When it comes to psychopaths, most people imagine a male serial killer.
However, the reality is that female psychopaths exist too, and they’re more common than you might think. While male and female psychopaths share some core traits like lack of empathy and manipulativeness, there are key differences in how psychopathy manifests across genders. If you want to understand the female psychopath, you need to look beyond the Hollywood stereotypes and examine the unique ways they operate.
1. Female psychopaths use subtle manipulation.
While male psychopaths often use overt intimidation and aggression to control people, female psychopaths tend to be more subtle in their manipulation tactics, the University of Newcastle notes. They’re skilled at reading people and exploiting their weaknesses and insecurities to get what they want. They might play the victim, use guilt trips, or twist words to make people doubt themselves. This covert emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence, but harder to recognise and call out.
2. Female psychopaths are great at mimicking emotions.
One of the defining traits of psychopathy is a lack of genuine emotion, but female psychopaths are often better at faking it than their male counterparts. They’re skilled at mimicking empathy, love, and concern to form relationships and gain trust. They might be the shoulder to cry on or the supportive friend, all while calculating how to use those bonds to their advantage. This emotional mimicry makes it harder for people to spot their true nature until it’s too late.
3. They use their sexuality as a weapon.
While not all female psychopaths are sexually promiscuous, many are skilled at using their sexuality to manipulate and control men, Psychology Today explains. They might play the seductress, using their looks and charm to lure in victims and make them feel special. They’re not afraid to use intimacy as a bargaining chip, whether it’s to get money, power, or simply the thrill of conquest. They view physical intimacy as a means to an end, not an intimate connection.
4. Female psychopaths are often more impulsive.
While male psychopaths tend to be more strategic and calculating in their misbehavior, research suggests that female psychopaths may struggle more with impulsivity. They’re more prone to risky behaviours like substance abuse, reckless driving, and risky intimate encounters. They may have trouble delaying gratification or weighing long-term consequences, which can land them in legal or financial trouble. However, they’re also skilled at talking their way out of those sticky situations with their charm.
5. They use maternal instincts as leverage.
For female psychopaths who have children, motherhood can be a powerful manipulation tool. They may use their children as pawns to control partners, in-laws, or social services. They might play the devoted mother in public, while neglecting or abusing their children behind closed doors. They may also use the threat of taking away custody or access to children to keep their victims in line. Their ability to exploit maternal stereotypes makes them formidable abusers.
6. Female psychopaths prefer psychological violence to physical.
While male psychopaths are more likely to engage in physical violence, female psychopaths tend to favour psychological warfare. They’re experts at gaslighting, silent treatment, and playing mind games to keep their victims off-balance and under their control. They might isolate their partners from friends and family, monitor their communications, or constantly criticise and demean them to erode their self-esteem. This evil emotional abuse can be harder to recognise and escape than physical brutality.
7. They often fly under the radar.
Because female psychopaths defy societal stereotypes about women being nurturing and empathetic, they often go undetected for longer than male psychopaths, per Choosing Therapy. People are more likely to excuse their bad behaviour as moodiness, eccentricity, or a product of trauma or mental illness. They may be high-functioning in their careers and social circles, using their charm and manipulation skills to climb the ladder and avoid suspicion. This can make it harder for victims to be believed or get help.
8. Female psychopaths use false accusations as a weapon.
One particularly insidious tactic used by some female psychopaths is making false accusations of abuse or harassment against their victims. They might claim that a partner or colleague is physically abusive, or level false allegations of sexual misconduct to damage someone’s reputation and get them fired. They exploit society’s increasing awareness of harassment to paint themselves as the real victims. These smear campaigns can be devastating for the falsely accused, and difficult to disprove.
9. They may use self-harm as a form of manipulation.
While not all female psychopaths engage in self-harm, some may use it as a manipulation tactic. They might cut themselves or overdose on pills to get attention, sympathy, or concessions from their partners or families. They know that self-harming behaviour often gets interpreted as a cry for help, not a form of abusive control. This can be especially effective if their victim has a history of mental illness that the psychopath can exploit.
10. Female psychopaths leave different victim pools.
While male psychopaths’ victims are often strangers or acquaintances, female psychopaths tend to target those closest to them, like romantic partners, family members, friends, and coworkers. They may have a string of unstable relationships and broken friendships in their wake. They also tend to victimise other women more than men, leveraging gender stereotypes and female social circles to find and lure prey. This can make their abuse more hidden and insidious than the stranger-danger of male psychopaths.
