First dates can be nerve-wracking, and it’s easy to blurt out something you wish you hadn’t.
After all, you’re trying to make a good impression, but sometimes nerves get the best of us. To help you avoid those awkward moments and potential dealbreakers, here are some things you should never say on a first date, under any circumstances. These conversation landmines could have your date grabbing their coat and sprinting for the exit faster than you can say, “Check, please!”
1. “My ex was crazy.”
Talking about your ex is a major no-no on a first date. It’s not only disrespectful to your past relationship, but it also raises red flags for your date. Are you not over your ex? Are you still carrying baggage from that relationship? Plus, it’s just plain awkward and not the kind of conversation you want to have when you’re trying to get to know someone new.
2. “I hate my job.”
While venting about work frustrations can be cathartic with friends, it’s not the best topic for a first date. It can make you seem negative and pessimistic. Your date might wonder if you’re always complaining or if you’re just having a bad day. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life, like your hobbies or interests.
3. “I’m not really looking for anything serious.”
If you’re not interested in a committed relationship, that’s perfectly fine. But it’s best to be upfront about it from the start. Dropping this bombshell on a first date can feel like a bait-and-switch, and it’s not fair to your date if they’re looking for something more serious. Honesty is the best policy, even if it means your date doesn’t see a future with you.
4. “I’m really picky.”
Source: Unsplash While having standards is important, announcing that you’re picky can make you seem high-maintenance and difficult to please. It’s a turn-off for most people and can create an atmosphere of tension and judgment. Instead, focus on getting to know your date and let them discover your preferences organically.
5. “I’m broke.”
Source: Unsplash Talking about your financial struggles on a first date is a major mood killer. It can make you seem irresponsible or like you’re looking for a sugar daddy/mummy. While money is an important aspect of life, it’s not the most romantic topic to discuss over dinner. Keep the conversation light and positive, and save the financial talk for another time.
6. “My family is crazy.”
Source: Unsplash We all have our family quirks, but airing your dirty laundry on a first date is not a good look. It can make you seem like you lack loyalty and respect for your loved ones. Plus, it’s just plain awkward and uncomfortable for your date. Keep the family drama to yourself and focus on building a connection with your potential partner.
7. “I have a lot of baggage.”
Everyone has a past, but unloading all your emotional baggage on a first date is a recipe for disaster. It’s too much information, too soon, and it can make you seem unstable or needy. If you’re struggling with past trauma or unresolved issues, seek therapy or support from loved ones. Don’t burden your date with your emotional baggage before you’ve even had a chance to get to know each other.
8. “You remind me of my ex.”
This is a cringe-worthy comment that’s sure to send your date running for the hills. It’s a comparison no one wants to hear, and it suggests that you’re not over your past relationship. Focus on the present moment and get to know your date for who they are, not who they remind you of.
9. “I’m not really a relationship person.”
If you’re not open to the possibility of a relationship, be honest about it upfront. Don’t lead your date on with the pretence of wanting something more. This can save both of you time and heartache in the long run. It’s perfectly okay to be upfront about your intentions, even if it means your date decides to move on.
10. “I’m still not over my ex.”
Bringing up your ex is never a good idea on a first date, especially if you’re still hung up on them. It signals that you’re not emotionally available for a new relationship and can make your date feel like a rebound. Focus on the present and give yourself time to heal before jumping back into the dating pool.
11. “I don’t believe in [insert controversial topic].”
Source: Unsplash First dates are not the time to delve into deeply personal or controversial beliefs. Whether it’s religion, politics, or something else entirely, avoid topics that could spark heated debates or disagreements. Keep the conversation light and focused on getting to know each other on a more personal level.
12. “I’m looking for someone to take care of me.”
While everyone wants to feel supported in a relationship, announcing that you’re looking for someone to take care of you can be a major turn-off. It suggests that you’re not independent or capable of taking care of yourself, which can be a red flag for potential partners.
13. “I’m not really into [insert something your date is passionate about].”
Source: Unsplash If your date starts talking excitedly about their favourite hobby or interest, don’t immediately shut them down by saying you’re not into it. Try to show some interest and ask questions, even if it’s not your cup of tea. Being open-minded and curious can lead to interesting conversations and new experiences.
14. “I’m not really a people person.”
Source: Unsplash This might be true for some people, but saying it on a first date can make you seem antisocial or unapproachable. It also raises questions about why you’re even on a date in the first place. Instead of focusing on your dislikes, try to find common ground with your date and build a connection based on shared interests.
15. “I’m not really sure why I’m here.”
This statement is not only confusing but also insulting to your date. It suggests that you’re not interested in them or that you’re not taking the date seriously. If you’re truly unsure why you’re there, it might be best to reschedule or simply decline the invitation. Don’t waste your date’s time if you’re not genuinely interested in getting to know them.
16. “I’ve never been on a good date before.”
This might seem like an innocent comment, but it can actually set a negative tone for the entire date. It implies that you have low expectations and are perhaps even pessimistic about finding love. Instead, try to approach the date with an open mind and a positive attitude. Who knows, this could be the start of something special!
17. “I’m not really into [insert your date’s appearance].”
This is perhaps the most hurtful and disrespectful thing you could say on a first date. It’s a personal attack and a complete turn-off. Remember, everyone deserves to feel confident and attractive, and your date is no exception. Focus on their personality and inner qualities, not just their physical appearance.
