Micro-cheating is that not-so grey area between being faithful and full-blown infidelity.
On the surface, the behaviour seems harmless enough, but it can actually eat away at the trust in a relationship and even destroy it altogether if you’re not careful. You might think you’re just being friendly, but if you’re doing any of these things, you might be guilty of micro-cheating without even realising it.
1. You regularly like and comment on someone else’s social media posts.
Source: Unsplash A casual like here and there is harmless, but if you’re constantly showering one particular person’s posts with hearts and fire emojis, it might raise some eyebrows. Especially if your comments are overly flirty or suggestive. It’s all about intention and how it makes your partner feel.
2. You have secret conversations or inside jokes with someone else.
Sharing private jokes or having conversations you wouldn’t want your partner to see can create a sense of intimacy and emotional connection with someone outside your relationship. You’re building a little world that excludes your partner, and that can be a slippery slope.
3. You downplay your relationship status or hide your partner from other people.
If you’re constantly referring to your partner as a “friend” or avoiding introducing them to people you meet, it might be a sign that you’re not fully committed to the relationship. By doing this, you’re keeping a part of your life hidden, which can create mistrust and insecurity.
4. You compare your partner to someone else, especially in a negative light.
Comparing your partner to an ex or someone you find attractive can be incredibly hurtful and damaging to their self-esteem. In many ways, you’re saying they’re not good enough, and that’s definitely not a healthy dynamic in a relationship.
5. You confide in someone else about your relationship problems instead of your partner.
While it’s important to have friends and confidantes, discussing your relationship issues with someone else before addressing them with your partner can create distance and destroy trust. You’re looking for validation or emotional support from someone outside the relationship instead of working through things together.
6. You fantasise about being with someone else or have emotional affairs.
Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones. If you’re constantly thinking about someone else, sharing intimate details of your life with them, or developing feelings for them, it’s a clear sign that you’re emotionally invested in someone outside your relationship.
7. You dress up or change your appearance to impress someone else.
While it’s natural to want to look your best, if you’re going out of your way to dress up or change your appearance specifically to impress someone who’s not your partner, it could be a sign of micro-cheating. It’s about intention and whether your actions are geared towards attracting someone else’s attention.
8. You go out of your way to spend time alone with someone else.
If you’re constantly making excuses to meet up with someone one-on-one, especially if it’s in secret or involves activities that are typically reserved for couples, it’s a red flag. It’s important to maintain healthy boundaries and avoid situations that could lead to temptation or emotional infidelity.
9. You flirt with someone else, even if it’s just ‘harmless’ banter.
Flirting with someone outside your relationship, even if it’s just playful banter, can be a form of micro-cheating. It can create a sense of emotional intimacy and blur the lines between friendship and something more. It’s important to be mindful of your interactions and avoid behaviours that could make your partner feel uncomfortable or insecure.
10. You keep secrets from your partner about your interactions with someone else.
If you’re hiding texts, calls, or meetings with someone else from your partner, it’s a major red flag. Honesty and transparency are crucial in any healthy relationship. If you feel the need to keep secrets, it’s worth examining why and addressing any underlying issues in your relationship.
11. You get defensive or angry when your partner expresses concerns about your behaviour.
If your partner voices concerns about your interactions with someone else, and you react defensively or angrily, it could be a sign that you’re aware of your micro-cheating behaviour and feeling guilty. Instead of getting defensive, try to have an open and honest conversation about your partner’s feelings and work together to establish healthy boundaries.
12. You prioritise someone else’s needs or feelings over your partner’s.
If you’re constantly going out of your way to accommodate someone else’s schedule or needs, even if it means neglecting your partner or cancelling plans with them, it’s a sign that your priorities might be misplaced. It’s important to balance your relationships and ensure that your partner feels valued and appreciated.
13. You seek emotional validation or attention from someone else.
If you’re turning to someone outside your relationship for emotional support, validation, or attention that you’re not getting from your partner, it’s a sign that something’s amiss in your relationship. Addressing these underlying issues with your partner is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling connection.
14. You develop a ‘special’ connection or bond with someone else.
If you feel like you have a unique connection or understanding with someone outside your relationship, it could be a sign of emotional infidelity. It’s important to nurture the connection with your partner and don’t form overly close bonds with other people.
15. You find yourself constantly thinking about someone else or comparing them to your partner.
If someone else is constantly on your mind, and you find yourself comparing them to your partner in terms of looks, personality, or achievements, it’s a sign that you might be emotionally invested in someone outside your relationship. It’s important to address these thoughts and feelings honestly and work on strengthening your connection with your partner.
16. You feel guilty or ashamed of your interactions with someone else.
If you feel a sense of guilt or shame about your interactions with someone else, it’s likely a sign that you’re crossing boundaries and engaging in micro-cheating behaviour. Trust your gut and address these feelings with your partner. Open and honest communication is key to resolving any issues and rebuilding trust.
