Ever felt like you’re dealing with someone who’s charming, successful, and seemingly confident, but something just feels…off? Like there’s a disconnect between their words and actions, or you always feel a little uneasy around them? You might be dealing with a high-level narcissist. Here are some red flags to watch out for.
1. They have an inflated sense of self-importance.
People like this truly believe in their heart of hearts they’re better than everyone else. They brag about their achievements (which usually aren’t all that impressive), exaggerate their talents, and generally like they’re entitled to special treatment. They’re not just confident, they’re extremely arrogant. Your opinions don’t matter — it’s all about them, all the time.
2. They need constant admiration and validation.
Narcissists have ridiculously fragile egos, Psychology Today notes, and they need a steady stream of compliments, attention, and adoration to fuel them. They fish for compliments, brag about anything and everything, and surround themselves with people who constantly shower them with praise. If you don’t give them the attention they crave, they get moody, sulky, or even angry. They need to feel like they’re the centre of the universe, and they’ll manipulate and exploit people to make sure they are.
3. They lack empathy and compassion.
Source: Unsplash High-level narcissists have a hard time understanding or caring about anyone’s feelings but their own. They minimize and dismiss your problems and concerns, and they always act like your feelings are weird or wrong. They might even seem like they enjoy your pain or discomfort.
4. They’re master manipulators.
Source: Unsplash High levels narcissists are experts at getting what they want, which usually comes at other people’s expense. They use flattery, guilt trips, and emotional blackmail to manipulate you into doing what they want. They also love to play the victim, twist your words, or gaslight you to make you doubt your own sanity. They’re really good at pulling your strings and making you feel like you’re the one who’s in the wrong.
5. They’re charming and charismatic (at first).
They’re great at making a good first impression, drawing you in with their wit, humour, and apparent confidence. They shower you with attention, compliments, and gifts, making you feel special and valued. Of course, this charm is often a façade, and a way to lure you in and gain your trust so they can exploit you later on.
6. They have a sense of entitlement.
Source: Unsplash High-level narcissists believe they’re entitled to special treatment, even if they haven’t earned it, Psych Central notes. They expect you to cater to their every whim, prioritise their needs over your own, or even excuse their bad behaviour. They have a sense of superiority and a belief that the rules don’t apply to them. This entitlement can be incredibly frustrating and draining to deal with.
7. They’re highly competitive and need to win at everything.
Narcissists hate losing, even in the most trivial situations. They need to be the best, the smartest, the most successful. They regularly try to one-up you, sabotage your efforts, or even belittle your achievements to make themselves feel superior. This competitive streak can make them difficult to work with, befriend, or have a healthy relationship with.
8. They’re never wrong.
Source: Unsplash In a narcissist’s mind, they’re always right, so they won’t admit to making mistakes, apologize, or take responsibility for their actions. They blame other people, make excuses, or simply deny that anything is wrong. Of course, refusing to acknowledge their flaws makes it impossible to have a healthy, productive conversation or resolve issues.
9. They exploit and use people.
Source: Unsplash High-level narcissists see people as tools to be used for their own gain. They charm their way into your life, showering you with attention and affection, only to turn around and use you for money, resources, or social connections. They have no qualms about taking advantage of your kindness, too. They might even convince you that you’re lucky to be in their presence, which then makes you feel obligated to serve their needs.
10. They’re not actually interested in anyone but themselves.
Source: Unsplash While they might appear charming and attentive on the surface, narcissists rarely show genuine interest in others. Conversations often revolve around themselves and their lives. They interrupt you, change the subject, or simply tune you out when you’re talking about something that doesn’t directly benefit them. They’re not interested in building meaningful connections, only in using people to further their own agenda.
11. They REALLY can’t handle criticism.
Source: Unsplash Even the slightest hint of criticism can trigger a narcissist’s rage, Choosing Therapy warns, and they’ll react with anger, defensiveness, or even aggression. They see any criticism as a personal attack because they’re unable to acknowledge their flaws or shortcomings, so they’ll lash out at anyone who dares to challenge their inflated sense of self.
12. They’re often jealous of people.
Source: Unsplash Narcissists are extremely jealous of people’s success, happiness, or possessions. As a way to relieve themselves of this feeling, they downplay your achievements, belittle your happiness, or try to sabotage your efforts. They believe that they deserve everything good in life, and they can’t stand to see other people doing better than them.
13. They believe they’re special and unique.
Narcissists have a grandiose sense of self, and they really do believe that they’re special, unique, and better than everyone else, and they expect to be treated accordingly. So, they surround themselves with people they deem worthy of their presence, while looking down on those they consider inferior. This inflated sense of self can be incredibly off-putting and alienating.
14. They lack boundaries and respect for other people.
Narcissists couldn’t care less about your boundaries, and they have little respect for other people’s feelings, needs, or personal space as a whole. They see other people as extensions of themselves, rather than as separate individuals with their own needs and desires.
