Dating sucks for everyone, obviously, but some people have it worse than others.
Sure, you could put it down to bad luck or everyone else being THE WORST (which they kind of are sometimes), but your perpetual singlehood could actually be your own fault. If you’re guilty of the following 20 behaviours, you’re likely a big part of the reason you’re still alone.
1. You have unrealistic expectations.
We all have a vision of our ideal partner, but sometimes these expectations can be a bit too high. Maybe you’re holding out for someone who looks like a film star or has a specific career. Remember, real people have flaws and imperfections, and that’s okay. Embrace the unique qualities that make someone special, rather than focusing solely on a checklist of traits.
2. You lack confidence.
Source: Unsplash Confidence is attractive! If you’re constantly doubting yourself and your worth, it can be difficult to put yourself out there. Instead of focusing on your flaws, celebrate your strengths and what makes you unique. When you believe in yourself, other people will too.
3. You’re too picky.
There’s nothing wrong with having standards, but being overly critical of every potential partner can be a major roadblock. Give people a chance to show you who they are, even if they don’t meet all of your initial criteria. You might be surprised by who you connect with when you open your mind a little.
4. You’re afraid of vulnerability.
Source: Unsplash Building a meaningful connection with someone requires vulnerability. If you’re always putting up walls and guarding your heart, it can be difficult for someone to truly get to know you. It’s okay to be scared, but don’t let fear hold you back from experiencing the joy of a deep, meaningful relationship.
5. You’re too focused on finding “The One.”
Source: Unsplash Instead of constantly searching for the perfect partner, try to enjoy the journey of dating and getting to know different people. The pressure of finding “The One” can make dating feel like a chore rather than a fun adventure. Relax, have fun, and let love happen naturally.
6. You dwell on past relationships.
Source: Unsplash It’s natural to carry some emotional baggage from past relationships, but if you’re constantly bringing up your ex or comparing every new person to them, it can be a major turn-off. Focus on the present moment and give yourself the opportunity to create new, positive experiences with someone new.
7. You’re a negative Nancy.
Source: Unsplash No one wants to be around someone who is constantly complaining and focusing on the negative. A positive attitude can be incredibly attractive and can make you more enjoyable to be around. Try to focus on the good things in life and approach new situations with optimism.
8. You don’t take care of yourself.
Source: Unsplash Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is essential for attracting a healthy relationship. Make sure you’re eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. When you feel good about yourself, it shows, and it makes you more attractive to other people.
9. You don’t make time for dating.
Source: Unsplash If you’re always busy with work, hobbies, or other commitments, it can be difficult to carve out time for dating. But if finding a partner is important to you, you need to make it a priority. Schedule time for dates, even if it means rearranging your schedule or saying no to other things.
10. You have poor communication skills.
Source: Unsplash Communication is key in any relationship, and if you’re unable to express your thoughts and feelings clearly, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. Practice active listening, be honest and direct, and try to avoid playing games or sending mixed signals.
11. You’re too independent.
Source: Unsplash Being independent is a great quality, but sometimes it can be a bit too much in the dating world. While it’s important to have your own life and interests, it’s also important to be able to share your life with someone and make them feel valued and appreciated. Show your partner that you enjoy their company and are willing to make time for them.
12. You play games.
Source: Unsplash Playing hard to get or sending mixed signals might seem like a fun way to keep someone interested, but it can quickly become exhausting and frustrating for both parties. Be honest and straightforward about your feelings, and don’t be afraid to show your interest in someone.
13. You’re always on your phone.
Source: Unsplash In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get glued to our phones, but constantly checking social media or texting during a date can be a major turn-off. Put your phone away, engage in conversation, and show your date that you’re fully present and interested in getting to know them.
14. You don’t take initiative.
Source: Unsplash If you’re always waiting for someone else to make the first move or plan dates, it can send the message that you’re not really interested. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative and suggest activities or places to go. It shows confidence and can help to move things forward.
15. You’re stuck in a rut.
If you’re always going to the same places, doing the same things, and meeting the same types of people, it can be difficult to find someone new and exciting. Step out of your comfort zone, try new activities, and expand your social circle. You never know who you might meet when you’re open to new experiences.
16. You’re too quick to judge.
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to make snap judgments about people based on their appearance or a few initial interactions, but this can prevent you from seeing the true potential in someone. Give people a chance to show you who they are beyond first impressions, and you might be surprised by what you discover.
17. You don’t make an effort to meet new people.
If you want to find a partner, you need to put yourself out there and meet new people. This could mean joining clubs or groups, attending social events, or even trying online dating. Don’t limit yourself to your existing social circle; be open to meeting people from different backgrounds and walks of life.
18. You’re too focused on your career.
While it’s important to have a fulfilling career, it shouldn’t come at the expense of your personal life. If you’re constantly working late, travelling for business, or putting your job before everything else, it can be difficult to find time for dating and relationships. Strive for a healthy work-life balance so you can make time for love.
19. You have trust issues.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but if you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be difficult to trust someone new. While it’s important to protect yourself, don’t let past experiences prevent you from opening your heart to love again. Learn to trust your instincts, communicate openly, and build trust gradually over time.
20. You’re not being yourself.
Trying to be someone you’re not in order to impress someone else is a recipe for disaster. Be authentic, embrace your quirks, and let your true personality shine through. The right person will love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.
