Toxic people aren’t always the ones screaming and throwing tantrums.
Sometimes, their toxicity is subtle, like a slow-acting poison that seeps into your life without you even realising it. They might seem charming, friendly, and even supportive on the surface, but beneath that facade lies a darker side. If you feel drained, uneasy, or constantly second-guessing yourself around someone, you might be dealing with a subtly toxic person. Here are some of these sneaky behaviours that often go unnoticed.
1. They make you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells.
You’re never quite sure what version of them you’re going to get. One minute, they’re all smiles and charm, the next they’re cold and distant. This unpredictable behaviour keeps you on edge, constantly trying to anticipate their moods and avoid saying or doing anything that might set them off. It’s exhausting and creates a sense of unease in the relationship.
2. They subtly undermine your confidence.
They might not openly criticise you, but they have a way of making you doubt yourself. They might make backhanded compliments, downplay your achievements, or subtly compare you to other people in a way that makes you feel inadequate. This can chip away at your self-esteem over time, leaving you feeling insecure and unsure of yourself.
3. They constantly play the victim.
Everything is always someone else’s fault. They never take responsibility for their own actions or mistakes, always finding a way to blame other people for their problems. This victim mentality can be draining and frustrating, as it prevents them from taking ownership of their lives and working towards solutions.
4. They’re masters of passive-aggressiveness.
They rarely express their anger or frustration directly. Instead, they resort to subtle digs, sarcasm, and backhanded compliments. They might give you the silent treatment, make snide remarks, or sabotage your efforts behind your back. This passive-aggressive behaviour can be confusing and hurtful, as it’s difficult to address directly.
5. They gaslight you.
They make you question your own sanity and perceptions. They might deny saying or doing things, twist your words, or accuse you of being overly sensitive or dramatic. This gaslighting can leave you feeling confused, insecure, and unsure of what’s real and what’s not.
6. They love to gossip and spread rumours.
They thrive on drama and negativity, always eager to share the latest gossip or spread rumours about other people. They might even try to pit you against other people or create division within your social circle. This can be toxic and destructive, as it breeds mistrust and animosity.
7. They’re emotionally unavailable.
They struggle to express their emotions or connect with you on a deeper level. They might avoid intimacy, vulnerability, or meaningful conversations. This emotional distance can leave you feeling lonely, unfulfilled, and constantly craving more from the relationship.
8. They use your vulnerabilities against you.
They have a way of figuring out your weaknesses and insecurities, then using them to manipulate or control you. They might bring up past mistakes, guilt-trip you, or threaten to leave you if you don’t comply with their demands. This is manipulative and can leave you feeling trapped and powerless.
9. They make everything a competition.
They can’t just be happy for your successes or celebrate your achievements. They have to find a way to make it about them, either by bragging about their own accomplishments or subtly diminishing yours. They might even try to sabotage your efforts or undermine your confidence. This competitiveness can create a toxic dynamic where you feel like you’re constantly being measured against them.
10. They constantly chase attention and validation.
They crave the spotlight and will do anything to get it. They might exaggerate their accomplishments, fish for compliments, or create drama to draw attention to themselves. They often feel insecure and empty without constant validation from people, and this can make them emotionally draining to be around.
11. They’re experts at playing mind games.
They know how to push your buttons and manipulate your emotions. They might use guilt, jealousy, or insecurity to get what they want. They might also employ subtle tactics like giving you the silent treatment, playing hot and cold, or creating a sense of uncertainty to keep you on edge.
12. They have a superiority complex.
They believe they’re better than everyone else and aren’t afraid to show it. They might act condescending, belittle your opinions, or dismiss your feelings. This sense of superiority can be incredibly off-putting and make you feel small and insignificant.
13. They’re energy vampires.
After spending time with them, you feel drained and exhausted. They have a way of sucking the joy out of any situation and leaving you feeling emotionally depleted. They might be constantly complaining, gossiping, or creating drama, which can be a major downer for those around them.
14. They never apologise or admit fault.
They’re always right, even when they’re clearly wrong. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions or apologise for their mistakes. This lack of accountability can be frustrating and make it difficult to resolve conflicts or move forward in the relationship.
15. They make you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
You’re always worried about saying or doing the wrong thing, as you never know how they’ll react. They might be moody, unpredictable, or easily offended. This constant anxiety and fear of upsetting them can make you feel drained and emotionally exhausted.
16. They isolate you from your friends and family.
They might make negative comments about your loved ones, discourage you from spending time with them, or try to create distance between you and your support system. This isolation can make you more dependent on them and more vulnerable to their manipulation.
