Fake people are everywhere.
They hide behind masks of politeness and social niceties, afraid to show their true selves. This article exposes 21 common phrases used by those who lack the courage to be authentic. Here’s some of the BS you’re likely to hear come out of their mouths.
1. “I’m fine.”
Source: Unsplash When someone’s clearly not fine but insists they are, they’re avoiding vulnerability. It’s easier to brush off concerns than admit to struggling. This phrase builds walls instead of bridges. Real connections require honesty about our emotional states, even when it’s uncomfortable. Next time, try sharing what’s really going on – you might be surprised by the support you receive.
2. “Let’s catch up soon!”
Source: Unsplash This empty promise is the hallmark of surface-level relationships. If you genuinely want to meet, propose a specific date and time. Otherwise, you’re just paying lip service to the idea of friendship. Real friends make actual plans and follow through. Don’t leave people hanging with vague intentions – either commit or be honest about your lack of interest.
3. “I’m just being honest.”
Source: Pexels This phrase often precedes or follows unnecessarily cruel comments. It’s a weak attempt to absolve themselves of responsibility for hurting people. True honesty comes from a place of care and consideration, not blunt force. If you need to preface your words with this disclaimer, reconsider whether you’re being honest or just mean-spirited.
4. “I don’t want to get involved.”
Source: Unsplash While it’s wise to avoid unnecessary drama, this phrase can be a cop-out when friends or colleagues need support. It’s the easy way out of difficult situations. True friends and allies step up when it matters, even if it’s uncomfortable. Consider the consequences of your inaction – sometimes staying neutral causes more harm than good.
5. “I’m not like other people.”
Source: Unsplash This statement reeks of insecurity and a need to feel special. Everyone is unique, but emphasising your supposed superiority is off-putting. Genuine individuals don’t need to constantly remind everyone of their uniqueness. Instead of trying to stand out, focus on your authentic qualities and let them speak for themselves.
6. “I’m too busy.”
Source: Unsplash While everyone has commitments, constantly claiming busyness is often an excuse to avoid things you don’t want to do. It’s a way to dodge responsibility without directly saying no. Authentic people manage their time and communicate their priorities clearly. If you can’t or don’t want to do something, be upfront about it instead of hiding behind a packed schedule.
7. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Source: Unsplash This is often said after withholding important information or lying by omission. It’s a self-serving excuse that prioritises avoiding discomfort over honesty. True consideration for other people involves being truthful, even when it’s difficult. Respecting someone means trusting them to handle the truth, not shielding them from reality.
8. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
This cliché breakup line is rarely the whole truth. It’s a way to end relationships without taking full responsibility or providing real explanations. Authentic people own their decisions and communicate their reasons clearly, even if it’s uncomfortable. Offer genuine insights into why the relationship isn’t working instead of resorting to this vague cop-out.
9. “I’m just playing devil’s advocate.”
This phrase often precedes contrarian arguments made for the sake of argument, not genuine discussion. It’s a way to voice controversial opinions without taking ownership of them. If you believe something, stand behind it. If you’re truly exploring different perspectives, frame it as a thoughtful question rather than a provocative statement.
10. “No offence, but…”
Anything following this phrase is almost guaranteed to be offensive. It’s a weak attempt to soften the blow of an insulting comment. If you feel the need to use this preface, reconsider whether your statement is necessary or constructive. Genuine communication doesn’t require disclaimers – it comes from a place of respect and consideration.
11. “I’ll try my best.”
While it sounds committed, this phrase often indicates a lack of true intention to follow through. It’s a way to appear agreeable without making a firm commitment. If you’re genuinely willing to do something, say so. If you’re unsure or unwilling, be honest about your reservations. Half-hearted promises help no one.
12. “That’s just how I am.”
This statement is often used to justify poor behaviour or refusal to grow. It’s a cop-out that avoids taking responsibility for one’s actions or attitudes. Everyone has the capacity for change and improvement. Instead of using your personality as an excuse, consider how your actions affect other people and be open to personal growth.
13. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”
If you’re saying this, you’re knowingly interrupting and choosing to do so anyway. It’s a false politeness that disregards the current speaker. If something is truly urgent, wait for a natural pause. Otherwise, practice active listening and patience. Genuine conversations involve give and take, not constantly inserting your own thoughts.
14. “I’m not judging, but…”
This phrase almost always precedes a judgmental statement. It’s an attempt to voice criticism while appearing open-minded. If you have concerns or opinions about someone’s choices, be direct about it or keep it to yourself. Cloaking judgments in false acceptance is disingenuous and often transparent.
15. “I don’t want to brag, but…”
This preface usually introduces a statement that’s entirely about bragging. It’s false modesty designed to make boasting more palatable. If you’re proud of an achievement, own it without the disclaimer. Alternatively, find a way to share your success that doesn’t come across as self-aggrandising. Authentic pride doesn’t need qualifiers.
16. “I’m not mad.”
When someone says this while clearly upset, they’re avoiding confrontation or denying their emotions. It creates a confusing disconnect between words and actions. Genuine people acknowledge their feelings, even negative ones. It’s okay to be angry or upset – expressing these emotions honestly can lead to resolution and understanding.
17. “I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
This declaration often masks deep insecurity and a strong desire for approval. It’s a defensive stance against potential criticism. Truly confident people don’t need to announce their indifference to other people’s opinions. Instead of pretending not to care, work on developing genuine self-assurance that doesn’t depend on external validation.
18. “I’m just saying…”
This phrase typically follows a controversial or hurtful statement, attempting to deflect responsibility for the comment. It’s a weak way of voicing an opinion without fully standing behind it. If you have something to say, say it directly and own the consequences. Don’t hide behind vague qualifiers that dilute your message and your integrity.
19. “It was just a joke.”
Source: Unsplash This is often used to backpedal after an offensive comment doesn’t land well. It’s a way to avoid accountability for hurtful words. Genuine humour doesn’t require explanation or excuses. If you find yourself frequently using this phrase, it’s time to re-evaluate your sense of humour and how it impacts everyone around you.
20. “I don’t want to be rude, but…”
Anything following this phrase is almost certainly rude. It’s a transparent attempt to voice criticism or make demands while maintaining a façade of politeness. If you have something to say that you think might be perceived as rude, reconsider whether it needs to be said at all. If it does, find a respectful way to communicate without the false disclaimer.
21. “It’s not personal, it’s just business.”
This phrase is often used to justify unethical or hurtful actions in professional settings. It’s a way to absolve oneself of responsibility for the human impact of business decisions. Authentic leaders recognise that business is inherently personal because it affects people’s lives. Consider the human element in your professional choices and own the consequences of your actions.
