clear boundaries, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stretched too thin.
6. You measure your success by external achievements.
Source: Unsplash If your parents focused on things like good grades or career milestones, you might do the same as an adult. Success might feel like something you measure by external achievements rather than personal satisfaction. It can make you feel like you’re never doing enough, even when you are.
7. You compare yourself to other people constantly.
Source: Unsplash Growing up with a lot of pressure to succeed can make you more likely to compare yourself to other people. You might always feel like you’re falling short, even if you’re doing well. Constantly measuring yourself against other people can leave you feeling inadequate.
8. You avoid taking risks for fear of failure.
Source: Unsplash If you were raised to fear failure, it might be hard to take risks as an adult. The fear of making mistakes can keep you from trying new things or going after what you really want. This can hold you back from experiencing new opportunities.
9. You feel anxious in high-pressure situations.
Source: Unsplash If you’ve spent your life trying to meet expectations, high-pressure situations might make you feel anxious. Whether it’s at work or in your personal life, the fear of not living up to those expectations can lead to stress and make it hard to stay calm.
10. You can never bring yourself to celebrate your success.
Source: Unsplash Even when you achieve something great, you might find it hard to feel proud of yourself. If your parents downplayed your successes or always expected more, you might have a hard time recognising your own accomplishments. It can feel like nothing is ever enough.
11. You struggle with perfectionism.
Source: Unsplash If you grew up with a lot of pressure to be perfect, it’s likely you still struggle with perfectionism. As an adult, trying to do everything perfectly can lead to burnout and frustration. It’s exhausting and can stop you from enjoying your accomplishments.
12. You take criticism very personally.
Source: Unsplash When you’re used to being criticised, even helpful feedback can feel personal. You might take criticism to heart, which can make it hard to separate your performance from your self-worth. It’s easy to feel like you’re being judged, even when it’s not the case.
13. You avoid conflict at all costs.
Source: Unsplash If you grew up avoiding conflict with your parents, that pattern might continue into adulthood. You might shy away from difficult conversations or go along with things you don’t agree with just to keep the peace. This can lead to frustration and unresolved issues.
14. You feel responsible for other people’s happiness.
Source: Unsplash If you were made to feel responsible for your parents’ happiness, you might carry that into adulthood. You could find yourself trying to keep everyone else happy, often at the cost of your own well-being. This can be stressful and leave you feeling drained.
