Want to know the secret to a happy, lasting relationship?
It’s not grand gestures or expensive gifts – it’s the little things you do every day to show your love and appreciation. And some of the most important moments happen right before you drift off to sleep. Happy couples know that the way you end your day sets the tone for your relationship, and they make sure to prioritise quality time and connection in those precious pre-bedtime hours. Here are 10 things happy couples do before bed that you can start incorporating into your own nightly routine.
1. They put away their phones and devices.
In today’s digital age, it’s all too easy to let screens come between you and your partner. Happy couples know that the bedroom should be a phone-free zone, where you can give each other your full attention without distractions. They make a point to put away their phones, tablets, and laptops at least an hour before bed, and focus on connecting with each other instead. This simple act of presence can make a world of difference in the quality of your relationship.
2. They share a laugh or an inside joke.
Laughter is the best medicine, and it’s also a powerful bonding tool for couples. Happy couples make a point to share a laugh or an inside joke before bed, even if it’s just a silly meme or a funny story from their day. Humour helps to diffuse tension, lighten the mood, and remind you of the joy and playfulness that brought you together in the first place. Plus, laughing together releases feel-good hormones that can help you sleep better and wake up in a better mood.
3. They express gratitude to each other.
It’s easy to take our partners for granted, especially when we’re caught up in the daily grind of work, chores, and responsibilities. But happy couples make a point to express gratitude to each other every night before bed. They might say something specific they appreciate about their partner that day, or simply say “thank you” for the little things that often go unnoticed. Expressing gratitude helps to shift your focus to the positive and remind you of all the reasons you fell in love in the first place.
4. They share physical affection (not just intimacy).
Physical touch is a powerful way to connect with your partner and show your love, but it doesn’t always have to lead to the bedroom. Happy couples make a point to share physical affection before bed, whether it’s a long hug, a massage, or simply holding hands while they talk. This kind of touch releases oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone” that helps to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and promote feelings of bonding and attachment. Plus, it just feels really good to be close to the person you love.
5. They practice good sleep hygiene together.
Getting a good night’s sleep is crucial for both your physical and emotional well-being, and happy couples know that creating a relaxing bedtime routine is key. They might take a warm bath together, do some gentle stretching or yoga, or read a book side by side. They also make sure their bedroom is a comfortable, inviting space with soft lighting, comfortable bedding, and a cool, quiet atmosphere. By prioritising sleep and creating a shared ritual around bedtime, happy couples set themselves up for a more restful, rejuvenating night.
6. They have a “no problem-solving after 9 p.m.” rule.
It’s important to talk about your problems and work through conflicts as a couple, but happy couples know that bedtime is not the best time for heavy conversations. They have a “no problem-solving after 9pm” rule, where they agree to table any serious discussions or disagreements until the next day when they’re both well-rested and clear-headed. Instead, they focus on positive, uplifting topics before bed, or simply enjoy each other’s company in comfortable silence.
7. They dream and plan for the future together.
Happy couples know that a shared vision for the future is key to a strong, lasting relationship. Before bed, they might take a few minutes to dream and plan together, whether it’s for an upcoming holiday, a home renovation project, or a long-term goal like starting a family or retiring early. Talking about your hopes and dreams together helps to create a sense of unity and purpose, and gives you something exciting to look forward to as a couple.
8. They practice active listening and empathy.
Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s not just about talking – it’s also about listening. Happy couples make a point to practice active listening and empathy before bed, really tuning in to what their partner is saying and trying to understand their perspective. They might ask open-ended questions, reflect back what they’ve heard, or simply offer a supportive ear without judgment or advice. By creating a safe, non-judgmental space to share, happy couples build trust and intimacy that lasts long after the lights go out.
9. They prioritise physical intimacy and pleasure.
Of course, physical intimacy an important part of any romantic relationship, and happy couples make sure to make physical intimacy and pleasure a priority in their bedtime routine. They might set aside time for a massage, experiment with new positions or toys, or simply take things slow and enjoy each moment of connection. The key is to approach intimacy with openness, curiosity, and a sense of playfulness, rather than pressure or expectation. By making physical intimacy a regular part of their bedtime routine, happy couples keep the spark alive and deepen their bond with each other.
10. They say “I love you” and mean it.
Finally, happy couples never underestimate the power of those three little words: “I love you.” They make a point to say it every night before bed, and to really mean it. It’s not just a habit or a formality – it’s a heartfelt expression of the love, respect, and commitment they share. By ending each day with a reminder of their love, happy couples create a strong foundation of affection and appreciation that carries them through whatever challenges life may bring.
Incorporating these simple but powerful habits into your nightly routine can make a world of difference in the health and happiness of your relationship.
It’s not about perfection or grand gestures – it’s about the small, consistent actions that show your partner how much you care. So tonight, put away your phone, share a laugh, express your gratitude, and snuggle up close. Your relationship (and your sleep) will thank you for it.
