Self-respect isn’t something you’re born with – it’s a skill you can learn and improve if you haven’t got any.
If you’ve been feeling a bit rubbish about yourself lately, these tips might help you build up that inner confidence and start treating yourself with the kindness you deserve. It won’t be easy, but recognising your own worth and demanding that other people do too will be one of the most rewarding things you ever accomplish in your life. Trust me on this one — I’ve been there!
1. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
Every person on the planet has scrolled through social media and felt like rubbish because everyone else seems to have their life together. But here’s the thing: you’re only seeing their highlight reel. Focus on your own journey instead of measuring yourself against other people. You’re not getting the real story, and even if you were, who cares? Live your own life instead of coveting other people’s.
2. Learn to say no without feeling guilty.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of always saying yes to keep people happy, but constantly putting other people’s needs before your own is a fast track to burnout. Practice saying no to things you don’t want to do – it’s not selfish (and even if it is, sometimes that’s necessary).
3. Celebrate your small wins.
Did you finally do that load of washing that’s been sitting there for days? Brilliant! Finished a book? Amazing! Don’t wait for massive achievements to pat yourself on the back. Recognising your small victories can boost your confidence and motivation, which makes you more likely to go after the big stuff eventually.
4. Stop apologising for everything.
If you find yourself saying sorry for things that aren’t your fault, it’s time to break that habit. Save your apologies for when you’ve genuinely messed up. Otherwise, you’re just undermining your own worth.
5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
Boundaries aren’t just about saying no – they’re about defining what’s okay and what’s not okay in your relationships. Whether it’s with friends, family, or colleagues, clear boundaries show that you respect yourself enough to stand up for your needs. Don’t let people walk all over you.
6. Take care of your physical health.
Looking after your body isn’t just about looking good – it’s about feeling good too. Eat foods that don’t come from a box, packet, or Just Eat, move your body in ways you enjoy, and get enough sleep. Your future self will thank you for it.
7. Speak to yourself like you’d speak to a friend.
We’re often our own harshest critics — that’s just the way it goes, but that doesn’t make it right. Would you talk to your best mate the way you talk to yourself? Probably not. Try to catch those negative thoughts and reframe them with kindness and understanding.
8. Stop seeking validation from other people.
It’s nice when people compliment us, but if you’re constantly looking for approval from others, you’re giving away your power. Learn to trust your own judgement and be okay with your decisions, even if not everyone agrees with them. You have to back yourself!
9. Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
We all mess up sometimes – it’s part of being human. Holding on to guilt or shame over past mistakes doesn’t serve you. Learn from them, sure, but then let them go and move forward. Otherwise, your life is going to pass you by.
10. Invest in your personal growth.
Never stop learning and growing. Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, learning a skill, or reading about topics that interest you, investing in your personal development shows that you value yourself and your potential. That’s kind of the whole point of life, no?
11. Surround yourself with positive people.
The people we spend time with have a big impact on how we feel about ourselves. Try to surround yourself with people who lift you up, support your goals, and make you feel good about being you.
12. Stop trying to please everyone.
Source: Unsplash Here’s a hard truth: you can’t make everyone happy all the time, and trying to do so will only leave you feeling drained and resentful. Focus on being true to yourself instead of bending over backwards to please people. You’re worth more than what you can do for people, you know.
13. Practise self-compassion.
Source: Unsplash When things go wrong, it’s easy to beat yourself up, but treating yourself with kindness and understanding in tough times is vital for self-respect. Remember, you’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got. Be a bit nicer to yourself!
14. Stand up for yourself.
If someone treats you badly or disrespects you, speak up. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but advocating for yourself shows that you value your own worth and won’t let people walk all over you. You get the treatment you accept, so demand better.
15. Take responsibility for your life.
Source: Unsplash It’s tempting to blame others or circumstances for our problems, but taking responsibility for your choices and actions is empowering. It means you have the power to change things, even if it’s just your attitude towards a situation.
16. Dress in a way that makes you feel good.
Source: Unsplash This isn’t about following trends or dressing to impress people. It’s about wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. When you look good (by your own standards), you often feel good, too. It sounds a bit cheesy, but you know it’s true!
17. Learn to accept compliments graciously.
Source: Unsplash Do you brush off compliments or immediately deflect them? Try this instead: simply say “thank you”. Accepting praise doesn’t make you arrogant – it shows that you recognise your own worth.
18. Make time for things you enjoy.
Life isn’t all about work and responsibilities. Making time for hobbies, relaxation, and fun is important too. It shows that you value your own happiness and well-being, which is a big part of self-respect.
