We all have too much on our plates in general — the last thing we need is to add more unnecessary stuff on top.
It’s so important to conserve and protect your energy in life so that you have more to spend on the things that actually matter. These things don’t — cross them off your to-do list, and you’ll be shocked at how much happier (and how much less stressed and miserable) you are.
1. Reading between invisible lines
That one-word text response can send you spiralling into a maze of overthinking. Was “okay” meant to be passive-aggressive? Did their emoji choice carry a hidden meaning? The truth is, our minds often turn simple messages into complex puzzles, while the sender probably hasn’t given it a second thought. Sometimes, a message is just a message—nothing more, nothing less.
2. Keeping score in friendships
You might find yourself tallying every coffee date, favour, or even likes on social media in an invisible ledger. So much mental accounting turns genuine relationships into transactions, where you’re constantly keeping track of who owes what. Real friendships thrive in the moments when we connect without the weight of scorekeeping, where people show up because they genuinely want to be there, not because they feel indebted.
3. Running dress rehearsals for conversations that never happen
Source: Unsplash You’ve probably spent countless hours crafting the perfect comeback for an argument that never occurs, or a flawless explanation for a confrontation that’s only in your imagination. These mental rehearsals can sap your energy, leaving you drained for the real conversations that need your attention. Instead of expending effort on scenarios that likely won’t unfold, channel that energy into genuine interactions.
4. Trying to control how people see you
There’s a lot of pressure to curate the perfect image, managing every impression and calculating your words to shape how other people see you. Such an exhausting performance, in an effort to be everyone’s ideal version of yourself, leaves little room for authenticity. People’s perceptions can shift like the wind, and trying to control them is as futile as trying to hold on to water.
5. Apologising for taking up space
If you find yourself constantly saying “sorry” for simply existing in public or having needs, it’s time to reevaluate. Each needless apology reinforces the idea that your presence requires forgiveness, when in fact, the space you occupy is yours by right. You don’t need to apologise for living your life—your existence is valid without a constant stream of “sorries.”
6. Maintaining relationships on life support
Some friendships are kept alive through obligatory check-ins, relying more on history than on the present. Forcing interaction in relationships that have naturally run their course only drains both parties. Remember, some connections are chapters in your life, not lifetime commitments. Letting go can be liberating and allows you to invest in relationships that truly matter.
7. Performing interest in small talk
Source: Unsplash We’ve all experienced the forced enthusiasm about weekend plans or polite nods through stories that don’t engage us. The daily performance drains the energy you could use for genuine connections. Embracing authentic disinterest is far more refreshing than pretending to care about topics that don’t excite you.
8. Managing other people’s emotions
Constantly adjusting your behaviour to regulate someone else’s feelings can feel like walking on eggshells. The emotional choreography you have to perform can exhaust you while enabling other people. Remember, other people’s emotional states are not your responsibility to manage. Focus on your own feelings and boundaries instead.
9. Defending your basic choices
Source: Unsplash The need to constantly explain your decisions—whether it’s being single, choosing a particular career, or living somewhere unexpected—can sap your joy. You shouldn’t have to justify your choices with a detailed presentation. Your decisions are valid simply because they’re yours; you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
10. Clinging to outdated self-images
Source: Unsplash Holding on to old versions of yourself—like the honours student or the social butterfly—takes up energy you could use to evolve. These outdated identities require constant effort to maintain. Remember that people grow and change, and letting go of these old labels can create space for new, more authentic identities to emerge.
11. Forcing connections that don’t click
Source: Unsplash Some friendships feel like hard work, requiring constant effort just to keep the conversation going. Genuine chemistry—whether platonic or romantic—should feel effortless, not like heavy lifting. Embrace the natural connections that flow easily; they’re far more rewarding than the ones that drain your energy.
12. Playing spokesperson for your choices
Source: Unsplash If you find yourself endlessly explaining why you don’t drink, why you’re vegan, or why you left a job, consider how exhausting that can be. Your personal choices don’t need a marketing campaign to be valid. You are allowed to live your life without feeling the need to justify it to anyone.
13. Participating in performative productivity
Source: Unsplash We’ve all seen the theatrical busyness—the hustle that’s more for show than substance. The constant display of productivity often costs more energy than the work itself. True productivity doesn’t need to be showcased on social media; it thrives quietly in the background.
14. Fighting your own timeline
Source: Unsplash Comparing yourself to where everyone else is in their lives can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. The pressure to meet imaginary deadlines can drain your energy and detract from actual progress. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no universal schedule—embracing your own journey will always be more fulfilling.
