You would think it’d be pretty obvious if someone didn’t like you, but that’s not always the case.
There can be any number of reasons that the person isn’t being more open about their disdain for you, and it happens more than you think. However, if someone uses these phrases regularly when talking to, chances are, they’re not your biggest fan.
1. “I’m just being honest.”
You’ll usually hear this right before they dish out a backhanded compliment or a thinly veiled insult. It’s a way of disguising criticism as constructive feedback. While honesty is important, using it as a weapon to hurt someone’s feelings is not cool. If someone constantly uses this phrase before saying something hurtful, it might be a sign that they’re not a fan.
2. “You always…” or “You never…”
These absolute statements are rarely accurate and often used to paint someone in a negative light. They can make you feel like you’re constantly doing something wrong or that your efforts are never appreciated. If someone frequently uses these phrases, it suggests they’re hyper-focused on your flaws and not willing to see the good in you.
3. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but…”
This is a classic way of disagreeing without actually saying it. It’s a passive-aggressive tactic that undermines your opinion while maintaining a facade of politeness. Anyone who says this doesn’t respect your viewpoint and are more interested in asserting their own dominance.
4. “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
Similar to the previous phrase, this one is often followed by a hurtful comment or a personal attack. It’s a way of softening the blow, but the underlying message is still one of disrespect. If someone frequently uses this disclaimer before saying something unkind, it’s a red flag that they’re not genuinely concerned about your feelings.
5. “I’m just kidding.”
This phrase is often used to excuse hurtful jokes or insensitive remarks. While humour is a great way to bond with people, using it to belittle or mock someone is not okay. If someone constantly uses this excuse to justify their hurtful behaviour, it’s a sign that they’re not being considerate of your feelings.
6. “Whatever.”
This one-word response can be incredibly dismissive and invalidating. It shuts down conversation, dismisses your opinion, and shows a lack of interest in what you have to say. If someone frequently uses this word in response to your thoughts or feelings, it’s a clear sign that they don’t value your input or care about your perspective.
7. “You’re too sensitive.”
This is often used to invalidate someone’s emotions and make them feel like they’re overreacting. It’s a way of shifting blame and avoiding responsibility for one’s hurtful actions. If someone frequently accuses you of being too sensitive, it’s a sign that they’re not empathetic to your feelings and don’t want to acknowledge the impact of their words or behaviour.
8. “You’re so dramatic.”
This is similar to “you’re too sensitive” in that it’s used to dismiss someone’s emotions and make them feel like they’re being unreasonable. It’s often used to shut down conversations about difficult topics or to avoid dealing with conflict. If someone constantly accuses you of being dramatic, it’s a sign that they’re not willing to engage with your feelings in a meaningful way.
9. “I’m just not used to people like you.”
This is typically a great way to create distance and emphasise differences. It can be a way of subtly suggesting that you’re not their type or that they don’t fit in with your crowd. If someone frequently uses this phrase, it’s a sign that they’re not interested in getting to know you better or building a genuine connection.
10. “You wouldn’t understand.”
This is incredibly condescending and dismissive. It suggests that you’re not intelligent or experienced enough to grasp their perspective. It’s a way of shutting down conversation and invalidating your feelings. Anyone who says this often is sending a clear message that they don’t respect you or value your opinion.
11. “I’m too busy for this.”
While everyone gets busy sometimes, constantly using this phrase to avoid spending time with you or engaging in conversation can be a sign of disinterest. It suggests that you’re not a priority in their life and that they’d rather be doing something else. If someone consistently uses this excuse, it’s worth considering whether they genuinely want to be a part of your life.
12. “I have better things to do.”
This is even more dismissive than “I’m too busy for this.” It implies that your company is not only inconvenient but also undesirable. It’s a hurtful way of saying that they don’t value your time or presence. Saying this a lot is a pretty clear sign that they don’t respect you or consider you a friend.
13. “You’re always complaining.”
This is often used to invalidate someone’s feelings and dismiss their concerns. It’s a way of shifting blame and avoiding responsibility for one’s own actions. It’s a sign that they’re not empathetic to your struggles and don’t want to be bothered with your problems.
14. “You’re so negative.”
This is similar to “you’re always complaining” in that it’s used to dismiss someone’s feelings and paint them in a negative light. It’s often used to shut down conversations about difficult topics or to avoid dealing with negativity. If someone constantly accuses you of being negative, it’s a sign that they’re not willing to engage with your emotions in a healthy way.
15. “I don’t have time for drama.”
Source: Unsplash While no one likes unnecessary drama, using this phrase to dismiss someone’s genuine emotions or concerns is not okay. It’s a way of avoiding conflict and shutting down communication. If someone says this a lot, they’re not willing to be supportive or understanding of your needs.
16. “I don’t know why you’re so upset.”
This is incredibly invalidating and dismissive. It suggests that your feelings are irrational or unjustified. It’s a way of gaslighting you and making you question your own sanity. If someone says this a lot, it’s a red flag that they’re not empathetic to your feelings and don’t care about your well-being.
