We all want to have those solid friendships where we feel supported, uplifted, and loved. But sometimes, the people we surround ourselves with don’t actually bring out the best in us. They might be dragging us down, holding us back, or even causing us harm. So how can you tell if you’re hanging with the wrong crowd? Here are some signs you need to reassess your inner circle.
1. You feel drained after spending time with them.
A good friendship should leave you feeling energised and refreshed, not depleted. If you consistently feel exhausted, stressed, or emotionally drained after hanging out with certain people, it’s a red flag. These people are energy vampires, feeding off your positivity and leaving you feeling empty. They may also be constantly complaining, gossiping, or engaging in other toxic behaviours that drain your energy and leave you feeling emotionally drained.
2. They don’t support your goals and dreams.
True friends are your biggest cheerleaders, supporting your ambitions and celebrating your successes. If the people in your life are constantly putting you down, discouraging you, or belittling your dreams, it’s a sign they’re not on your team. They could be jealous of your potential or simply not want to see you succeed. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and lift you up, not those who try to hold you back.
3. They constantly put you down or criticise you.
Constructive criticism is one thing, but constant put-downs and negativity are another. If your friends or loved ones are always criticising your appearance, your choices, or your lifestyle, it can erode your self-esteem and leave you feeling insecure. True friends offer support and encouragement, even when you make mistakes. They build you up, not tear you down.
4. They gossip behind your back or betray your trust.
Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If you can’t trust your friends or loved ones to have your back, it’s a major red flag. If you find out they’re talking about you behind your back, spreading rumours, or betraying your confidence, it’s a sign they don’t respect you or value your friendship. Surround yourself with people who are trustworthy and loyal, and who will always have your best interests at heart.
5. They’re always taking and never giving.
Relationships should be a two-way street, with a balance of give and take. If you find yourself always being the one to initiate plans, offer support, or lend a helping hand, while the other person just takes and never reciprocates, it’s a sign the relationship is unbalanced. Don’t let yourself be used or taken advantage of. Surround yourself with people who are willing to give as much as they take, and who appreciate your friendship as much as you appreciate theirs.
6. They make you feel bad about yourself.
Healthy relationships should lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. If you consistently feel worse about yourself after spending time with certain people, it’s a sign they’re not good for you. They tend to make you feel inadequate, insecure, or unworthy. They may also engage in toxic behaviours like gaslighting, manipulation, or emotional abuse. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and who support your happiness and well-being.
7. They’re constantly bringing drama into your life.
Life is complicated enough without adding unnecessary drama. If your friends or loved ones are always involved in conflicts, creating chaos, or stirring up trouble, it can be exhausting and stressful. You often ind yourself getting caught up in their drama or feeling obligated to take sides. Choose friends who are drama-free and who bring positivity and peace into your life.
8. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Everyone has different boundaries and needs, and it’s important to have friends who respect them. If someone is constantly pushing your limits, ignoring your requests for space, or making you feel uncomfortable, it’s a sign they don’t respect you or your boundaries. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding, not on one person constantly overstepping the other’s limits.
9. They encourage you to engage in unhealthy or risky behaviours.
Source: Unsplash True friends want what’s best for you, and that includes your safety and well-being. If the people you’re hanging out with are encouraging you to engage in activities that are harmful, illegal, or simply not in your best interest, it’s a major red flag. They may pressure you to drink excessively, try drugs, engage in risky sexual behaviour, or make other choices that could have negative consequences for your health and future. A true friend will support your positive choices and encourage you to make healthy decisions, even if it means saying no to something that seems fun in the moment.
10. You constantly feel the need to impress them or prove yourself.
Source: Unsplash If you find yourself constantly trying to impress your friends or loved ones, it could be a sign that you’re not truly accepted for who you are. You might feel like you have to constantly perform, achieve, or meet their expectations to earn their approval. This can be exhausting and lead to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. True friends love and accept you for who you are, flaws and all. They don’t make you feel like you have to constantly prove yourself or earn their love.
11. They don’t celebrate your successes or accomplishments.
Source: Unsplash When you achieve something great, your friends should be your biggest cheerleaders. They should be excited for you, celebrate your wins, and offer their support and encouragement. If your friends seem indifferent or even jealous of your successes, it’s a sign that they’re not genuinely happy for you. This can be hurtful and discouraging, and it can make you feel like your achievements don’t matter. Surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you succeed and who celebrate your wins alongside you.
12. They make you feel guilty for prioritising your own needs.
Source: Unsplash Everyone needs time for themselves, to pursue their own interests, hobbies, and goals. If your friends make you feel guilty for taking time for yourself or prioritising your own needs, it’s a sign that they’re not respecting your boundaries. Healthy relationships involve a balance of independence and interdependence, and everyone deserves to have their own space and time to recharge. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
13. They bring out the worst in you.
Source: Unsplash We all have a tendency to mirror the behaviour of those around us. If you find yourself acting in ways that you don’t like when you’re with certain people, it’s a sign that they’re bringing out the worst in you. Maybe you become more critical, judgmental, or insecure when you’re around them. Maybe you engage in behaviours you wouldn’t normally engage in, like gossiping, drinking too much, or making risky decisions. If you find that you’re not your best self when you’re with certain people, it might be time to re-evaluate those relationships.
14. They don’t make time for you.
Source: Unsplash Friendship is a two-way street, and it requires effort from both sides. If you’re always the one initiating plans, reaching out, or trying to stay connected, it’s a sign that the relationship could be one-sided. True friends make time for each other, even when life gets busy. If you feel like you’re constantly chasing after someone’s attention or affection, it’s time to move on and find friends who value your time and energy as much as you value theirs.
15. You feel like you have to pretend to be someone you’re not.
Source: Unsplash If you feel like you have to hide your true self, change your opinions, or compromise your values to fit in with a certain group of people, it’s a sign that you’re not with the right crowd. True friends accept you for who you are, quirks and all. They encourage you to be your authentic self and celebrate your individuality. Don’t waste your time trying to fit into a mould that doesn’t suit you. Find your tribe, the people who appreciate you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
