They say actions speak louder than words, and some habits reveal exactly how much (or little) your partner truly respects you.
They’re supposed to make you a priority, be there for you, and put in effort to show you they’re committed to the partnership, and when those things aren’t happening, it’s inevitable that the relationship will start to go downhill. Here’s what to watch for when the honeymoon glasses come off. If your partner is guilty of these things, they don’t hold you in very high regard, and you may want to head for the door.
1. Deliberately forgetting important dates
They somehow remember every detail of their favourite show but “forget” things that matter to you — your birthday, your allergies, that important presentation you mentioned three times. They don’t need to have a perfect memory, but what they choose to remember tells you a lot about their feelings for you. When someone consistently forgets things that matter to you but never misses their fantasy football draft, they’re showing you their priority list — and you might not be at the top.
2. Dismissing your feelings
Whether it’s telling you you’re “too sensitive” or rolling their eyes when you’re upset, downplaying or totally ignoring your feelings is a classic sign of disrespect. Everyone processes emotions differently, but a partner who constantly invalidates yours isn’t just being insensitive — they’re showing they don’t value your emotional experience. Bonus red flag if they use your feelings against you later in arguments.
3. Making decisions without consulting you
From making major purchases to planning weekends without checking in, unilateral decision-making shows they don’t see you as an equal partner. While not every tiny choice needs a committee meeting, regularly being left out of decisions that affect you both sends a clear message about how much they value your input. A respectful partner at least gives you a heads-up before spending your joint savings on a vintage motorcycle.
4. Criticising you in public
Playful teasing is one thing, but constant jabs about your habits, choices, or personality in front of other people is another. If they’re using social situations to make you feel small or turning you into the punchline of every story, they’re not just being funny — they’re undermining your dignity for laughs. Watch for those who save their worst behaviour for an audience.
5. Ignoring your boundaries
When you set a clear boundary, and they treat it like a suggestion, that’s disrespect in action. Whether it’s barging into your workspace during important calls or sharing private details with their friends after you’ve asked them not to, boundary-pushing shows they prioritise their convenience over your comfort. Respect means taking your limits seriously.
6. Comparing you to other people, and not in a flattering way
Constantly mentioning how their ex handled situations or how their friend’s partner does things better isn’t constructive criticism — it’s manipulation. These comparisons aren’t about helping you grow; they’re about making you feel inadequate. A respectful partner focuses on your relationship without bringing in a cast of characters for comparison.
7. Disregarding your time
Consistently showing up late, changing plans last minute, or keeping you waiting without communication shows they don’t value your time. Everyone runs late occasionally, but when it becomes a pattern, it’s not about poor time management — it’s about respect. Your time matters just as much as theirs, even if they act like it doesn’t.
8. Using your insecurities against you
If they remember your vulnerabilities only to use them as ammunition during arguments, that’s not just fighting dirty — it’s emotional manipulation. A partner who weaponises your insecurities isn’t forgetting in the heat of the moment; they’re choosing to hurt you where they know it counts. Trust someone who remembers your weak spots to protect them, not exploit them.
9. Withholding affection as punishment
Using the silent treatment or withdrawing emotional and physical affection when they’re upset is basically relationship ransom. It’s one thing to need space after an argument, but intentionally freezing you out to make you suffer shows they view affection as a weapon rather than a natural part of your connection.
10. Refusing to apologise sincerely
When their apologies come with a side of justification, or they turn it around to make you feel guilty for being upset, they’re not really sorry — they’re just sorry they got called out. Real apologies don’t include “but,” “if,” or making you feel bad for expecting one in the first place.
11. Breaking promises repeatedly
Little promises matter because they show whether someone values their word to you. If they consistently break commitments but expect you to keep yours, they’re showing you that reliability is a one-way street in your relationship. Watch for those who make promises easily but follow through rarely.
12. Dismissing your achievements
When they downplay your successes or turn every celebration of your accomplishments into a conversation about them, they’re showing their inability to genuinely support your growth. A partner who can’t be happy for your wins without making it about their losses isn’t just insecure — they’re actively undermining your joy.
13. Excluding you from important events/situations in their life
Whether it’s family events, friend gatherings, or important life decisions, consistently being left out of significant moments shows where you rank in their priorities. While everyone needs some separate space in relationships, regular exclusion from meaningful parts of their life suggests they see you as an accessory rather than a partner.
14. Mocking your interests
Making fun of what brings you joy, whether it’s your hobbies, music taste, or personal style, shows a lack of basic respect for who you are. You don’t need a partner who shares all your interests, but you deserve one who can respect them without turning them into punchlines. Someone who truly cares about you wants to understand what makes you happy, not tear it down.
15. Showing conditional support
If their support only shows up when it’s convenient or benefits them, that’s not real support — it’s opportunism. A partner who’s only there for the good times but vanishes during challenges is showing you exactly how deep their commitment runs. Real support doesn’t come with terms and conditions attached.
