Empathic narcissists are some of the most dangerous people you can encounter.
They have the manipulative skills of a typical narcissist, but with an added twist: they can read your emotions and use them against you. This makes them incredibly effective at worming their way into your life and causing chaos. If you suspect that someone in your life might be an empathic narcissist, watch out for these disturbing traits and learn how to protect yourself.
1. They use your emotions against you.
Empathic narcissists have an uncanny ability to sense what you’re feeling and use it to their advantage. If you’re feeling vulnerable, they’ll swoop in with over-the-top displays of concern and affection. If you’re angry, they’ll provoke you further while playing the victim. They’re masters at pushing your emotional buttons and then sitting back to watch the fallout.
2. They’re always the centre of attention.
Like all narcissists, empathic narcissists crave the spotlight. They’ll do whatever it takes to be the centre of attention, even if it means throwing you under the bus. They’ll interrupt conversations, one-up your stories, and dramatise minor incidents to grab the focus. If you dare to steal their thunder, expect swift retribution.
3. They play the victim.
Empathic narcissists are skilled at painting themselves as the victim in every situation. No matter how badly they’ve behaved, they’ll find a way to twist things around and make it seem like they’re the one who’s been wronged. They’ll use your empathy against you, manipulating you into feeling sorry for them even as they’re stabbing you in the back.
4. They’re master gaslighters.
Gaslighting is a favourite tactic of empathic narcissists. They’ll lie, deny, and rewrite history to make you question your own perceptions. They’ll tell you that you’re being oversensitive or paranoid when you call them out on their behaviour. Over time, this constant mind manipulation can leave you doubting your own sanity.
5. They have no real empathy.
Despite their ability to read emotions, empathic narcissists have no true empathy. They can mimic the appearance of concern or compassion, but it’s all a calculated act designed to serve their own interests. They’re incapable of putting themselves in your shoes or caring about your needs. To them, you’re just a pawn to be used and discarded as they see fit.
6. They’re jealous and competitive.
Empathic narcissists see everyone as a potential rival. They’re fiercely competitive, always striving to one-up people and prove their superiority. If you have something they want — whether it’s a successful career, a happy relationship, or even just a moment in the spotlight — they’ll do whatever it takes to undermine you and claim it for themselves.
7. They have a grandiose sense of self.
Like all narcissists, empathic narcissists have an inflated sense of their own importance. They see themselves as special, entitled, and above the rules that govern mere mortals. They’ll brag about their achievements, name-drop important connections, and generally act like the world revolves around them. Any criticism or challenge to their ego is met with rage or cold disdain.
8. They’re master manipulators.
Empathic narcissists are skilled manipulators who can twist any situation to their advantage. They’ll use charm, guilt, flattery, or intimidation to get what they want, depending on what they think will work best. They’re experts at reading people and exploiting their weaknesses, and they have no qualms about using underhanded tactics to achieve their goals.
9. They’re never wrong.
In the eyes of an empathic narcissist, they can do no wrong. They’ll never admit to making a mistake, even when confronted with overwhelming evidence. Instead, they’ll deflect blame, make excuses, or simply rewrite history to paint themselves in a better light. Trying to hold them accountable is an exercise in futility.
10. They leave a trail of broken relationships.
Empathic narcissists leave a wake of destruction wherever they go. They’ll burn through friendships, romantic partners, and even family members, discarding people as soon as they’ve outlived their usefulness. If you look closely, you’ll notice a pattern of tumultuous relationships and bitter breakups trailing behind them.
How to deal with an empathic narcissist
If you’ve identified an empathic narcissist in your life, the best thing you can do is limit your contact with them as much as possible. They’re unlikely to change, and trying to reason with them will only leave you exhausted and frustrated. Set firm boundaries, refuse to engage in their mind games, and don’t let them manipulate you with guilt or pity. If necessary, cut them out of your life entirely. Your own well-being has to come first, so do what you have to do to protect yourself.
