Our phones are basically extensions of ourselves at this point, but having the ability to communicate instantaneously with the people in our lives isn’t always a good thing.
Texting is the quickest and easiest way to get in touch with people, but it often requires a bit of shorthand, which can come off as dismissive, or it leaves room for misinterpretation and misunderstandings. Have you sent or received any of these texts? Chance are, the answer is yes, and they’re not great.
1. “K.”
There’s no way anyone can send this and claim that they’re in a good mood. When someone sends someone a simple “k.” (especially when you put the full stop at the end!), they’re clearly in a mood. That leaves it up to the recipient to figure out what on earth is going on and how they can dissolve the tension that’s clearly there.
2. “We need to talk.”
Source: Unsplash It’s insane how much anxiety four words can cause, but this is one of the most toxic texts anyone could ever send or receive. If you need to talk to someone, wait until there’s actually time for a conversation, rather than setting the stage for a conversation without any context as to what’s going on. Anyone who sends this clearly wants to get the other person up in arms, or they wouldn’t bother.
3. “I’m fine.”
Source: Unsplash Again, the full stop makes this even worse, and it makes it clear that the sender is anything but fine. It’s a classic example of passive-aggressive communication, where the person sending this message obviously wants the person they’re sending it to to have to decipher what’s wrong and how they can fix it. No, thanks!
4. “Why aren’t you responding? I can see you’re online.”
Source: Unsplash People have lives and don’t have to be communicating all the time, and this message complete disregard’s the recipient’s right to their own time and space. It can come across as clingy or controlling, putting unnecessary pressure on the other person to be constantly available. Everyone deserves time to themselves without feeling obligated to respond immediately.
5. “I guess I’ll just do it myself then.”
Source: Unsplash This passive-aggressive text is often sent when someone feels their requests for help have been ignored. Instead of directly asking for help again or saying outright that they’re disappointed or frustrated, they want to guilt-trip the other person for not jumping to their aid. How immature is that?
6. “You always/never…”
Source: Unsplash Absolute statements like these are rarely accurate and can make the recipient feel attacked or misunderstood. It’s clearly accusatory and aimed at provoking a fight, which is unfair and extremely annoying.
7. “If you really cared, you would…”
Source: Unsplash This manipulative text attempts to guilt the recipient into a specific action by questioning their feelings or commitment. It’s an unfair tactic that can make the other person feel inadequate or trapped. People don’t owe you anything besides kindness, courtesy, and respect when they love you.
8. “I’m just being honest.”
Source: Unsplash Often used as a follow-up to a hurtful comment, anyone who sends this text isn’t interested in taking responsibility for their actions, nor do they want any more discussion (i.e. the recipient calling them out for their actions). True honesty involves tact and consideration for other people’s feelings.
9. “You’re overreacting.”
Source: Unsplash This dismissive text invalidates the recipient’s feelings and experiences. It can make them feel unheard and misunderstood, which isn’t great. Instead of dismissing someone’s reactions, it’s more constructive to try to understand their perspective.
10. “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
Source: Unsplash This is something your parents probably used to say to you when you’re younger — there’s absolutely no reason a friend, partner, or colleague should be texting you this under any circumstances. You’re not a child, and they’re not your superior. If I got this text, I’d shut my phone off and not even bother to engage any further, frankly!
11. “Whatever.”
Source: Unsplash Anyone who texts “whatever” to someone is clearly immature and doesn’t know how to express themselves with any level of intelligence. No one has to like something someone else did or said, but this doesn’t do anything but make it seem like the sender is having a temper tantrum.
12. “I’m busy. Can’t talk now.”
Source: Unsplash If someone is legitimately busy and can’t chat, that’s fine — leave the text until later to respond. Telling someone that you’re “busy” when you took the time to type that response seems counterproductive, especially since this often comes after the recipient brought up something they wanted to talk about that the sender didn’t.
13. “You’re just like your mother/father.”
Source: Unsplash This text, often sent in the heat of an argument, is particularly hurtful if the recipient has a complicated relationship with their parent. It’s a low blow that brings family dynamics into personal conflicts and rarely contributes to resolving the actual issue at hand.
14. “I told you so.”
Source: Unsplash While it might be tempting to point out that you were right, this phrase rarely helps any situation. It can come across as smug and unsupportive, especially if the other person is already dealing with the consequences of their decision. Offering support is usually more beneficial than gloating.
15. “If you don’t respond, I’ll assume…”
Source: Unsplash This ultimatum-style text puts unfair pressure on the recipient to respond, even if they’re not ready or able to. It disregards their right to take time to think or their potential inability to respond immediately. This approach can lead to hasty decisions or resentment.
