You probably think you can stand your ground, but how often are you saying “yes” to things you really don’t have the time or inclination to do?
Wanting to make people happy or lend a helping hand is one thing, but it’s entirely another if you never turn down a request because you’re afraid of upsetting anyone or being seen as uncooperative or uncaring. Here are some signs you might be a bit of a pushover and need to focus on strengthening your backbone. It’s okay to say “no” sometimes, you know — in fact, it’s healthy!
1. Your calendar looks like everyone else’s to-do list.
Somehow, your schedule is packed with other people’s emergencies and last-minute requests. When someone says, “Could you just…?” you’re already pulling up your calendar before they finish the sentence. Instead of automatically checking your availability, try “Let me check if that works for my schedule” — and actually check if it works for you, not just if you’re free.
2. You apologise for saying no (on the rare occasion it actually happens).
The rare times you do decline something, you send a paragraph-long text explaining all your reasons why. You feel guilty for hours afterward, and might even end up saying yes anyway just to stop feeling bad. A simple “Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t this time” works just fine — no guilty explanations needed.
3. Your lunch break is everyone’s favourite meeting slot.
People know you’ll always say yes to a “quick lunch meeting,” even though it means eating your sandwich while taking notes. Your actual lunch ends up being a granola bar at 3 PM. Next time, try “I’d love to meet, but lunch is my recharge time. Could we schedule for later?”
4. You’re the office backup plan.
Whenever someone calls in sick or needs coverage, you’re the first person they contact. You’ve worked extra hours, switched shifts, and covered projects so often that it’s become expected. It’s okay to say “I’ve got plans” even if those plans are just watching Netflix in your pyjamas.
5. Your workspace is everyone’s storage space.
Somehow, your desk has become the unofficial storage spot for other people’s stuff. “Can I just leave this here for a bit?” turns into days or weeks. Setting a boundary can be as simple as, “I need to keep my workspace clear — could you find another spot for that?”
6. You’re always the group project safety net.
Team projects usually end with you pulling an all-nighter to finish what other people didn’t do. You’ve become the reliable one who’ll make sure everything gets done, no matter what. Try “Let’s clarify everyone’s responsibilities upfront” before the project even starts.
7. Your phone is always on.
Work emails at midnight? You respond. Weekend texts about Monday’s meeting? You’re there with answers. You’ve created an expectation that you’re available 24/7. Setting up auto-reply messages and actual office hours helps everyone understand when you’re really available.
8. Your “yes” comes with instant regret.
The word “yes” flies out of your mouth before your brain can catch up, and the regret hits immediately after. You spend hours thinking of ways to get out of what you just agreed to do. Practice saying “Let me think about it and get back to you” to give yourself time to decide.
9. Your boundaries are more like suggestions.
You set limits, but they’re easily pushed aside when someone pushes back even a little. “I know you said you’re busy, but this will just take a minute” somehow works every time. Stick with “Thanks for understanding that I’m not available right now” — no need to defend your boundaries.
10. Your go-to phrase is “it’s fine.”
Someone shows up 30 minutes late? “It’s fine.” They completely change the project deadline? “It’s fine.” Your time and efforts get taken for granted because you’ve trained everyone that everything is always fine. Sometimes things aren’t fine, and it’s okay to say so.
11. You’re everyone’s emergency contact.
Friends, family, and coworkers all know you’ll drop everything to help in a crisis — even if their “crisis” is just needing a ride to get coffee. Save your emergency response for actual emergencies with “Unless something’s on fire, can we plan this for another time?”
12. Your hobbies take a back seat to helping people.
That yoga class you paid for? Missed it to help someone move. Your reading time? Interrupted by a friend’s relationship drama. Your own interests keep getting pushed aside for other people’s needs. Schedule your me-time like any other important appointment — because it is one.
13. You’re the forever mediator.
Whenever there’s office drama or friend group tension, you’re the one trying to keep the peace. You end up carrying everyone else’s emotional baggage while your own feelings get ignored. It’s okay to say, “I need to step back from this situation.”
14. Your wallet is always open.
Somehow you’re always the one spotting cash for lunch, buying group gifts, or lending money that never gets paid back. Your generosity has become everyone’s ATM. Practice saying “I need to stick to my budget this time” — your bank account will thank you.
15. You’re the human Google Calendar.
Everyone relies on you to remember important dates, coordinate events, and keep track of details. You’ve become the default planner for everything from work projects to social gatherings. Share the load with “Could you take point on organising this one?”
16. Your needs come last.
By the time you’ve helped everyone else, you’re too tired to do what you need to do. Your own deadlines, goals, and self-care routinely get sacrificed for other people’s priorities. Start asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” before automatically saying yes to everyone.
