While the idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bit old-fashioned and reductive, it’s not entirely off-base.
There are some parts of being a woman that are so baked into daily life, we barely think about them—until we try to explain them or expect other people (particularly men) to understand them. No matter how hard we try to make ourselves heard and seen, there are many things about the female experience that many men still don’t quite get.
1. Feeling the need to assess safety every time we walk somewhere alone
Source: Unsplash It’s not paranoia; it’s just routine. Whether it’s walking to the car at night or entering a quiet lift, our brains do a quick scan: Who’s around? What’s the exit? It’s automatic at this point. And no, it’s not us being dramatic. It’s us knowing that ignoring those instincts has real consequences.
Many men don’t understand that this isn’t optional. It’s not a mindset we can easily turn off. It’s survival logic shaped by years of stories, warnings, and sometimes lived experiences. We’re not overthinking. We’re managing risk the way we’ve always had to.
2. Being expected to smile and stay nice no matter what
We get told to smile by strangers. We’re expected to be “pleasant” at work, even when we’re dealing with stress. If we don’t, we’re called rude, cold, or worse. It’s exhausting having to manage other people’s comfort just so we don’t get labelled the difficult one.
All that emotional labour isn’t invisible to us—it’s daily life. Many men don’t realise how much energy goes into just making sure we’re not seen as aggressive or unfriendly, even when we’re just trying to mind our own business.
3. Constantly walking the tightrope between ‘too much’ and ‘not enough’
If we speak up, we’re loud. If we don’t, we’re weak. If we care about our appearance, we’re shallow. If we don’t, we’ve let ourselves go. It never ends. We’re always balancing people’s opinions like it’s part of the job. Men often don’t face this same double-bind. They’re not constantly editing themselves to be likeable and assertive and humble all at once. That pressure isn’t imaginary—it’s baked into how the world responds to us.
4. Having our pain or symptoms brushed off as ‘overreacting’
Whether it’s endometriosis, heart attack symptoms, or just chronic pain, women are often not believed right away. We’re told to wait it out, calm down, or that it’s probably just stress. It’s maddening to know that our pain might not be taken seriously unless we fight to prove it’s real.
That kind of medical gaslighting isn’t rare—it’s everywhere. However, because men don’t experience it themselves, they sometimes don’t realise how ingrained and damaging it really is. We’re not being sensitive; we’re just tired of being dismissed.
5. Being interrupted or talked over like it’s nothing
It’s such a common thing in meetings, conversations, or group settings—starting to speak and getting talked over mid-sentence. Then watching your exact idea get praised when a man repeats it 10 minutes later. It’s not subtle, and it’s not rare. That doesn’t mean every guy is doing it on purpose, but many don’t notice it’s happening at all. It’s just how they’re used to conversations flowing. Meanwhile, we’re left trying to find the least “emotional” way to get a word in.
6. Knowing our appearance affects how seriously we’re taken
Whether we want to or not, we have to think about how we look. Not out of vanity, but because it literally changes how people treat us. Too dressed up? We’re vain. Too casual? We’re lazy. It’s a lose-lose game. Most men don’t have to make these same calculations. They can roll out of bed, throw on a shirt, and no one questions their competence. For women, it can impact credibility, confidence, and even safety. It’s never just about style.
7. Carrying the mental load for everything, all the time
Planning, remembering, organising, noticing—women often carry the invisible weight of making everything run smoothly. From birthdays to grocery lists to emotional check-ins, the responsibility is constant, even when we’re not the only adult in the house. Men might genuinely think they’re being helpful by ‘pitching in,’ but it’s not about helping; it’s about sharing the default responsibility. When we have to ask, remind, or manage someone else’s effort, it’s not equal. It’s management.
8. Getting called emotional when we show completely valid feelings
Speak with passion? We’re hysterical. Cry when overwhelmed? We’re unstable. Show anger? We’re scary. Meanwhile, a man doing the same things is just “being direct” or “having a bad day.” There’s such a clear double standard. It makes it hard to express anything without second-guessing how it’ll be received. We don’t want special treatment. We just want the same room to be human without being written off or talked down to.
9. Having to think about what we wear just to avoid harassment
It’s not just about style—it’s strategy. We think about routes, layers, how much skin is showing, and whether it’s worth the risk of getting comments or worse. We shouldn’t have to do all that mental gymnastics just to go outside. Men often don’t understand the way this kind of self-monitoring shapes our choices. It’s not about control; it’s about survival. And when that’s your daily normal, it’s hard not to get tired of explaining it.
10. Being told we’re overthinking when we’re actually being realistic
Locking the door twice, sending a “home safe” text, holding keys a certain way—these aren’t dramatic habits. They’re realistic ones based on things we’ve seen, heard, or lived through. Being aware isn’t the same as being paranoid. It’s easy to dismiss this stuff when you haven’t had to think about it before. However, we don’t do it for fun—we do it because we’ve had to. It’s not anxious overthinking. It’s lived experience.
11. Being pressured to be nurturing, even when we’re drained.
Whether it’s in relationships, work, or even friendships, there’s this silent expectation that women will do the emotional heavy lifting. We’re supposed to notice who’s struggling, fix conflicts, soothe egos, and check in on everyone else. However, that role gets exhausting, especially when it’s just expected without acknowledgment. We want to care, but not at the cost of being the only ones ever doing it. Emotional labour shouldn’t be a default setting based on gender.
12. Having our ambitions questioned in a way men’s aren’t
When we aim high or want more, we get asked if we’re being realistic. If we plan around our goals instead of relationships, we’re called selfish. Meanwhile, men with the same drive get praised for their focus and hustle. It’s not that we don’t want balance; it’s that we’re tired of being asked to shrink. Wanting success doesn’t make us cold or hard. It makes us human. We shouldn’t have to prove we can care and still dream big.
13. Being judged for how we parent, or whether we do at all
If we have kids, we’re either helicopter mums or not involved enough. If we don’t, people act like we’re missing a core part of being a woman. Men don’t get grilled this way—it’s just assumed they’ll figure it out or get a pass. We carry way more scrutiny about parenting choices—when, how, or if we do it at all. And that pressure? It’s heavy. We’re not all aiming for some perfect mum image. We just want space to figure out what fits us without being judged.
14. Watching our ideas get taken less seriously in male-dominated spaces
Whether it’s in meetings, creative projects, or just casual group chats—sometimes it feels like you have to work twice as hard to be heard. It’s not always obvious, but it adds up. Eye rolls, being talked over, or flat-out ignored until someone else says it louder. It’s exhausting to constantly prove you belong, especially when you’re already showing up. We’re not imagining it—it happens. We’re not looking for credit, just equal footing. That’s all.
15. Knowing that saying no can still make us feel unsafe
Saying no to a drink, a date, or even a conversation isn’t always simple. Sometimes it comes with guilt, pressure, or even fear. We’re taught to let people down gently, not because we’re overly nice, but because saying no too directly can make things escalate. Men who don’t live with that threat often can’t grasp how calculated those small moments are. We don’t want to be paranoid—we just want to be safe. And sometimes, softening a boundary is how we get home okay.
