Texting is pretty much everyone’s preferred method of communication these days.
It’s quick, easy, and demands very little of us — if you don’t feel like answering a message right now, you don’t have to. However, just because we do it all the time doesn’t mean we’re actually good at it. In fact, you might be making some major mistakes when messaging people, whether it’s a (potential) romantic partner, a friend, or even a family member. Doing these things can make you look desperate even if you’re not, so if you’re guilty of them, stop!
1. Double texting sends the wrong message.
Source: Unsplash Sending another text when the first one hasn’t been answered doesn’t make you look persistent—it makes you look panicked. Bombarding someone with messages can feel overwhelming and even push them further away. Send one thoughtful text, then let it breathe. The ball is in their court, and your time is worth more than anxiously waiting by your phone.
2. Obsessing over read receipts isn’t worth it.
Staring at that “read” notification and wondering why they haven’t replied yet isn’t helping anyone, least of all you. Overthinking their timing only creates unnecessary stress. Turn read receipts off if you can and trust that people will respond when they’re ready. You don’t need an app to validate your worth.
3. Not keeping messages short but sweet gets annoying.
A text isn’t the place for a novel. Long, rambling messages can be overwhelming and might even get ignored altogether. Stick to the main point and leave deeper conversations for in-person chats. Being concise makes your message clearer and shows confidence in what you’re saying.
4. Emojis should be the garnish, not the main course.
A few emojis can add some personality, but overloading your texts with them can feel like overcompensating. A string of hearts, smileys, or laughing faces doesn’t make your message more meaningful—it just buries your actual words. Let your message stand on its own, with emojis as the seasoning, not the meal.
5. Stop apologising for texting.
Kicking off a message with “Sorry to bother you…” instantly undermines what you’re about to say. If you’ve got a reason to text, own it. There’s no need to apologise for taking up someone’s time unless you’re genuinely interrupting something important. Confidence starts with how you present yourself—even in texts.
6. One question mark does the job.
Using “???” at the end of a question doesn’t make it more urgent—it just comes across as impatient or demanding. A single question mark is all you need to get your point across. Trust that your message will be understood without the added punctuation drama.
7. Don’t treat replies like a race.
Replying the second someone texts you might seem polite, but doing it every single time can set an unrealistic tone. It’s okay to take your time and respond when it works for you. Life doesn’t revolve around your phone, and showing you’re not glued to it only adds to your appeal.
8. Avoid endless typing indicators.
If you keep starting and stopping your message, that little typing bubble gives away your hesitation. It can come across as indecisive or overly worried about saying the “right” thing. Instead, think about what you want to say first, then type it out confidently and hit send.
9. Late night messages lack boundaries.
Texting someone at odd hours—especially if it’s not urgent—can feel intrusive or inconsiderate. It suggests you’re not thinking about boundaries or respecting their downtime. Unless it’s agreed that late-night chats are fine, save it for the next day.
10. Don’t call people out for being online.
Just because someone’s active on social media doesn’t mean they owe you a reply right then and there. Texting them to point it out only makes you seem like you’re keeping tabs on their every move. Let people interact with their online spaces without adding unnecessary pressure.
11. Reaction-seeking never goes over well.
Sending vague texts like “Ugh, what a day…” just to bait someone into asking what’s wrong? It’s a guaranteed way to look like you’re looking for attention. If you want to talk, be upfront and direct. Cryptic messages often do more harm than good.
12. Reply when it feels natural.
Trying to wait a specific amount of time before replying—whether to seem busy or uninterested—comes across as calculated. Authenticity matters more than playing games. Respond when you’re ready, without obsessing over what looks “right.”
13. Let group chats flow naturally.
Always being the first to respond in group texts or forcing conversations to keep going can feel a bit much. It’s fine to be involved, but don’t try to control the pace. Let things end naturally if the vibe is dying out.
14. Resist the urge to over-explain.
If someone hasn’t replied, following up with a long explanation about why you texted isn’t the answer. Trust that your message was clear enough the first time. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it might just mean they’re busy.
15. Confidence is in the restraint.
The most attractive texters know when to leave things alone. It’s about quality over quantity, being direct without being needy, and respecting both your time and theirs. If you’re ever unsure, step away from your phone and let real life take over. Texting should feel effortless, not like a chore.
