There’s no use denying it — being liked is important.
Whether you’re trying to make friends, succeed at work, or just feel good about yourself, having the approval and affection of the people around you can make all the difference. But being likeable isn’t always easy, especially if you’re not naturally outgoing or charismatic. The good news is that there are some simple behaviours and habits you can adopt to increase your chances of being pretty popular wherever you go.
1. Be genuinely interested in other people.
One of the easiest ways to be liked is to show a genuine interest in the people around you. Ask them questions about their lives, their hobbies, and their opinions, and really listen to their answers. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk, or use their responses as a springboard for your own stories. Show that you value their perspectives and experiences, and that you’re not just talking to them to hear yourself speak.
2. Be a good listener.
Being a good listener goes hand in hand with being genuinely interested in other people. When someone is talking to you, give them your full attention. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and don’t interrupt or finish their sentences for them. Show that you’re engaged and empathetic by nodding, asking follow-up questions, and reflecting back what you’ve heard. People like to feel heard and understood, and being a good listener is an easy way to make them feel valued.
3. Be authentic and honest.
People can usually tell when someone is being fake or insincere, and it’s a major turn-off. If you want to be liked, be authentic and honest in your interactions. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or agree with opinions that don’t align with your values. Be true to yourself and your beliefs, even if it means respectfully disagreeing with people. People respect authenticity and honesty, and they’re more likely to like and trust you if you’re upfront about who you are.
4. Show empathy and compassion.
Empathy and compassion are two of the most important qualities for being liked and respected by everyone around you. When someone is going through a tough time or struggling with a problem, show that you care by offering your support and understanding. Don’t just offer platitudes or try to fix their problems for them, but listen with an open heart and validate their feelings. People appreciate when people show genuine concern for their well-being, and it can go a long way in building strong, positive relationships.
5. Be reliable and dependable.
If you want to be liked and trusted, it’s important to be reliable and dependable. When you make a promise or commitment, follow through on it. Show up on time, do what you say you’re going to do, and don’t flake out at the last minute. People appreciate when they can count on people to be there for them, and being reliable is a key component of building strong, lasting relationships.
6. Be humble and gracious.
Nobody likes a braggart or a know-it-all. If you want to be liked, be humble and gracious. Don’t constantly talk about your own accomplishments or try to one-up everyone with your stories. Instead, celebrate the successes and achievements of those around you, and give credit where credit is due. When you receive a compliment or praise, accept it graciously and thank the person who gave it to you. People appreciate humility and graciousness, and it can go a long way in building positive relationships.
7. Be positive and optimistic.
People are naturally drawn to those who have a positive, optimistic outlook on life. If you want to be liked, try to maintain a cheerful, upbeat attitude, even in the face of challenges or setbacks. Don’t constantly complain or dwell on the negative, but instead focus on the good things in your life and the lives of those around you. Encourage people when they’re feeling down, and try to find the silver lining in difficult situations. People appreciate positivity and optimism, and it can be contagious in social situations.
8. Be open-minded and non-judgmental.
One of the quickest ways to turn people off is to be closed-minded and judgmental. If you want to be liked, try to keep an open mind and avoid making snap judgments about people based on their appearances, backgrounds, or beliefs. Be willing to listen to different perspectives and opinions, even if you don’t agree with them. Show respect for diversity and individuality, and don’t try to impose your own values or beliefs on anyone. People appreciate open-mindedness and tolerance, and it can help create a more inclusive, welcoming environment.
9. Be generous and helpful.
Generosity and helpfulness are two of the most likeable qualities a person can have. If you want to be liked, look for opportunities to be kind and helpful to those around you. Offer to lend a hand when someone is struggling with a task, or go out of your way to do something nice for a friend or colleague. Don’t keep score or expect anything in return, but simply do it because it’s the right thing to do. People appreciate generosity and kindness, and it can help build strong, positive relationships.
10. Have a sense of humour and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Having a good sense of humour is one of the most attractive and likeable qualities a person can have. If you want to be liked, don’t take yourself too seriously and be willing to laugh at yourself and the absurdities of life. Look for opportunities to make people laugh and smile, whether it’s through a witty comment or a funny story. Just be careful not to cross the line into mean-spirited or offensive humour, and always read the room to make sure your jokes are appropriate for the situation.
11. Be a good conversationalist.
Being a good conversationalist is key to being liked and accepted. If you want to be liked, work on your conversation skills by being an active listener, asking thoughtful questions, and sharing your own experiences and opinions in a clear, engaging way. Avoid dominating the conversation or interrupting people, and try to find common ground and shared interests with the people you’re talking to. Good conversation skills can help you build rapport and connection, and make you a more likeable and interesting person to be around.
12. Show respect and manners.
Respect and good manners go a long way in social (and professional!) settings. If you want to be liked, always treat people with respect and courtesy, regardless of their age, status, or background. Use your manners, say please and thank you, and avoid rude or offensive behaviour. Show appreciation for people’s time and efforts, and don’t take them for granted. People appreciate respect and good manners, and it can help create a more positive, harmonious environment.
13. Be consistent and loyal.
It’s important to be consistent and loyal in your behaviour and relationships. Don’t say one thing and do another, or change your personality or values depending on who you’re with. Be true to yourself and your commitments, and stand by your friends and loved ones through thick and thin. People appreciate consistency and loyalty, and it can help build strong, lasting relationships based on trust and mutual respect.
