We all have our off days, but some people seem to carry a cloud of unhappiness wherever they go.
Sometimes, it doesn’t take some major tragedy to make you miserable. In fact, it’s more often the little habits, the subtle patterns of thinking and behaviour that keep you stuck in a rut. If someone does these things on a regular basis, it’s no wonder they’re miserable.
1. They’re always comparing themselves to everyone else.
Social media feeds filled with highlight reels don’t help, but the habit of measuring your life against everyone else’s is a happiness killer. There’s always someone with a seemingly better job, a more lavish holiday, or a seemingly perfect relationship. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique. Focusing on your own path and appreciating what you have is key to contentment.
2. They dwell on the negative.
Bad things happen, it’s a part of life. But unhappy people tend to get stuck in a loop of negativity, replaying past mistakes or worrying about future problems. This dwelling prevents them from enjoying the present and appreciating the good things around them. It’s important to acknowledge negative experiences, but then try to shift your focus towards solutions and positivity.
3. They hold grudges.
Forgiveness isn’t just about letting the other person off the hook; it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment. Unhappy people often cling to past hurts, refusing to let go and move on. This bitterness can poison their relationships and prevent them from experiencing joy and peace.
4. They avoid taking responsibility.
It’s easy to blame external factors for our unhappiness – bad luck, unfair circumstances, or other people’s actions. However, taking responsibility for our own lives is empowering. It means acknowledging that we have choices and can take steps to improve our situation, rather than feeling like victims of fate.
5. They’re not grateful for all the good stuff in their life.
Appreciating the good things in life, both big and small, is a powerful antidote to unhappiness. Unhappy people often overlook their blessings and focus on what’s missing. Taking time each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for can shift your perspective and cultivate a sense of contentment.
6. They neglect their passions.
Ignoring the things that make you happy is a guaranteed way to drain the colour from your life. Whether it’s a hobby, a creative pursuit, or spending time with loved ones, make time for the activities that ignite your passion. These pursuits provide a sense of purpose and fulfilment, which are crucial for overall happiness.
7. They isolate themselves.
While alone time is essential for everyone, withdrawing from social connections can be detrimental to our well-being. Humans are social creatures, and meaningful relationships provide support, laughter, and a sense of belonging. If you find yourself avoiding social interactions or pushing people away, it might be time to reconnect with loved ones or try to make new connections.
8. They resist change.
Life is full of change, and resisting it can lead to frustration and stagnation. Unhappy people often get stuck in routines and fear stepping outside their comfort zones. However, embracing change can lead to new opportunities, personal growth, and unexpected adventures.
9. They need a lot of external validation.
Unhappy people often rely on other people to boost their self-esteem. They constantly look for approval, validation, and reassurance from friends, family, or even strangers. This reliance on external validation leaves them feeling empty and vulnerable when those affirmations aren’t forthcoming. True happiness comes from within, from self-acceptance and a strong sense of self-worth.
10. They focus on what they lack, not what they have.
The grass always seems greener on the other side. Unhappy people often fixate on what’s missing in their lives – a bigger house, a better job, a more exciting relationship. This focus on lack creates a constant feeling of dissatisfaction and longing. Shifting your attention to what you already have and appreciating your blessings can cultivate a sense of gratitude and contentment.
11. They engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms.
When faced with stress or difficult emotions, unhappy people may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as excessive drinking, overeating, or substance abuse. While these behaviours might offer temporary relief, they ultimately exacerbate unhappiness and create additional problems. Finding healthy ways to cope with stress, such as exercise, meditation, or talking to a therapist, is crucial for long-term well-being.
12. They avoid facing their fears.
Fear can be paralysing, and unhappy people often avoid confronting their fears head-on. Whether it’s a fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown, running away from these fears only keeps them trapped in a cycle of anxiety and unhappiness. Facing your fears, even in small steps, can be liberating and lead to personal growth and empowerment.
13. They have a pessimistic outlook on life.
Unhappy people tend to expect the worst and see the glass as half-empty. They focus on problems rather than solutions, and they often assume that things will go wrong. This negative mindset can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, attracting more negativity into their lives. Cultivating optimism and looking for the silver lining in every situation can have a profound impact on overall happiness.
14. They don’t set boundaries or stand up for themselves.
Unhappy people often struggle to set boundaries and let people advantage of them. They might say yes when they really want to say no, or they might tolerate disrespectful behaviour for fear of conflict. Learning to set healthy boundaries and assert yourself is essential for protecting your well-being and maintaining healthy relationships.
15. They have a fixed mindset.
Source: Unsplash They believe that their abilities and intelligence are fixed traits that can’t be changed. This belief can lead to a fear of failure and a reluctance to try new things. Embracing a growth mindset, the belief that you can learn and improve through effort and dedication, can open up new possibilities and encourage a sense of resilience in the face of challenges.
16. They neglect their relationships.
Strong social connections are crucial for happiness and well-being. Unhappy people often neglect their relationships, either by withdrawing from social interactions or by taking their loved ones for granted. Investing time and energy into building and maintaining healthy relationships can provide a sense of belonging, support, and joy.
