Friendships are the backbone of our lives, but not all friendships are created equal.
Some are built on solid foundations, while others are a bit more shaky. If you’ve ever wondered if you’re the friend everyone secretly dreads hanging out with, here are a few signs that you might need to up your friendship game.
1. You consistently bail on plans at the last minute.
Source: Unsplash Life happens, and sometimes cancelling plans is unavoidable. But if you’re constantly flaking out on your friends, it sends a message that you don’t value their time or company. Making and breaking promises destroys trust, and pretty soon, your friends might stop inviting you altogether.
2. You’re always the one talking, never listening.
Friendships are a two-way street. If you’re constantly dominating the conversation and never taking an interest in your friends’ lives, you’re not being a good listener. People want to feel heard and understood, and if you’re not willing to lend an ear, they’ll eventually find someone who will.
3. You’re overly competitive and always have to “one-up” your friends.
A little friendly competition can be fun, but if you’re constantly trying to outdo your friends in every aspect of life, it can create tension and resentment. Genuine friendships are built on support and encouragement, not one-upmanship.
4. You’re quick to judge and offer unsolicited advice.
Everyone needs a sounding board, but nobody likes a know-it-all. If you’re constantly judging your friends’ choices or offering unsolicited advice, you’re not being a supportive friend. Sometimes, people just need to vent or share their feelings without being lectured.
5. You never offer to help out or lend a hand.
Friendships involve give and take. If you’re always taking and never giving back, you’re not holding up your end of the bargain. Whether it’s helping a friend move, offering a ride, or simply being there to listen, your willingness to pitch in shows that you care.
6. You gossip about your friends behind their backs.
Gossip is toxic and can destroy friendships faster than you can say “oops.” If you’re talking rubbish about your friends to other people, you’re not being loyal or trustworthy. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who can’t keep a secret.
7. You’re always negative and bring down the mood.
Everyone has bad days, but if you’re consistently negative and bring down the mood wherever you go, your friends might start avoiding you. Surround yourself with positive people, and try to focus on the good things in life. A little optimism can go a long way.
8. You’re constantly asking for favours, but never return the gesture.
If your friendship feels one-sided, it’s likely because you’re always the one asking for favours, whether it’s borrowing money, needing a ride, or asking for help with a project. But when it’s time for you to return the favour, you’re suddenly nowhere to be found. This behaviour is not only selfish but can also breed resentment in your friends.
9. You constantly compare your friends to each other.
It’s natural to have different types of friendships, each with its own unique dynamic. However, if you’re always comparing your friends to each other and pitting them against one another, it can create a toxic environment. Celebrate each friend’s individuality instead of trying to rank them.
10. You hold grudges and bring up past mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, and good friends are forgiving. If you’re constantly bringing up past grievances or holding grudges, it can create a lot of unnecessary drama and negativity in your friendships. Learn to let go of the past and focus on building a positive future together.
11. You’re always trying to change your friends.
Accepting your friends for who they are is a cornerstone of healthy relationships. If you’re always trying to change your friends or mould them into someone they’re not, you’re not being a true friend. Embrace their quirks and differences, and celebrate their individuality.
12. You make everything about you.
Friendships should be a balanced exchange of support and understanding. If you’re constantly turning the conversation back to yourself and your own problems, you’re not being a good listener or a supportive friend. Remember, it’s not always about you.
13. You take advantage of your friends’ generosity.
Taking advantage of your friends’ kindness, whether it’s by constantly borrowing money or expecting them to always foot the bill, is a guaranteed way to damage the relationship. Show your appreciation for their generosity, and be willing to reciprocate when you can.
14. You’re unreliable and don’t follow through on your commitments.
If your friends can’t count on you to keep your word or follow through on your promises, it’s a sign that you’re not a reliable friend. Being dependable is essential for building trust and maintaining strong relationships.
15. You’re emotionally draining and create unnecessary drama.
Friendships should be a source of joy and support, not stress and drama. If you’re constantly creating conflict or stirring up trouble, your friends might start to distance themselves. Strive to be a positive influence in their lives, and avoid unnecessary drama.
