Life is tough enough on its own, but there are plenty of ways to make it even harder on yourself.
No one wants to be miserable, but many people work against their better interests and end up feeling exactly that way. If you want to avoid some common pitfalls and live a happier life, pay attention to these 17 things you should never do. Avoiding them altogether will lead to a happier life — or at least a less stressful, anxiety-filled one!
1. Constantly compare yourself to other people
Nothing will make you feel more inadequate and unhappy than always measuring yourself against other people. There will always be someone richer, better looking, or more successful. Focus on your own journey and growth. Compete with yourself, not the rest of the world. Life isn’t a race to be won, so stop treating it like one. Be content with progress, even if it feels slow at times.
2. Hold grudges and refuse to forgive
Carrying around anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It only harms you. Learn to forgive, not for their sake, but for your own peace of mind. This doesn’t mean condoning bad behaviour or being a doormat. It means refusing to let other people’s actions control your emotions. Forgive, let go, and move forward. Your mental health will thank you.
3. Neglect your physical health
Your body and mind are interconnected. Abusing your body will take a toll on your emotional wellbeing too. Nourish yourself with whole foods, prioritise sleep, and move your body regularly. You don’t need to become a gym rat — just treat your body with respect. Develop a healthy relationship with food and fitness. Remember, you only get one body in this life. Be kind to it.
4. Surround yourself with negative people
The people you spend time with shape who you become. If you surround yourself with pessimists and Energy vampires, don’t be surprised when you start feeling drained and cynical. Choose your inner circle wisely. Spend time with people who inspire and support you, not those who constantly complain and criticise. Be discerning about the company you keep. It matters more than you realise.
5. Play the victim and blame other people for your problems
Taking responsibility for your life is scary, but also empowering. If you always blame circumstances or other people, you’ll stay stuck. Yes, bad things happen to good people. But how you respond is up to you. Adopt a solutions-focused mindset. Ask yourself, “What’s within my control here?” Then take action, however small. Remember, you are not helpless. You have agency in your own life.
6. Avoid taking risks or trying new things
The surest path to stagnation and regret? Always choosing the safe and familiar over the new and unknown. Embrace discomfort — that’s where growth and excitement happen. Start small and build your risk-taking muscle over time. Try that new hobby. Have that difficult conversation. Apply for that job. The worst that can happen is a temporary failure. But the potential rewards are immeasurable.
7. Bottle up your emotions and refuse to be vulnerable
Source: Unsplash Numbing or suppressing your feelings doesn’t make you strong — it makes you disconnected from yourself and everyone around you. Learn to express your emotions in healthy ways. Talk to trusted friends, journal, make art, let yourself cry. Vulnerability isn’t weakness, it’s courage. It allows you to experience the full spectrum of human emotions — joy and pain, love and heartbreak. Embrace the messy, glorious fullness of your inner world.
8. Obsess over perfection and fear failure
Source: Unsplash Perfectionism is just fear in fancy clothes. It keeps you paralysed and robs you of growth. Realise that failure is not only inevitable, but valuable. It’s proof that you’re pushing yourself and learning. Aim for progress and growth, not flawless execution. Give yourself permission to be a beginner, to make mistakes. In the grand scheme of things, most failures are not life-altering. Failure is just feedback — use it and move on.
9. Live for external validation and approval
Source: Unsplash Constantly shape-shifting to please other people is exhausting and unfulfilling. You’ll never satisfy everyone, so stop twisting yourself into knots trying. Get clear on your core values and live in alignment with them. Be true to yourself, even if it means ruffling some feathers. The most magnetic people are unapologetic in their authenticity. Give yourself permission to be fully, shamelessly you.
10. Sacrifice self-care and alone time
Source: Unsplash In a world that glorifies busyness, slowing down can feel lazy and unproductive. Resist that mindset. Rest is a revolutionary act. Prioritise self-care and solitude, even if it’s just 10 minutes a day. Meditate, read, have a bath, go for a walk without your phone. Learn to befriend stillness and enjoy your own company. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Fill yourself up first.
11. Ignore your intuition and boundaries
Source: Unsplash That little voice inside? It’s there for a reason. Learn to trust your gut instincts. If something feels off, pay attention. Honour your boundaries, even if it disappoints people. Saying no to things that don’t serve you creates space for what matters. You teach people how to treat you. Show them that you’re committed to your own well-being and self-respect. Your needs matter.
12. Stay in toxic relationships out of fear or obligation
Source: Unsplash Not everyone deserves VIP access to your life. If someone consistently drains, disrespects, or diminishes you, find the courage to let them go. This includes family. You’re allowed to outgrow relationships that no longer fit. Surround yourself with people who celebrate and elevate you. Relationships should be mutually nourishing, not one-sided and depleting. Choose wisely.
13. Overthink and worry about things you can’t control
Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want. It changes nothing except your peace of mind. Focus on what’s within your sphere of influence. Take action where you can, and surrender the rest. Cultivate a philosophy of stoicism and radical acceptance. Some things are simply beyond your control. Learn to be at peace with uncertainty. Find freedom in letting go.
14. Neglect your passions and creative pursuits
Source: Unsplash Denying your creative impulses is a recipe for stagnation and emptiness. Carve out time for hobbies and passions, even if they feel frivolous. Creativity is therapeutic and energising. It reminds you that life is about more than survival and productivity. Paint, write, dance, sing, garden — do something regularly that’s just for the pure joy of it. Bonus points if it’s terrible at first. Embrace the beginner’s mindset.
15. Avoid difficult conversations and conflict
Source: Unsplash Dodging discomfort only prolongs problems. Learn to face conflicts head-on, with compassion and directness. Most issues fester when they’re swept under the rug. Lean into difficult conversations — they’re opportunities for growth and intimacy. Be willing to rock the boat in service of honesty and resolution. A moment of discomfort is worth the long-term peace it can bring.
16. Stubbornly cling to narrow-minded views
Source: Unsplash Rigidity is the enemy of growth. Challenge your own assumptions and beliefs regularly. Educate yourself on different perspectives. Travel, read widely, talk to people outside your bubble. Allow your mind to be changed. Embrace the discomfort of unlearning and expanding your worldview. An open mind is a resilient mind. Ignorance and closed-mindedness will only stunt your evolution.
17. Wait for the “perfect time” to make a change
Newsflash: there will never be a perfect time. Life is messy and uncertain — that’s what makes it exciting. So take that leap before you feel ready. Trust that you’ll figure it out as you go. You don’t need to have it all mapped out — just take the first step and let the path unfold. Your future self will thank you for being brave. Remember, growth happens outside your comfort zone. Life rewards the bold.
