You don’t have to be a poet to show your partner you care.
Forget the flowery love sonnets and grand gestures. It’s the little everyday things that really demonstrate your love and commitment. Consistently showing up in small ways speaks volumes, even if you struggle to put your feelings into words. If you want to make sure your partner feels loved and appreciated, start weaving these 13 little acts of care into your daily routine.
1. Make their coffee just how you like it.
Your partner’s ideal coffee order may be a complex formula that sounds like an alien language to you. But taking the time to master it and deliver that perfect cup to them in the morning is a small act that shows you care about the details of their life and happiness. Bonus points if you do it unprompted on a morning when they’re stressed or running late. That jolt of caffeine and thoughtfulness will start their day right.
2. Ask questions about their day (and actually listen).
It’s easy to fall into a routine of just grunting “how was your day?” on autopilot without really digesting the answer. Make a point of asking more specific questions about your partner’s daily highs, lows, challenges and victories. Put down your phone, make eye contact, and give them your full attention. Actively engaging with the mundane details of their day shows that their life matters to you, even when nothing earth-shattering is happening.
3. Give them space when they need it.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is give your partner breathing room. If they’re stressed, overwhelmed, or just need some solo time to recharge, don’t take it personally. Proactively encourage them to take space when they need it, whether that means sleeping in on the weekend, spending a few hours pursuing a solo hobby, or taking a brief solo trip. Showing that you respect their need for occasional distance is a way of nurturing your closeness.
4. Stock the fridge with their weird favourite snacks.
Maybe your partner has an inexplicable fondness for a certain flavour of chips that you find revolting. Or they love snacking on something bizarrely healthy like seaweed or pickled beets. Whenever you’re at the grocery store, toss a few of their favourite treats in the cart, even if you personally can’t stand them. Giving shelf space to their quirky snacking habits is a light-hearted way of showing you accept and appreciate all their idiosyncrasies.
5. Brag about them publicly.
Don’t reserve all your praise and affection for private moments. Make a habit of casually bringing up your partner’s accomplishments, talents, and positive qualities in social settings. Humblebrag about their recent promotion to your coworkers, gush about their culinary skills while at dinner with friends, or share that funny thing they said on social media. Publicly expressing your pride and appreciation is a way of showing that you’re their biggest fan.
6. Touch them affectionately without expectations.
Physical touch is a powerful way to bond, but it doesn’t always have to be sexual. Get in the habit of giving your partner brief affectionate touches with no strings attached. Rub their shoulders after a long day, offer a hug when they’re feeling stressed, or snuggle up beside them on the couch while watching TV. Freely giving physical affection without the expectation that it has to lead somewhere shows you care about their emotional comfort, not just getting frisky.
7. Be the first to apologise after a fight.
When you’re in the heat of an argument, both parties often stubbornly dig in their heels, refusing to be the first to cave and say they’re sorry. Unbend your pride and be the first to apologise, even if you feel your partner is more in the wrong. Taking the high road and extending the olive branch shows you prioritise the relationship and its repair over your ego. Your willingness to be vulnerable paves the way for reconciliation.
8. Give them a day off from their least favourite chore.
Stealthily do a chore you know your partner dreads without making a big deal about it. If they hate dealing with bills and budgets, sit down and handle all the annoying paperwork yourself one weekend. If they loathe laundry day, get up early and wash, dry and fold every stitch of clothing before they even roll out of bed. Giving them an unexpected break from their most loathed chore is a caring act of service.
9. Really look at them.
How often do you really take a moment to drink in the sight of your partner? Not just a quick glance, but a slow, appreciative gaze that takes note of all the little details. Linger a few seconds longer than usual when you kiss them goodbye in the morning, really studying their face. Sneak an adoring peek at them when they’re engrossed in a task. Getting lost in looking at them shows you still marvel at their presence.
10. Indulge their guilty pleasure with them.
Maybe your partner has a “shameful” fondness for trashy reality TV shows. Or they have a weakness for cheesy romcoms that you think are formulaic drivel. Instead of teasing them, plop down beside them and revel in their guilty pleasure together sometimes. Showing enthusiastic interest in something they sheepishly enjoy reassures them that you don’t judge them for it. You love even the parts of them that they deem embarrassing or uncool.
11. Send them random “miss you” texts.
Source: Unsplash If you and your partner have busy schedules that keep you apart for much of the day, get in the habit of firing off spontaneous “miss you” texts. Not lengthy love letters, just quick little bursts of affection at random intervals, reminding them they’re on your mind. An out-of-the-blue “Can’t wait to kiss your face later” or “It’s only 2pm, and I already can’t wait to crawl into bed with you” lets them know you crave their company.
12. Actively support their friendships.
Source: Unsplash Don’t get complacent and assume you’re the only important relationship in your partner’s life. Actively encourage and facilitate their platonic friendships, too. Cheer them on when they make plans to grab a beer with an old college buddy. Offer to watch the kids so they can have a girls’ night out with their besties. Expressing enthusiasm for their other close bonds shows you want them to have a robust social life outside of your relationship.
13. Remember the little things.
Source: Unsplash Take mental note of all your partner’s strange little quirks, preferences, and anecdotes — and bring them up in thoughtful ways. If they offhandedly mention that they loved a certain candy as a kid, slip some into their Christmas stocking. If they once told you a funny story about losing their shoes in 3rd grade, ask them to retell it when you’re swapping childhood memories with friends. Holding on to these minor details shows you cherish every part of their humanity.
