Relationships are complex and tough at times, but they’re incredibly rewarding if you put the work in.
However, no matter how much effort you expend, that doesn’t mean your relationship is built to last. Certain toxic habits and behaviours can creep in and ruin your chances of making it long-term. If you notice any of these things happening in your partnership, things won’t last much longer.
1. There’s a lack of trust.
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without it, even the smallest bumps in the road can turn into major earthquakes. If you or your partner constantly doubt each other’s intentions, question each other’s whereabouts, or feel insecure about the future of the relationship, it’s time to address this fundamental issue. Trust, once broken, can be difficult to rebuild, but it’s essential for a lasting bond.
2. Communication has broken down.
Open and honest communication is the glue that holds relationships together. When communication breaks down, misunderstandings fester, resentment grows, and emotional distance widens. It’s important to create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Remember, communication is a two-way street, so both partners need to be willing to listen actively and empathetically.
3. You’ve stopped having fun together.
Remember those early days when you couldn’t wait to spend time together, laughing, exploring, and simply enjoying each other’s company? If those fun-filled moments have become a distant memory, it might be time to inject some playfulness back into your relationship. Shared laughter and enjoyable activities can reignite the spark and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.
4. Intimacy is a distant memory.
Intimacy encompasses more than just physical connection; it’s about emotional and intellectual closeness as well. If you and your partner have stopped sharing intimate moments, both in and out of the bedroom, it can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection. Make an effort to reconnect on a deeper level, whether it’s through heartfelt conversations, shared hobbies, or simply spending quality time together.
5. Respect is nowhere to be found.
Respect is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It means valuing your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions, even when you disagree. It means treating them with kindness, consideration, and courtesy, both in private and in public. If respect has disappeared in your relationship, it’s important to address this issue before it causes irreparable damage.
6. There’s no shared vision for the future.
Couples who are on different pages about their future goals and aspirations are setting themselves up for conflict and disappointment. It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your hopes, dreams, and plans for the future. If you discover that you have vastly different visions, it might be time to reassess whether the relationship is sustainable in the long run.
7. You’ve stopped appreciating each other.
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to take our partners for granted. We might forget to say “thank you” for the little things they do, or we might stop noticing the qualities that attracted us to them in the first place. Expressing appreciation and gratitude is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. It shows your partner that you value them and their contributions to your life.
8. There’s no longer any effort or commitment.
Relationships require effort and commitment from both partners. If one or both of you have stopped putting in the work, the relationship will inevitably suffer. This could mean anything from neglecting your appearance to avoiding difficult conversations to simply not making time for each other. When you stop investing in your relationship, it’s like letting a plant wither away without water and sunlight.
9. There’s a lack of personal growth.
Relationships should encourage and support personal growth for both partners. If you or your partner have become stagnant, it can lead to feelings of boredom and resentment. Encourage each other to pursue new interests, learn new skills, and challenge yourselves both individually and as a couple. By growing together, you can create a more dynamic and fulfilling relationship.
10. Your core values don’t align.
Shared values are essential for a strong and lasting relationship. If you and your partner have fundamentally different values regarding family, finances, religion, or lifestyle choices, it can lead to conflict and resentment. It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your values early in the relationship and to ensure that you are on the same page about the big picture.
11. You’ve lost your individual identities.
While it’s natural to merge your lives to some extent when you’re in a relationship, it’s important to maintain your individual identities. If you’ve lost sight of who you are outside of the relationship, it can lead to feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction. Make sure you continue to pursue your own interests, hobbies, and friendships, and encourage your partner to do the same.
12. You avoid conflict at all costs.
While no one enjoys conflict, avoiding it altogether can be just as detrimental to a relationship. Suppressing your feelings and concerns can lead to resentment and a build-up of unresolved issues. Learn to communicate your needs and concerns in a healthy and constructive way, and be willing to work through disagreements with your partner. Remember, conflict can be an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding.
13. You don’t make time for each other.
In today’s busy world, it’s easy to let our relationships take a back seat to work, family obligations, and other commitments. But if you and your partner are constantly too busy for each other, the emotional connection will inevitably suffer. Make a conscious effort to schedule regular date nights, weekend getaways, or simply quiet evenings at home together. Quality time is essential for nurturing your relationship and keeping the spark alive.
14. You compare your relationship to other people’s.
Every relationship is unique, and comparing yours to anyone else’s is a recipe for dissatisfaction. Social media often paints a picture of perfection, but the reality is that every couple faces challenges and struggles. Focus on the strengths of your own relationship and appreciate the unique bond you share with your partner. Instead of comparing, celebrate your differences and work together to create a fulfilling and happy life together.
15. You don’t let go of past hurts.
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships, and it’s important to be able to forgive and move on. Holding on to past hurts can poison your present happiness and prevent you from fully connecting with your partner. If you’re struggling to let go of past grievances, consider seeking couples therapy or counselling. A professional can help you work through your emotions and develop healthy communication skills for resolving conflict.
16. There’s a lack of physical affection.
Physical touch is a powerful way to express love, connection, and intimacy. If you and your partner have stopped hugging, kissing, or simply holding hands, it can create a sense of distance and emotional coldness. Make an effort to reintroduce physical affection into your relationship, even if it’s just a simple hug before bed or a kiss goodbye in the morning. These small gestures can go a long way in rekindling the spark and strengthening your bond.
