There are some things that can kill the spark in your relationship faster than you can say, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
We all want to be good partners, but sometimes we fall into bad habits or behaviours that drive our partners up the wall. If you want to keep the romance alive and avoid the dreaded “we need to talk” conversation, steer clear of these 15 turn-offs in relationships.
1. Being a slob
Look, nobody expects you to have a spotless flat 24/7, but there’s a difference between a bit of clutter and living in a complete pigsty. If your partner is constantly tripping over your dirty laundry or finding mouldy dishes in the sink, it’s not exactly a mood-setter. Make an effort to keep your space relatively tidy, and if you’re cohabiting, be considerate of your partner’s tidiness preferences. A little bit of cleaning goes a long way in keeping the romance alive.
2. Constant negativity
We all have bad days, but if you’re constantly moaning and complaining about every little thing, it can be a real drag for your partner. Nobody wants to be around someone who’s always bringing the mood down with their negative attitude. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your life and your relationship, and if you’re going through a rough patch, communicate with your partner about it instead of just wallowing in your own misery.
3. Jealousy and possessiveness
A little bit of jealousy can be flattering, but if you’re constantly accusing your partner of cheating or trying to control their every move, it’s a massive turn-off. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and if you can’t trust your partner, then what’s the point? Work on your own insecurities and communicate openly with your partner about your feelings, but don’t let your jealousy consume you and ruin your relationship.
4. Lack of ambition
It’s one thing to be content with your life, but if you’re completely lacking in ambition or drive, it can be a real turn-off for your partner. Nobody wants to be with someone who’s just coasting through life with no goals or aspirations. Set some personal and professional goals for yourself, and work towards them with enthusiasm. Your partner will be more attracted to you if they see that you’re passionate about something and actively working to improve yourself.
5. Poor hygiene
This one should be a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how many people let their personal hygiene slide when they’re in a relationship. If you’re not showering regularly, brushing your teeth, or wearing clean clothes, it’s going to be a major turn-off for your partner. Take pride in your appearance and make an effort to stay clean and well-groomed. Your partner will appreciate it, and you’ll feel better about yourself too.
6. Selfishness
Relationships are all about give and take, but if you’re constantly putting your own needs and wants above your partner’s, it’s going to cause problems. Nobody wants to be with someone who’s always thinking about themselves and never considering their partner’s feelings. Make an effort to be more selfless and considerate of your partner’s needs, and show them that you value their happiness as much as your own.
7. Lack of effort
When you first start dating someone, it’s all about the grand gestures and the butterflies in your stomach. But as time goes on, it’s easy to let the romance fade and stop putting in effort. If you’re not making an effort to keep the spark alive, whether it’s through date nights, thoughtful gestures, or just showing your partner that you care, it can be a real turn-off. Make your relationship a priority and show your partner that you’re still invested in making it work.
8. Being a know-it-all
Nobody likes a know-it-all, especially when it comes to relationships. If you’re constantly correcting your partner or acting like you know everything, it can be a real turn-off. It’s okay to have opinions and share your knowledge, but don’t be condescending or dismissive of your partner’s ideas and experiences. Listen to them and value their perspective, even if you don’t always agree.
9. Lack of independence
It’s great to spend quality time with your partner and share your lives together, but if you’re completely dependent on them for everything, it can be a real turn-off. Nobody wants to feel like they’re responsible for their partner’s happiness or like they can’t have a life outside of the relationship. Cultivate your own interests and friendships, and give your partner space to do the same. A little bit of independence can actually strengthen your bond.
10. Being a bad listener
Communication is key in any relationship, but if you’re not actually listening to what your partner is saying, it can be a real problem. If you’re constantly interrupting them, zoning out when they’re talking, or dismissing their feelings, it’s going to be a turn-off. Make an effort to be an active listener and show your partner that you value their thoughts and opinions. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and give them your full attention.
11. Lack of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own feelings, as well as other people’s. If you’re completely clueless when it comes to reading your partner’s moods or responding to their emotional needs, it can be a real turn-off. Work on developing your emotional intelligence by practising empathy, active listening, and effective communication. Show your partner that you’re in tune with their feelings and that you care about their emotional well-being.
12. Being a doormat
While it’s important to be considerate of your partner’s needs, there’s a difference between being accommodating and being a complete pushover. If you’re constantly letting your partner walk all over you or sacrificing your own needs and desires for the sake of the relationship, it can be a real turn-off. Stand up for yourself and set healthy boundaries in your relationship. Your partner will respect you more if you have a backbone and know your own worth.
13. Lack of adventure
Falling into a routine can be comforting, but if you’re never willing to try new things or step outside your comfort zone, it can be a real turn-off for your partner. Nobody wants to be with someone who’s boring or stuck in their ways. Be open to new experiences and adventures, whether it’s trying a new restaurant, taking a spontaneous weekend trip, or just mixing things up in the bedroom. A little bit of novelty can go a long way in keeping the spark alive.
14. Being a flake
If you’re constantly cancelling plans or breaking promises, it can be a real turn-off for your partner. Nobody wants to be with someone who’s unreliable or flaky. If you make a commitment, stick to it, and if you absolutely can’t follow through, communicate with your partner as soon as possible. Show them that you respect their time and that you value your relationship enough to keep your word.
15. Lack of affection
Physical touch and affection are important in any relationship, but if you’re completely averse to showing your partner love and affection, it can be a real turn-off. Nobody wants to feel like they’re in a cold, distant relationship. Make an effort to show your partner physical affection, whether it’s through hugs, kisses, or just holding hands. A little bit of tenderness can go a long way in keeping the romance alive and making your partner feel loved and appreciated.
