At some point, we all end up agreeing to things we don’t really want to do, or get caught up in situations we’d rather avoid.
Whether it’s because we want to avoid drama or make people happy, or we just lack assertiveness, it’s far too easy to fall into the trap of saying yes when you really mean no. However, doing these things often leads to a lot of unhappiness and resentment, which just isn’t worth it. Strengthen your backbone and learn to say no to these things — you’ll be a lot better off.
1. Lending money to unreliable friends or family
You might find it hard to say no when a loved one asks for some extra cash, even if they have a history of not paying you back. You don’t want to leave them in the lurch or see them struggling, so you’re inclined to hand over the money, even if you don’t exactly have an excess of it yourself.
2. Covering for someone else’s mistakes at work
A colleague messes up a project or misses a deadline, and you end up taking the blame or doing their work to avoid conflict or protect their job. You don’t want to rock the boat or make them look bad, so you take on the extra stress and work while the colleague in question happily carries on, consequence-free.
3. Babysitting or pet sitting at the last minute
A friend or neighbour asks you to watch their kids or pets with little notice, and you agree even though you have other plans or commitments. You want to be helpful and stay on good terms with them, so you sacrifice your own time and priorities, which inevitably causes resentment and a lot of inconveniences for yourself.
4. Hosting events or gatherings you don’t want to host
Source: Unsplash You somehow end up hosting a party or family gathering even though you’re not keen on the idea, simply because you feel obligated or pressured. You don’t want to disappoint everyone or feel like you’re a party pooper, so you take on this stressful and unwanted responsibility to make everyone else happy.
5. Giving rides to people who take advantage of your generosity
Somehow, you become the designated driver for friends or acquaintances who consistently rely on you for transportation, even if it inconveniences you or disrupts your own plans. You don’t want to say no or make it harder for them to get where they need to go, so you end up becoming a free taxi service.
6. Doing favours for people who never reciprocate
You find yourself constantly helping out a friend or neighbour who never returns the favour or expresses gratitude. You do this because you want to be liked and you don’t want to seem selfish, so you keep up this one-sided arrangement, much to your own detriment.
7. Getting involved in multi-level marketing schemes or pyramid schemes
You might be persuaded to join an MLM or pyramid scheme by a friend or acquaintance who promises easy money and financial freedom. You trust people and you’d like to enjoy a bit of quick success, so you hand over time and money to ventures that are likely to fail, causing yourself a lot of stress and maybe even some financial struggles.
8. Joining committees or volunteer groups you don’t have time for
For some reason, you agree to join a committee or volunteer group because you feel pressured or obligated, even though you’re already stretched thin. You don’t want to come off as unhelpful or uncaring, so you take on additional responsibilities to seem altruistic, even though it drains your energy and makes you even more stressed.
9. Buying things you don’t need from pushy salespeople
A persuasive salesperson might convince you to buy something you don’t need or can’t afford, playing on your emotions or your desire to please. Because you struggle to say no or find it hard to be assertive, they get one over on you and you end up making impulsive purchases that you later regret.
10. Getting caught up in drama or gossip you want no part of
You often find yourself drawn into conflicts or gossip among friends or colleagues, even though you prefer to stay out of it. This is because you want to fit in and don’t want to feel excluded (or be the one they’re talking about when you’re not around). As a result, you get pulled into unnecessary drama.
11. Agreeing to go on dates with people you’re not interested in
You agree to go on a date with someone you’re not attracted to or compatible with, simply because you feel bad or don’t want to hurt their feelings. You’re afraid of confrontation and want the person to think you’re nice (even though you’ll probably never talk to them again), so you waste your time and energy — and theirs — on a date that’s going nowhere.
12. Taking on extra work or projects to impress your boss or colleagues
You volunteer for additional tasks or projects, even if it means sacrificing your personal time or neglecting other responsibilities. Your desire for recognition or your fear of appearing lazy makes you overwork yourself and as a result, you often experience burnout.
13. Attending social events you don’t enjoy
You find yourself going to parties or gatherings you’re not interested in, simply because you feel obligated or pressured to attend. Your fear of missing out or your desire to please people finds you spending time in uncomfortable or unenjoyable situations that you’d really rather give a miss.
14. Staying in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships
You sometimes stay in relationships that are no longer serving you, whether they’re romantic partnerships, a friendship, or a family connection. Your fear of being alone or your aversion to conflict often means staying in a situation that’s really not good for you.
15. Signing up for subscriptions or services you don’t need
A persuasive salesperson or a tempting free trial might get you to sign up for a subscription or service you don’t really need or want. You waste money because you don’t want to say no or seem combative, even though you’re under no obligation whatsoever to say yes.
16. Following trends or fads you’re not genuinely interested in
Source: Unsplash You might find yourself adopting certain trends or fads, even if they don’t align with your personal style or interests. Your desire to fit in or your fear of being left out sees you doing things or adopting behaviours that don’t feel authentic to you, and that’s a real shame.
