Cutting someone off can trigger a complex emotional journey, especially for men.
Here are some common emotional stages men typically go through when faced with this situation. Of course, a minor caveat is that everyone processes emotions differently, and these stages may not occur in this exact order or intensity for every person.
1. Shock and disbelief
Initially, many men experience a sense of shock. They might struggle to process the reality of the situation, especially if the cut-off was unexpected. This stage is characterised by thoughts like “This can’t be happening” or “There must be some mistake.” They might attempt to reach out, believing there’s been a misunderstanding.
2. Denial
Following shock, denial often sets in. Men in this stage might convince themselves that the situation is temporary or not as serious as it seems. They may downplay the significance of being cut off, telling themselves and other people that everything will return to normal soon. This denial serves as a defense mechanism against the pain of the reality.
3. Anger
Source: Unsplash As the reality begins to sink in, anger often emerges. This anger can be directed at the person who cut them off, at themselves, or even at unrelated people or situations. It might manifest as irritability, outbursts, or a general sense of frustration. This stage is a natural response to feeling hurt and powerless in the situation.
4. Bargaining
In an attempt to regain control, many men enter a bargaining phase. They might make promises to change, offer compromises, or try to negotiate their way back into the person’s life. This stage often involves attempts to communicate, sometimes excessively, in hopes of reversing the decision to cut them off.
5. Guilt
As they reflect on the situation, many men start to feel guilty. They may obsess over their past actions, wondering what they could have done differently. This guilt can be constructive if it leads to genuine self-reflection, but it can also become destructive if it turns into self-loathing.
6. Depression
When the reality of the situation fully sets in, a period of depression often follows. Men might experience feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness. They may withdraw from social activities, lose interest in hobbies, or struggle with their daily responsibilities. This stage can be particularly challenging and may require support from friends, family, or professionals.
7. Loneliness
The absence of the person who cut them off often leads to intense feelings of loneliness. Even if they have other people in their life, the specific void left by the cut-off can feel overwhelming. This loneliness might drive them to look for new relationships or rekindle old ones to fill the emptiness.
8. Reflection
As the initial intense emotions start to subside, many men enter a period of reflection. They may analyse the relationship and their own behavior more objectively. This stage can be crucial for personal growth, as it often involves recognising patterns and considering areas for self-improvement.
9. Acceptance
Gradually, acceptance of the situation begins to take hold. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re happy about being cut off, but they start to acknowledge it as reality. They may begin to focus more on moving forward rather than trying to change the past.
10. Resentment
Even as they accept the situation, many men experience periods of resentment. They might feel bitter about how things ended or angry at perceived unfairness. This resentment can come and go, often triggered by reminders of the person who cut them off or similar situations.
11. Relief
Surprisingly, some men might experience a sense of relief, especially if the relationship was tumultuous. This relief might be accompanied by guilt, but it’s a common reaction when a stressful situation ends, even if the ending itself was painful.
12. Curiosity
As time passes, curiosity about the other person’s life might set in. Men might find themselves wondering how the other person is doing or what changes have occurred in their life. This curiosity can be harmless, but it’s important that it doesn’t turn into obsession or lead to boundary violations.
13. Nostalgia
Source: Unsplash Memories of good times might resurface, leading to feelings of nostalgia. Men might romanticise the past relationship, focusing on positive aspects and temporarily forgetting the reasons for the cut-off. While nostalgia is normal, it’s important not to let it cloud judgment about the reality of the situation.
14. Personal growth
Source: Unsplash Many men use this experience as a catalyst for personal growth. They might work on self-improvement, address issues that contributed to the cut-off, or develop new interests and relationships. This stage can be very positive, turning a painful experience into an opportunity for development.
15. Moving on
Source: Unsplash Finally, most men reach a stage where they truly move on. The pain of being cut off lessens, and they’re able to focus on their present and future without being weighed down by the past. They might still think about the person occasionally, but these thoughts no longer dominate their emotional landscape.
