We all have those secret pleasures that we’d never admit to in polite company.
They’re those little things that bring us joy, satisfaction, or comfort but that we keep to ourselves for fear of judgment. Well, it’s time to pull back the curtain and shine a light on those hidden delights. Embrace the weirdness, the silliness, the quirks that make you uniquely you.
1. Picking your nose
Go ahead, dig for gold. You’re in your own private sanctuary, so feel free to clear out those nasal passages to your heart’s content. Just keep some tissues handy and make sure to clean up the evidence before your next passenger hops in. It may not be the height of sophistication, but damn if it isn’t satisfying to finally dislodge that pesky bogey that’s been bugging you for the past 20 minutes.
2. Stalking your ex’s social media
Source: Unsplash We’ve all been there — a few drinks in, and suddenly, you find yourself deep in your ex’s Facebook photos from 2013. You know it’s a bad idea, but you just can’t help scrolling through, analysing every post for clues about their current life. Are they dating someone new? Did they get that promotion they always wanted? This masochistic ritual is a guilty pleasure for the ages.
3. Eating snacks in bed
Sure, it’s a recipe for crumbs in your sheets, but is there anything more indulgent than snacking in bed? Whether it’s a pint of ice cream, a bag of chips, or last night’s leftovers, chowing down while propped up on your pillows just hits different. Bonus points if you manage to avoid spilling on your comforter. Just don’t make it a nightly habit, or you’ll soon be sharing your bed with some unwanted six-legged friends.
4. Watching trashy reality TV
Source: Unsplash Yes, you have a degree and enjoy reading literary fiction, but sometimes you just need to turn off your brain and watch strangers get wasted and scream at each other in a hot tub. Reality TV is the ultimate guilty pleasure — it’s drama-packed, mindless entertainment that requires zero intellectual effort to enjoy. Embrace the trashiness and let yourself get lost in the manufactured chaos.
5. Sleeping in your birthday suit
There’s something undeniably freeing about stripping down to your bare essentials before crawling into bed. No restrictive waistbands, no tangled pant legs, just your birthday suit and the cool caress of your sheets. Sure, it can get a bit chilly in the winter, but that’s nothing a few extra blankets can’t fix. Just make sure to have a robe handy in case of unexpected fire alarms or nosy roommates.
6. Pretending to work while actually online shopping
You’re at your desk, looking busy and professional, but little does your boss know you’re actually scouring the web for the perfect pair of shoes to go with that dress you just bought. Online shopping at work is the ultimate secret indulgence — it’s a way to break up the monotony of the day and treat yourself without cutting into your precious free time. Just try to avoid getting too carried away, or you might blow your whole pay cheque before lunch.
7. Singing in the shower at the top of your lungs
Source: Unsplash The acoustics, the privacy, the stream of water drowning out your voice — is there any better place to belt out your favourite tunes than the shower? Whether you’re a secret opera star or a tone-deaf enthusiast, singing in the shower is a joyful release that never fails to boost your mood. So go ahead, channel your inner Beyoncé and serenade those shower tiles like there’s no tomorrow.
8. Imagining fake arguments (and always winning them)
Source: Unsplash We’ve all had those moments where we replay past confrontations in our head, thinking of all the clever comebacks we should have said. But why stop at the past when you can invent entire imaginary arguments and emerge victorious every time? It’s a strangely satisfying way to blow off steam and stroke your own ego without any real-world consequences. Just try to avoid accidentally muttering your sick burns under your breath in public.
9. Picking scabs and peeling sunburns
It’s gross, it’s painful, and it definitely goes against medical advice, but there’s something oddly gratifying about picking at your own bodily imperfections. Maybe it’s the sense of accomplishment that comes with finally removing a stubborn scab, or the strange satisfaction of peeling off a sheet of dead skin post-sunburn. Whatever the reason, this secret pleasure is a guilty one for sure — but hey, we won’t tell if you don’t.
10. Facebook stalking your crushes
In the age of social media, developing a crush on someone often goes hand-in-hand with a deep dive into their online presence. You pore over their photos, analyse their status updates, and try to glean clues about their personality and interests. It’s a secret pleasure that can quickly turn into an obsession if you’re not careful — but in moderation, a little light Facebook stalking never hurt anyone.
11. Popping pimples
There’s a reason why pimple popping videos have millions of views on YouTube — there’s something strangely mesmerising about watching all that pus and gunk come out. Of course, popping your own zits is a bit less glamorous (and a lot more painful), but that doesn’t stop many of us from indulging in this gross-yet-gratifying activity. Just remember to sterilise your hands and tools first to avoid infection.
12. Binge-watching an entire series in one sitting
Who needs sunlight or human interaction when you have 10 seasons of your favourite show to get through? Binge-watching is the ultimate act of media gluttony — you consume episode after episode, hour after hour, until your eyes are bleary, and your bum is numb. It’s not exactly healthy, but there’s no denying the heady rush of flying through a gripping series at record speed.
13. Peeing in the shower
Look, we’re all adults here — can we just admit that peeing in the shower is a thing that most of us do? It’s convenient, it saves water, and it’s not like you’re hurting anyone. Plus, there’s something oddly liberating about just letting it flow while you’re getting clean. Just make sure you’re aiming for the drain and not your own feet.
14. Secretly enjoying bad movies
They’re cheesy, they’re predictable, and they’re often objectively terrible — but there’s just something about bad movies that keeps us coming back for more. Maybe it’s the schadenfreude of watching actors embarrass themselves, or the perverse pleasure of picking apart plot holes and continuity errors. Whatever the reason, secretly enjoying bad films is a guilty pleasure that’s hard to quit. Just don’t admit it to your cinephile friends, or they might disown you.
