Childhood is meant to be a playful, carefree time, but that’s sadly not everyone’s experience.
Growing up in a stressful environment can leave a lasting impact on the kind of adult you become. While you’re not responsible for the upbringing you had, and nothing that happened in your life was your own fault, it’s important to be aware of the ways in which your stressful childhood still impacts you today.
1. You have a heightened sense of alertness and hypervigilance.
Growing up in a stressful environment can put your nervous system on high alert. As an adult, you might find yourself constantly scanning your surroundings for potential threats, even when there’s no real danger present. This hypervigilance can manifest as difficulty relaxing, trouble sleeping, or a tendency to overreact to minor stressors.
2. You can’t bring yourself to trust or get close to people.
When your childhood environment is unpredictable or unsafe, it can be difficult to learn to trust people. As an adult, you might find it hard to open up to people, let your guard down, or believe that people have your best interests at heart. This can lead to difficulty forming close relationships and a tendency to isolate yourself.
3. You’re prone to anxiety and worry.
Stressful experiences during childhood can increase your risk of developing anxiety disorders as an adult. You might worry excessively about things that are out of your control, have difficulty relaxing, or experience physical symptoms of anxiety, such as a racing heart or difficulty breathing. It’s important to recognise these signs and ask for help if you need it.
4. Your feelings often get the better of you and you feel out of control.
Growing up in a stressful environment can disrupt the development of healthy emotional regulation skills. As an adult, you might find it hard to manage your emotions, especially intense ones like anger, sadness, or fear. This can lead to outbursts, emotional withdrawal, or unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse.
5. You have a negative self-image and low self-esteem.
If you grew up in an environment where you were constantly criticised, neglected, or abused, it can leave you with a negative self-image and low self-esteem. As an adult, you might struggle to believe in yourself, your abilities, or your worthiness of love and happiness. It’s important to challenge these negative beliefs and develop a more positive self-image.
6. You’re a perfectionist and have high expectations of yourself and other people.
In some stressful environments, children learn that they need to be perfect to avoid criticism or punishment. As adults, they might carry this perfectionism into their personal and professional lives, setting unrealistic standards for themselves and other people. This can lead to stress, burnout, and difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
7. You don’t know how to set boundaries and say no.
Growing up in a stressful environment might have taught you that your needs are secondary other people’s. As an adult, you might have difficulty setting boundaries, saying no, or asserting your own needs. This can lead to resentment, burnout, and feelings of being taken advantage of.
8. You blame yourself for everything and take on too much responsibility.
Children who grow up in stressful environments often internalise the message that they’re responsible for the problems around them. As adults, they might continue to blame themselves for things that are out of their control or take on too much responsibility for other people. This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and overwhelm.
9. You struggle with decision-making and are scared of making the wrong choice.
Source: Unsplash In stressful environments, decisions often have immediate and significant consequences. This can lead to a fear of making mistakes and a tendency to overthink decisions. As an adult, you might struggle to make choices, even small ones, or second-guess yourself constantly.
10. You have a hard time relaxing and enjoying the present moment.
Source: Unsplash Growing up in a stressful environment can make it difficult to relax and enjoy the present moment. You might always be anticipating the next crisis or worrying about what could go wrong. This can lead to difficulty sleeping, chronic stress, and an inability to fully appreciate the good things in your life.
11. You’re prone to burnout and exhaustion.
The constant state of stress and alertness that comes with growing up in a stressful environment can take a toll on your physical and mental health. As an adult, you might find yourself burning out quickly, feeling exhausted all the time, or experiencing physical symptoms like headaches or digestive problems.
12. You struggle to ask for help (or accept it when it’s offered).
In stressful environments, asking for help could be seen as a sign of weakness or a burden on people. This can lead to a reluctance to get help or accept support as an adult. However, it’s important to remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, and there are people who care about you and want to support you.
13. You isolate yourself a lot and withdraw from social situations.
Stressful childhood experiences can make it difficult to feel safe and secure in social situations. As an adult, you might prefer to be alone or have a small circle of trusted friends. While it’s important to have alone time, isolating yourself completely can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.
14. You’re sensitive to criticism and conflict.
If you grew up in an environment where you were often scapegoated, you might be particularly sensitive to feedback or conflict as an adult. You may take things personally, feel easily hurt, or avoid situations where you could be criticised. It’s important to learn to differentiate between constructive feedback and personal attacks, and develop healthy ways of dealing with conflict.
15. You’re overly self-critical and can’t accept compliments.
Growing up in a stressful environment can lead to internalised negative self-talk and a tendency to focus on your flaws and shortcomings. As an adult, you may be overly critical of yourself, have difficulty accepting compliments, or downplay your achievements. It’s important to challenge these negative thoughts and develop a more positive and accepting attitude towards yourself.
16. You’re drawn to drama and chaos in your relationships.
If you grew up in a chaotic or dramatic environment, you might unconsciously be drawn to similar dynamics in your adult relationships. You could be attracted to partners or friends who are unpredictable, emotionally volatile, or prone to drama and conflict. This can be a way of recreating familiar patterns, even if they’re not healthy or fulfilling.
