While avoiding people you can’t stand altogether is ideal, it’s not always possible.
Maybe it’s a colleague who sits next to you at the office, or a family friend who happens to be around for every gathering. No matter the situation, putting up with someone who’s insufferable (at least in your eyes) is enough to make anyone feel a bit irritated. However, lashing out at them or being rude and dismissive isn’t the answer. Classy people know how to handle these situations in ways that allow them to stay cool, calm and collected — at least on the surface. Here are some things they do to ensure they preserve their dignity in the presence of people who just aren’t their cup of tea.
1. They focus on the bigger picture.
They always remember why they’re in the situation to begin with. Whether it’s a work event or a family get-together, they keep their attention on their purpose, not the person annoying them. It’s easy to get bogged down in petty frustrations, but when you remind yourself of the bigger picture, it’s easier to keep your emotions in check. After all, the event or gathering is bigger than one irritating person, right?
2. They keep polite boundaries in place.
When you’re stuck talking to someone you’d rather avoid, they know exactly how to engage just enough to be polite, but without overcommitting. They keep conversations light and steer clear of personal topics that might lead to conflict. Subtle boundaries—like standing a little farther apart or giving short, neutral responses—help them protect their peace without causing drama. It’s all about keeping things cordial, without letting anyone step on your emotional space.
3. They control their facial expressions.
Even when someone’s being particularly frustrating, classy people are experts at keeping their faces neutral. No rolling eyes or sarcastic smirks, just calm, composed expressions. A bit of self-control is key to avoiding escalating the situation or giving the other person any ammunition. It also keeps you from looking like you’re letting them get to you, which, let’s be honest, is pretty satisfying.
4. They use banter to keep the tension to a minimum.
A well-timed joke or a bit of playful banter can make all the difference when things feel tense. These people can use humour to ease the mood and subtly redirect the conversation. It’s a great way to take the pressure off and make the whole situation a little more bearable for everyone involved. When done right, humour cuts down tension and can even make a difficult person feel less combative.
5. They don’t gossip, no matter how tempting.
Even if everyone else around them is gossiping about the person they can’t stand, classy people try to stay above it all. They know that talking badly about other people just reflects poorly on themselves. Instead of getting sucked into the negativity, they steer the conversation towards something more positive or neutral. They’d much rather be known for their integrity than for participating in drama.
6. They focus on the positives (even if they’re hard to find).
It’s not easy, but they make an effort to find something redeeming about the person they dislike. Whether it’s a shared interest or even just appreciating how they’ve handled a situation, they look for the good. Shifting their perspective—even just a little—can make interactions feel less draining. When you can find even a small positive, it makes dealing with difficult people a lot easier.
7. They keep conversations brief and purposeful.
They don’t stick around longer than they need to. They’re polite and respectful, but they keep chats short and to the point. By doing so, they limit opportunities for frustration to build up. They keep the conversation cordial but avoid letting it drag on, which means less chance for tension to rise.
8. They lean on their listening skills.
Instead of diving into a back-and-forth, classy people often let the other person talk more. Active listening helps them stay calm and prevents them from saying something they might regret. Plus, it can keep the conversation flowing without too much emotional energy. Sometimes, letting someone vent or talk about themselves is all it takes to keep the peace.
9. They practise self-restraint.
It’s tempting to snap or make a snarky remark, especially when you’re frustrated, but classy people resist. They understand that reacting negatively only gives the other person control over their emotions. They stay calm, even when they’re pushed to their limit. The key to handling a frustrating situation is remembering that keeping your composure always works in your favour in the long run.
10. They’re kind but firm.
They know how to stand their ground without being aggressive. If someone crosses a line, they address it calmly but directly. They don’t let people walk all over them, but they also don’t resort to being rude. There’s a balance between assertiveness and politeness, and these people strike it with ease. They deal with issues in a way that reflects their values and maintains their dignity.
11. They always have an exit strategy.
When things get unbearable, they know when it’s time to step away. Whether it’s by starting a conversation with someone else, going to get a drink, or just quietly slipping out of the room, they have an exit strategy that lets them leave without drama. Knowing how to exit gracefully helps them maintain their composure and avoid further tension.
12. They stay focused on their own behaviour.
Source: Unsplash Instead of getting stuck on the other person’s annoying traits, they focus on their own behaviour. They remind themselves that how they act says more about them than how the other person behaves. By keeping the focus on themselves, they avoid getting pulled into negativity or responding to provocation. In the end, staying true to yourself is what matters most.
13. They try to be compassionate.
Source: Unsplash They remember that everyone has their struggles, even the people they find difficult. By approaching interactions with empathy, they can depersonalise the situation and react with grace. That doesn’t mean putting up with bad behaviour, but it does help them maintain composure and handle things with more kindness.
14. They let go of lingering negativity.
Source: Unsplash Once the conversation is over, they don’t dwell on it. They move on, knowing that holding onto negativity only drags them down. Instead, they focus on things that bring them joy and peace. Letting go is a superpower, helping them stay mentally clear and emotionally balanced.
