We’ve all met someone who thinks they’re God’s gift to the universe.
They’re insufferable — always bragging about their accomplishments, name-dropping their friends and connections, and acting like they’re doing you a favour just by gracing you with their presence. Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to put up with their inflated ego any longer. Here are 17 comebacks to put those big-headed jerks in their place.
1. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
This is a classic comeback that works well when someone is spouting off opinions as if they’re facts. It’s a way of telling them that they’re not as smart as they think they are, without directly insulting their intelligence. It’s a bit cheeky, but it gets the point across that you’re not going to just nod and agree with everything they say.
2. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were an expert on everything.”
Source: Unsplash This is a great way to call out someone who acts like they know it all. Whether they’re giving unsolicited advice or acting like they’re the authority on every topic under the sun, this comeback lets them know that you’re not buying what they’re selling. It’s a polite way of telling them to stay in their lane and stop acting like they have all the answers.
3. “Wow, you must be exhausted from carrying around that massive ego all day.”
Source: Unsplash This comeback is perfect for someone who’s always bragging about their accomplishments or talking about how great they are. It’s a way of pointing out how tiring it must be to constantly have to puff themselves up and prove how amazing they are. It’s a bit of a backhanded compliment, but it’s sure to take the wind out of their sails.
4. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name. Was it ‘God’?”
Source: Unsplash This is a great way to call out someone who acts like they’re the centre of the universe. Whether they’re always demanding attention or acting like they’re above everyone else, this comeback lets them know that they’re not as important as they think they are. It’s a bit of a reality check, but sometimes that’s exactly what a big-headed person needs.
5. “I’d love to hear more about your accomplishments, but I left my trophy polishing kit at home.”
Source: Unsplash This is a perfect comeback for someone who’s always bragging about their awards and accolades. It’s a way of telling them that you’re not impressed by their self-promotion, and that you don’t need to hear about every little thing they’ve ever achieved. It’s a bit sarcastic, but it’s a great way to shut down a braggart.
6. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise this was a competition.”
This is a great way to call out someone who’s always trying to one-up everyone else. Whether they’re bragging about their latest adventure or trying to prove that they’re smarter than everyone in the room, this comeback lets them know that you’re not playing their game. It’s a way of telling them to relax and stop trying so hard to be the best.
7. “I’m sure you’re great at a lot of things, but humility isn’t one of them.”
This is a clever way of pointing out someone’s lack of self-awareness. It’s a way of telling them that they might be talented or successful, but they’re not as humble as they should be. It’s a bit of a backhanded compliment, but it’s a great way to call out someone’s arrogance without being too harsh.
8. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were the arbiter of all that is cool and trendy.”
This is a perfect comeback for someone who’s always talking about the latest fashion trends or acting like they’re the authority on what’s hip and happening. It’s a way of telling them that their opinion isn’t the only one that matters, and that they don’t get to decide what’s cool for everyone else. It’s a bit sarcastic, but it’s a great way to put a trendsetter in their place.
9. “I’m sure you’re very important, but not to me.”
This is a great way to shut down someone who’s always demanding attention and acting like they’re the most important person in the room. It’s a polite way of telling them that you have better things to do than listen to them go on and on about how great they are. It’s a bit dismissive, but sometimes that’s exactly what a big-headed person needs to hear.
10. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were the gatekeeper of all knowledge and wisdom.”
This is a perfect comeback for someone who acts like they know everything about everything. Whether they’re giving unsolicited advice or acting like they’re the smartest person in the room, this comeback lets them know that you’re not buying into their self-proclaimed expertise. It’s a bit of a reality check, but sometimes that’s exactly what a know-it-all needs.
11. “I’m sure you’re very talented, but I don’t have a trophy to give you right now.”
This is a great way to shut down someone who’s always fishing for compliments and validation. It’s a way of telling them that you’re not going to stroke their ego or feed into their need for constant praise. It’s a bit of a reality check, but sometimes that’s exactly what a praise-seeker needs to hear.
12. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were the ultimate authority on [insert topic here].”
This is a perfect comeback for someone who acts like they’re an expert on a particular topic, even if they have no real qualifications or experience. Whether they’re giving unsolicited advice or acting like they know more than everyone else in the room, this comeback lets them know that you’re not buying into their self-proclaimed expertise. It’s a bit sarcastic, but it’s a great way to put a pretentious know-it-all in their place.
13. “I’m sure you’re very proud of yourself, but I’m not your personal cheerleader.”
Source: Unsplash This is a great way to shut down someone who’s always bragging about their accomplishments and seeking validation from others. It’s a way of telling them that you’re not going to be their personal hype man or feed into their need for constant praise. It’s a bit dismissive, but sometimes that’s exactly what a big-headed braggart needs to hear.
14. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were the judge and jury of all that is right and wrong.”
Source: Unsplash This is a perfect comeback for someone who’s always passing judgment on others and acting like their opinion is the only one that matters. Whether they’re criticising someone’s life choices or acting like they have the moral high ground on every issue, this comeback lets them know that you’re not going to just blindly agree with their judgments. It’s a bit of a reality check, but sometimes that’s exactly what a judgmental person needs.
15. “I’m sure you’re very charming, but sadly, I’m immune to your powers of persuasion.”
Source: Pexels This is a great way to shut down someone who’s always trying to charm and manipulate others to get what they want. Whether they’re using flattery or acting like they’re doing you a favour by gracing you with their presence, this comeback lets them know that you’re not falling for their tricks. It’s a bit of a reality check, but sometimes that’s exactly what a manipulative charmer needs to hear.
16. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were the ultimate arbiter of taste and style.”
Source: Unsplash This is a perfect comeback for someone who’s always criticising others’ fashion choices or acting like they’re the ultimate authority on what’s cool and trendy. Whether they’re making snide comments about someone’s outfit or acting like their opinion is the only one that matters, this comeback lets them know that you’re not going to just blindly agree with their judgments. It’s a bit sarcastic, but it’s a great way to put a fashion snob in their place.
17. “I’m sure you’re very impressive, but I don’t have time to be dazzled by your brilliance right now.”
Source: Unsplash This is a great way to shut down someone who’s always trying to impress others with their accomplishments or intellect. Whether they’re name-dropping famous friends or acting like they’re the smartest person in the room, this comeback lets them know that you’re not going to just sit there and be dazzled by their brilliance. It’s a bit dismissive, but sometimes that’s exactly what a big-headed show-off needs to hear.
