Some people really can’t handle seeing other people win.
They might smile and congratulate you to your face, but you can tell that deep down, they’re seething with jealousy and resentment. These people are secretly threatened by others’ achievements, and it shows in their behaviour and attitudes. If you’re wondering whether someone in your life falls into this category, here are 16 habits to watch out for.
1. They’re always quick to criticise.
People who are threatened by others’ success are often the first to point out flaws or shortcomings in their achievements. They’ll find something to nitpick, whether it’s the way you went about it or the final result. They can’t just be happy for you and your accomplishments — they have to find a way to bring you down a peg or two. It’s a way of making themselves feel better about their own lack of success.
2. They downplay your achievements.
When you share a success story with someone who’s threatened by it, they’ll often try to minimise its significance. They’ll say things like “Oh, that’s not such a big deal” or “Anyone could have done that.” They can’t bring themselves to fully acknowledge or celebrate your accomplishments because doing so would mean admitting that you’ve done something they haven’t. Instead, they try to make your success seem less impressive than it really is.
3. They’re always comparing themselves to you.
People who are threatened by others’ success are constantly measuring themselves against those they see as competition. They’ll ask about your salary, your job title, your social media following — anything that they can use as a benchmark for their own status. They’re not really interested in celebrating your achievements — they just want to know where they stand in comparison. It’s a way of feeding their own insecurities and sense of inadequacy.
4. They try to one-up you.
Whenever you share a success story, people who are threatened by it will often try to top it with one of their own. If you got a promotion, they’ll claim they were offered an even better one. If you ran a marathon, they’ll say they’re training for an ultra. They can’t just be happy for you and your accomplishments — they have to prove that they’re somehow better or more impressive. It’s a way of reasserting their own ego and sense of superiority.
5. They give backhanded compliments.
People who are threatened by others’ success often disguise their jealousy with backhanded compliments. They’ll say things like “Wow, I’m surprised you were able to pull that off” or “I never thought you had it in you.” On the surface, it might sound like praise, but there’s an underlying message of doubt and disbelief. They’re not really celebrating your achievement — they’re expressing their own shock and disappointment that you’ve surpassed their expectations.
6. They gossip about your success behind your back.
When someone is threatened by your success, they might not confront you about it directly — but that doesn’t mean they’re not talking about it. They’ll often gossip about your achievements behind your back, putting a negative spin on things or speculating about how you got where you are. They might say things like “I heard she only got that job because of her connections” or “He probably cheated his way to that promotion.” It’s a way of undermining your success and making themselves feel better about their own shortcomings.
7. They try to sabotage your efforts.
In extreme cases, people who are threatened by others’ success might even try to actively sabotage their efforts. They might “forget” to pass along important information, fail to show up for crucial meetings, or spread rumours that damage your reputation. They’ll do whatever they can to throw a spanner in the works and keep you from achieving your goals. It’s a way of levelling the playing field and ensuring that you don’t outshine them.
8. They’re always making excuses for their own lack of success.
People who are threatened by others’ success often have a long list of excuses for why they haven’t achieved the same level of accomplishment. They’ll blame external factors like bad luck, unfair treatment, or a lack of resources. They’ll say things like “I could have done that too if I had the same opportunities” or “The game is rigged against people like me.” They can’t take responsibility for their own shortcomings or failures — it’s always someone else’s fault.
9. They’re quick to point out your privileges or advantages.
When someone is threatened by your success, they’ll often try to minimise your achievements by highlighting the privileges or advantages you have. They’ll say things like “Of course you got that job, you went to a posh school” or “It’s easy for you to start a business, you have rich parents.” They can’t accept that your success might be due to your own hard work, talent, or determination — they have to attribute it to some external factor that they don’t have access to.
10. They’re always playing the victim.
Source: Unsplash People who are threatened by others’ success often have a victim mentality. They see themselves as perpetually disadvantaged or oppressed, and they blame their lack of success on the actions of others. They’ll say things like “I could have been successful too if people hadn’t held me back” or “The world is just set up to favour certain types of people.” They can’t take responsibility for their own choices or actions — they’re always the innocent victim of someone else’s malice or neglect.
11. They try to diminish your success by questioning your methods.
Source: Unsplash When someone is threatened by your success, they might try to undermine it by questioning the methods you used to achieve it. They’ll say things like “Sure, you got that promotion, but did you really earn it or did you just schmooze the right people?” or “Yeah, your business is doing well, but are you cutting corners or exploiting your employees?” They can’t just accept that you achieved something through legitimate means — they have to find a way to cast doubt on your integrity or ethics.
12. They’re always trying to change the subject when your success comes up.
Source: Unsplash People who are threatened by others’ success often have a hard time engaging in conversations about it. When someone brings up your achievements, they’ll quickly try to change the subject or steer the conversation in a different direction. They might say things like “Oh, that’s great, but did you hear about what happened to so-and-so?” or “Yeah, congrats, but let’s talk about something else.” They can’t bear to dwell on your success for too long because it makes them feel inadequate or resentful.
13. They have a scarcity mindset.
Source: Unsplash People who are threatened by others’ success often operate from a scarcity mindset. They believe that there’s only so much success or opportunity to go around, and that if someone else achieves something, it takes away from their own chances. They see the world as a zero-sum game, where one person’s gain is another person’s loss. They can’t celebrate others’ victories because they feel like those victories come at their own expense.
14. They’re always trying to compete with you, even in unrelated areas.
Source: Unsplash When someone is threatened by your success, they might try to compete with you in areas that have nothing to do with your actual achievements. If you’re a successful entrepreneur, they might try to one-up you in your fitness routine or your parenting skills. If you’re a talented artist, they might brag about their cooking abilities or their travel experiences. They’re always looking for ways to prove that they’re better than you, even if it’s in a completely unrelated field.
15. They take your success personally.
Source: Unsplash People who are threatened by others’ success often take it as a personal affront. They see your achievements as a reflection on their own shortcomings or failures. They might say things like “I can’t believe you got that promotion over me” or “It’s not fair that you’re doing so well when I’m struggling.” They can’t separate your success from their own sense of self-worth or identity. Your victories feel like a direct threat to their ego and self-esteem.
16. They’re never truly happy for you.
Source: Unsplash Perhaps the most telling sign of someone who’s threatened by others’ success is that they’re never truly happy for you when you achieve something. They might go through the motions of congratulating you or expressing support, but you can tell that their heart isn’t in it. There’s always an undercurrent of resentment, envy, or bitterness in their tone or body language. They might say all the right things, but you can feel that they don’t really mean it.
If you recognise any of these habits in someone you know, it’s important to remember that their behaviour says more about them than it does about you.
People who are threatened by others’ success are often struggling with their own insecurities, fears, and limiting beliefs. They might not even be aware of how their attitudes and actions are coming across. The best thing you can do is to continue pursuing your own goals and dreams with confidence and integrity. Don’t let someone else’s jealousy or resentment hold you back from achieving the success you deserve. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your victories and support your ambitions, and let go of those who can’t handle seeing you shine. Remember, your success is not a threat to anyone else’s — it’s a testament to your own hard work, talent, and determination. Keep going, keep growing, and don’t let anyone dim your light.
