When you’re single but wish you were in a relationship, it can really start to get you down.
You feel like you have a lot to offer the world — or at least you used to feel that way! — but for some reason, you just keep striking out in the romance department. As a result, you might start to believe some things about love and yourself that just aren’t true. Here are some thoughts you’ve likely had if you’ve been on your own a little too long.
1. There must be something wrong with me.
This pervasive thought couldn’t be further from the truth. Being single doesn’t reflect on your worth or character. People remain single for various reasons, including personal choice, timing, or simply not having met the right person yet. Your relationship status doesn’t define your value or indicate any inherent flaw.
2. I’m running out of time.
The idea of a “biological clock” or societal timeline for relationships can create unnecessary pressure. In reality, there’s no universal deadline for finding love. Many people find fulfilling relationships later in life, and some choose to remain happily single. Your life’s journey is unique, and it’s never too late for love or personal growth.
3. All the good ones are taken.
This pessimistic view limits your perspective and opportunities. New people enter the dating pool constantly for various reasons. Moreover, what makes someone “good” is subjective and evolves with time. Keeping an open mind can lead to surprising and delightful connections you might have otherwise overlooked.
4. I’ll always be alone.
Feeling lonely in the present doesn’t mean you’re destined for eternal solitude. Relationships, both romantic and platonic, can form at any stage of life. Focus on building a fulfilling life and nurturing existing connections. This positive approach often naturally leads to new relationships and opportunities for companionship.
5. My life is on hold until I find someone.
Waiting to start living fully until you’re in a relationship is a recipe for regret. Your life is happening now, and it’s valuable regardless of your relationship status. Pursue your passions, set goals, and create the life you want. A fulfilling life is attractive and can lead to meaningful connections.
6. Being single means I’m a failure.
Success in life isn’t measured by relationship status. Many single people lead incredibly successful, impactful lives. Your achievements, personal growth, and contributions to the world are what truly define success. Being single can provide the freedom and focus to pursue your goals and passions wholeheartedly.
7. No one will ever love me.
This thought often stems from low self-esteem rather than reality. Love comes in many forms, not just romantic partnerships. Focus on self-love and nurturing relationships with friends and family. As you cultivate a positive self-image, you’ll likely find that other people are drawn to your authentic self.
8. I’m not interesting enough to date.
Everyone has unique experiences, perspectives, and qualities that make them interesting. Instead of dwelling on perceived shortcomings, focus on developing your interests and passions. Engaging in activities you enjoy makes you more interesting and increases opportunities to meet like-minded people.
9. My friends in relationships have it all figured out.
It’s easy to idealise other people’s relationships, especially when viewing them from the outside. In reality, every relationship has its challenges, and being in a couple doesn’t automatically solve life’s problems. Your coupled friends likely face their own struggles and might even envy aspects of your single life.
10. I need to lower my standards.
While it’s important to have realistic expectations, compromising on core values or settling for an unfulfilling relationship out of fear of being alone is rarely a good idea. Maintain standards that align with your values and needs. It’s better to be happily single than unhappily paired.
11. My life lacks meaning without a partner.
Source: Unsplash A romantic partner can add joy to life, but they don’t provide life’s sole meaning. Meaning comes from various sources: personal achievements, friendships, family, career, hobbies, and personal growth. Cultivate a rich, multifaceted life that brings you fulfilment, with or without a romantic relationship.
12. I’m missing out on life’s best experiences.
Source: Unsplash While some experiences are traditionally associated with couples, being single opens doors to unique opportunities. You have the freedom to travel spontaneously, focus intensely on personal goals, or build deep friendships. Many of life’s best experiences are available to everyone, regardless of relationship status.
13. My worth is determined by my attractiveness to other people.
Your value isn’t determined by how many people find you attractive or want to date you. True worth comes from your character, actions, and the positive impact you have on the world around you. Focus on developing qualities that make you proud of yourself, rather than looking for validation through other people’s attraction.
14. I can’t be truly happy while single.
Source: Unsplash Happiness is an internal state, not dependent on relationship status. Many single people lead joyful, fulfilling lives. Cultivate happiness through self-care, pursuing passions, and nurturing meaningful relationships of all kinds. A positive outlook can make single life a period of growth and contentment.
15. Being single means I’m selfish.
Source: Unsplash Choosing to be single or not actively pursuing a relationship doesn’t make you selfish. It can be a thoughtful decision to focus on personal growth, career, or other priorities. Single people often have more time and energy to devote to friends, family, and community, which can be incredibly selfless.
16. My single status reflects poorly on my family.
In some cultures, being single might be seen as reflecting on family honour or success. However, your relationship status is a personal matter and doesn’t diminish your family’s worth. Progressive societies increasingly recognise diverse life choices, including remaining single, as valid and respectable paths.
