Marriage is a partnership, a give-and-take where both partners ideally feel valued and supported — at least in theory.
Sometimes, one person might unknowingly (or knowingly) step on the other’s toes a bit too often. If you’re feeling like your husband is prioritising himself a bit too much lately, it’s worth paying attention to the signs – and having a serious discussion with him if you relate to too much of the following.
1. He rarely asks about your day or how you’re feeling.
Source: Unsplash When you come home after a long day, does he greet you with a warm hug and genuine interest in how your day went? Or does he launch into a monologue about his own experiences, leaving little room for you to share yours? While it’s natural to want to talk about your own day, a healthy relationship involves a reciprocal exchange of care and concern.
2. He makes most of the decisions without consulting you.
From choosing where to eat dinner to planning weekend activities or making major life decisions, does your husband often take the reins without asking for your input? While it’s fine to have individual preferences, a partnership involves collaboration and compromise. Feeling unheard and left out of the decision-making process can breed resentment and disconnection.
3. He consistently prioritises his hobbies and interests over yours.
Does he spend hours indulging in his hobbies while neglecting your shared interests or activities you enjoy together? A healthy relationship involves a balance of personal and shared pursuits. If he’s always putting his own enjoyment first, without considering your needs or desires, it can create an imbalance in the relationship.
4. He expects you to cater to his needs without reciprocating.
Does he expect you to cook, clean, and take care of household chores without offering much help in return? Or perhaps he expects you to be readily available for him whenever he needs something, but doesn’t extend the same courtesy to you. Mutual respect and support are essential in a partnership, and feeling like you’re constantly giving without receiving can lead to burnout and resentment.
5. He rarely compromises or considers your preferences.
When disagreements arise, does he dig in his heels and refuse to budge, or does he actively listen to your perspective and try to find a middle ground? Compromise is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. If he consistently puts his own needs and desires above yours, it can create a power imbalance and leave you feeling undervalued.
6. He makes you feel guilty for expressing your needs or desires.
When you try to communicate your needs or express your desires, does he make you feel selfish, demanding, or unreasonable? A loving partner should create a safe space for open and honest communication. If he dismisses your feelings or makes you feel guilty for wanting your needs met, it can erode your self-esteem and create a toxic dynamic.
7. He doesn’t take responsibility for his mistakes or apologise sincerely.
When he messes up, does he own up to his mistakes and apologise sincerely, or does he deflect blame, minimise the impact of his actions, or make excuses? Taking responsibility for one’s actions and expressing remorse is essential for healthy communication and conflict resolution. If he consistently avoids accountability, it can erode trust and create a sense of injustice.
8. He makes you feel like you’re not a priority in his life.
Do you often feel like you’re at the bottom of his priority list, behind work, friends, hobbies, or even himself? A healthy relationship involves making each other feel valued and prioritised. If he consistently neglects your needs, dismisses your feelings, or makes you feel like an afterthought, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and resentment.
9. He dismisses your concerns or feelings as unimportant.
When you try to express your worries or anxieties, does he brush them off as insignificant or tell you to “just get over it”? A supportive partner should validate your feelings, even if they don’t fully understand them. Dismissing your emotions can make you feel invalidated and unheard.
10. He doesn’t celebrate your achievements or show genuine pride in your accomplishments.
When you achieve something you’re proud of, does he offer enthusiastic support and celebrate your success? Or does he downplay your achievements, change the subject, or seem indifferent? A loving partner should be your biggest cheerleader, sharing in your joys and celebrating your milestones.
11. He doesn’t make an effort to connect with your friends or family.
Does he actively participate in social gatherings with your friends and family, or does he make excuses to avoid them? Building relationships with the people you care about is an important part of a healthy partnership. If he consistently isolates you from your loved ones, it can create a sense of loneliness and disconnection.
12. He doesn’t make time for quality time with you.
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, does he make an effort to carve out dedicated time for just the two of you to connect? Quality time is essential for nurturing intimacy and maintaining a strong emotional bond. If he consistently prioritises other activities over spending meaningful time with you, it can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment.
13. He doesn’t express gratitude for the things you do for him or the relationship.
Do you feel appreciated for the contributions you make to the relationship? Does he express gratitude for the little things you do, like cooking dinner, running errands, or simply being there for him? Feeling appreciated is a fundamental human need, and a lack of gratitude can erode your self-worth and create resentment.
14. He takes you for granted and assumes you’ll always be there.
Does he act as if your love and support are a given, without making an effort to nurture the relationship or express his appreciation for you? Taking someone for granted can be incredibly hurtful and can damage the emotional connection in a relationship. Everyone deserves to feel valued and cherished.
15. He doesn’t show interest in your personal growth or goals.
Source: Unsplash Does he support your aspirations and encourage you to pursue your dreams? Or does he seem indifferent or even dismissive of your personal growth and goals? A supportive partner should want to see you thrive and reach your full potential. If he doesn’t show interest in your personal development, it can hinder your growth and create a sense of stagnation.
16. He doesn’t prioritise intimacy or physical affection.
Source: Unsplash Intimacy and physical affection are important aspects of a healthy relationship. Does he initiate intimacy and make an effort to connect with you on a physical and emotional level? Or does he seem distant, disinterested, or prioritise his own needs in the bedroom? A lack of intimacy can lead to feelings of rejection and disconnection.
17. He doesn’t listen to your feedback or suggestions for improvement.
Source: Unsplash When you offer constructive feedback or suggest ways to improve the relationship, does he listen openly and take your concerns seriously? Or does he get defensive, dismiss your feedback, or refuse to make any changes? A healthy relationship involves a willingness to listen, learn, and grow together. If he’s unwilling to consider your perspective, it can hinder communication and create a sense of frustration.
18. You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells around him.
Source: Unsplash Do you feel like you have to tiptoe around his moods, avoid certain topics, or constantly cater to his needs in order to avoid conflict or upset? A loving relationship should feel safe and supportive, not like a minefield where you have to carefully navigate his emotions. If you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, it’s a sign that something isn’t right.
