Denial can be a slippery slope.
It starts with a small white lie to yourself, but before you know it, you’re knee-deep in avoidance and excuses. While it might feel comforting in the moment, denial ultimately prevents you from addressing your problems and moving forward. So, how can you tell if you’re stuck in denial? Here are some warning signs.
1. You downplay or totally dismiss your problems.
Maybe you brush off your stress as “just a busy week” or your relationship troubles as “a minor bump in the road.” While it’s normal to downplay things occasionally, consistently minimising your problems can be a sign of denial. It’s a way to avoid facing the reality of the situation and the work required to address it.
2. You blame other people for your problems.
It’s easy to point fingers and blame everyone else for the bad stuff that happens in your life, but denial thrives on externalising responsibility. If you find yourself constantly blaming your partner, your boss, or even the universe for your problems, it’s time to have a closer look. While external factors can play a role, ultimately, you’re in control of your own choices and reactions.
3. You avoid talking about your problems or feelings.
Talking about our problems can be uncomfortable, but it’s a crucial step towards healing and growth. If you find yourself avoiding conversations about your struggles, changing the subject, or pretending everything is fine, it’s a sign you might be in denial. Open communication, whether it’s with a friend, therapist, or even just yourself, is essential for facing your problems head-on.
4. You use humour or sarcasm to deflect from your problems.
Humour can be a healthy coping mechanism, but it can also be a way to mask deeper issues. If you find yourself constantly cracking jokes or using sarcasm to avoid dealing with your problems, it’s a red flag. While laughter can provide temporary relief, it won’t make your problems disappear.
5. You engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb your feelings.
Whether it’s excessive drinking, overeating, or isolating yourself, unhealthy coping mechanisms can be a sign of denial. These behaviours provide temporary relief from emotional pain, but they ultimately worsen the problem in the long run. It’s important to find healthy ways to cope with your feelings, such as talking to a friend, exercising, or pursuing a hobby.
6. You make excuses or rationalise your behaviour.
We’ve all been guilty of making excuses from time to time, but when it becomes a pattern, it’s a sign of denial. If you find yourself constantly justifying your actions, rationalising your choices, or making excuses for your mistakes, it’s time to take a hard look at your behaviour. Denial thrives on self-deception, and breaking free requires honesty and self-awareness.
7. You resist change or avoid taking action.
Source: Unsplash Denial can make us feel stuck and resistant to change. If you find yourself avoiding making decisions, procrastinating on important tasks, or simply refusing to acknowledge the need for change, it’s a sign you might be in denial. Embracing change can be scary, but it’s also essential for growth and progress.
8. You compare yourself to other people and feel like you’re not doing as badly as them.
Source: Unsplash While it’s natural to compare ourselves to other people, using this as a way to justify our problems is a sign of denial. Just because someone else is struggling doesn’t mean your own problems are any less valid or important. Everyone’s experience is unique, and it’s important to focus on addressing your own issues, regardless of how they compare to other people’s.
9. You feel defensive when someone offers constructive criticism.
Feedback, even when well-intentioned, can trigger defensiveness in people who are in denial. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity for growth, you might feel attacked or misunderstood. This defensiveness can prevent you from acknowledging your shortcomings and making necessary changes.
10. You avoid situations or people that remind you of your problems.
Whether it’s a certain place, activity, or person, avoiding triggers can be a way to shield yourself from uncomfortable emotions. While it might offer temporary relief, it won’t solve the underlying issue. Facing your fears and triggers head-on is often the first step towards healing and overcoming your problems.
11. You engage in magical thinking or wishful thinking.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, we convince ourselves that things will magically get better on their own or that our problems will simply disappear. While it’s important to maintain hope, wishful thinking can be a form of denial. It’s important to take proactive steps to address your problems instead of relying on fantasy or luck.
12. You experience physical symptoms of stress or anxiety.
Denial can manifest in physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, or insomnia. These physical manifestations are often your body’s way of signalling that something is wrong. Ignoring these symptoms can lead to further health problems and make it even harder to address the underlying emotional issues.
13. You feel stuck or stagnant in your life.
Denial can prevent you from moving forward and achieving your goals. If you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, unable to make progress or create positive change, it’s worth examining whether denial is holding you back. Facing your problems head-on can open up new possibilities and allow you to move forward with your life.
14. You experience feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame.
Source: Unsplash Denial often goes hand in hand with negative emotions like guilt, shame, and self-blame. These emotions can keep you trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism, making it difficult to address your problems. Recognising and addressing these emotions is a crucial step towards breaking free from denial.
15. You feel disconnected from yourself and your emotions.
Source: Unsplash When you’re in denial, it’s easy to lose touch with your true feelings and needs. You might feel numb, detached, or emotionally distant from yourself and other people. This disconnect can make it difficult to identify and address your problems, as well as to form meaningful connections.
16. You resist seeking help or support.
Source: Unsplash Denial can make you feel like you need to handle your problems alone, even when you’re struggling. However, seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. Whether it’s talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or simply confiding in a trusted friend, reaching out for support can be a powerful tool for overcoming denial and moving forward.
