Sometimes, the people around us may not have our best interests at heart.
They might secretly hope for our failure, often due to their own insecurities or jealousies. These people often reveal their true feelings through subtle comments or behaviours. Here are 20 things people who secretly hope you’ll fail might say. Try not to roll your eyes too hard!
1. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
This question, while seemingly concerned, can be a way to plant seeds of doubt in your mind. They’re subtly suggesting you might not be prepared, hoping to shake your confidence. A supportive person would offer encouragement or specific help if they had genuine concerns about your readiness.
2. “I’m just being realistic.”
When someone consistently frames their negative comments as “realism,” they might be trying to discourage you under the guise of pragmatism. True friends can offer balanced perspectives without constantly emphasising potential failures or setbacks.
3. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
While this might sound like they’re protecting you from disappointment, it can be a way of tempering your enthusiasm and undermining your confidence. People who genuinely support you will help you maintain a balance of optimism and practicality without trying to dampen your spirits.
4. “You know that’s really competitive, right?”
Highlighting the difficulty of your goals without offering encouragement or support can be a subtle way of discouraging you. Supportive people will acknowledge challenges but focus on strategies to overcome them.
5. “I knew someone who tried that and failed.”
Sharing stories of other people’s failures, especially without context, can be a way to instil fear and doubt. It’s important to remember that someone else’s failure doesn’t predict your outcome.
6. “You’ve changed since you started this.”
This comment, often delivered with a disapproving tone, can be an attempt to make you feel guilty about your growth or success. People who truly care about you will celebrate your positive changes and growth.
7. “Don’t you think you’re taking on too much?”
While this could be a genuine concern, when it’s repeatedly expressed without offering help or support, it might be an attempt to overwhelm you and make you doubt your capabilities.
8. “I wouldn’t do it that way if I were you.”
Source: Unsplash Constant criticism of your methods, especially without constructive alternatives, can be a way to undermine your confidence and decision-making skills. Supportive people will offer suggestions respectfully and understand that different approaches can be valid.
9. “You’re so lucky.”
Attributing your success solely to luck dismisses your hard work and talent. It can be a way for people to make themselves feel better about their own lack of achievement while diminishing your efforts.
10. “Don’t get too confident.”
This phrase, often disguised as advice, can be an attempt to keep you from feeling too sure of yourself. Confidence is crucial for success, and those who support you will encourage it rather than try to temper it.
11. “I’m surprised you’re doing so well.”
This backhanded compliment implies they had low expectations of you. It’s a way of expressing their disbelief in your abilities while seemingly offering praise.
12. “Are you sure you want to risk everything?”
Framing your endeavours as risky gambles rather than calculated steps toward your goals can be a way to increase your anxiety and self-doubt. Supportive people will help you assess risks realistically without exaggerating the potential for loss.
13. “Don’t forget where you came from.”
While this can be well-intentioned, it’s sometimes used to make you feel guilty about your progress or success. It can be a subtle way of trying to hold you back or keep you from outgrowing certain relationships.
14. “I’m just playing devil’s advocate.”
Constantly presenting counterarguments to your ideas or plans, especially without balancing it with support, can be a way to sow doubt and frustration. While considering different perspectives is valuable, someone who always takes the opposing view might be trying to discourage you.
15. “You know this probably won’t work out, right?”
This direct statement of doubt can be incredibly discouraging. People who genuinely care about your success might express concerns, but they’ll do so constructively and offer support in finding solutions.
16. “I don’t want you to be disappointed if it doesn’t work out.”
While this might seem protective, it can be a way of preparing you for failure rather than success. It subtly suggests that failure is the expected outcome.
17. “Are you sure you’re not out of your depth?”
This question implies you lack the skills or experience necessary for what you’re trying to accomplish. It can be a way to make you second-guess your capabilities and preparedness.
18. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit ambitious?”
Framing ambition as a negative trait can be a way to discourage you from setting high goals. People who support you will encourage your ambitions while helping you create realistic plans to achieve them.
19. “I’m just concerned about you.”
While this can be genuine, when it’s constantly expressed without specific, actionable concerns, it might be a way to create a general sense of anxiety or doubt about your choices.
20. “Let’s talk about something else.”
Consistently changing the subject when you talk about your goals or successes can be a subtle form of undermining. It shows a serious lack of interest or support for your goals, which over time can be discouraging.
