We all feel a bit lonely occasionally, but for some people, it’s a more chronic feeling. They might have friends and family, but still feel disconnected or unseen. It’s tough to watch someone go through that, and even tougher to realise if it might be you. Here are some signs you may be feeling a bit isolated.
1. They’re often on their own.
Enjoying solitude and wanting to be alone are two different things. As a study published in the journal Scientific Reports discovered, a little alone time is healthy for everyone, but if someone is consistently isolating themselves, it can be a sign they’re struggling with loneliness. They regularly turn down invitations, prefer to stay home, and avoid social interactions as a whole. This could be due to feeling like they don’t fit in, feeling anxious around people, or simply not having the energy to socialise.
2. They overshare on social media.
Have you ever seen someone post every little detail of their lives online? While it might seem like they have a lot going on, it can actually be a sign of loneliness. They might be seeking validation, attention, or connection through social media because they lack it in their real-life relationships. It’s like trying to fill an emotional void with likes and comments, but it rarely works in the long run.
3. They have difficulty forming deep connections.
Someone who’s lonely might have a lot of acquaintances, but they struggle to form deep, meaningful friendships or romantic relationships. They feel like they don’t truly belong anywhere, like they’re always on the outside looking in. This can be due to past hurts, social anxiety, or simply not knowing how to connect with people on a deeper level. It’s a vicious cycle because the more they isolate themselves, the harder it becomes to build genuine connections.
4. They settle for unhealthy relationships.
Out of fear of being alone, someone who’s lonely might stay in relationships that aren’t good for them. They might tolerate disrespect, neglect, or even abuse because they think it’s better than being alone. This is a dangerous path, as it can lead to further emotional pain and isolation. It’s important to remember that you deserve to be in relationships that are healthy, supportive, and fulfilling.
5. They need constant approval and validation from outside sources.
Source: Unsplash When you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to crave the approval and validation of your peers. You might fish for compliments, try to please everyone, or go to great lengths to avoid rejection. This constant need for external validation can be exhausting and ultimately unsatisfying, especially because true happiness and self-worth come from within. It’s important to learn to love and accept yourself for who you are, without needing anyone else’s approval.
6. They have a negative self-image.
Source: Unsplash Loneliness can take a toll on your self-esteem. You might start to believe that you’re not good enough, not interesting enough, or not worthy of love and connection. This negative self-talk can become a self-fulfilling prophecy because it makes it even harder to reach out and connect with people. It’s important to challenge these negative thoughts and remind yourself of your own worth and value in life.
7. They express feelings of emptiness or dissatisfaction with life.
Source: Unsplash Loneliness can create a void in someone’s life, leaving them feeling empty, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied. They might feel like something is missing, but they can’t quite put your finger on it. Maybe they attempt to fill that void with work, hobbies, or even unhealthy habits, but nothing seems to truly satisfy. It’s important to recognize these feelings and address the underlying loneliness that’s causing them.
8. They express a longing for connection and belonging.
Source: Unsplash At its core, loneliness is a yearning for connection. Lonely people often express a longing for belonging, for feeling like they’re part of something bigger than themselves. They might talk about wanting to find their tribe, their people, or their community. They might feel like they’re constantly searching for that sense of belonging, but it always seems just out of reach.
9. They have difficulty opening up to people.
Source: Unsplash Building close relationships requires vulnerability and trust. However, lonely people may find it tough to let their guard down and share their true thoughts and feelings. That’s because they typically fear rejection, judgment, or getting hurt. As a result, they keep people at arm’s length, and that makes it all but impossible to form deep connections. This lack of emotional intimacy can perpetuate feelings of isolation and loneliness.
10. They fill their time with distractions.
Source: Unsplash To avoid facing the uncomfortable feelings of loneliness, they might try to keep themselves constantly busy. They might overwork, binge-watch TV shows, scroll endlessly through social media, or engage in other activities that distract them from their inner emptiness. While these distractions might provide temporary relief, they don’t address the root cause of the loneliness and can ultimately make them feel even more disconnected.
11. They struggle with self-worth.
Source: Unsplash Loneliness can really do a number on a person’s sense of self-worth. They might start to believe they’re not good enough, lovable, or deserving of connection. This negative self-perception can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it makes it harder to reach out to people and build relationships. They might avoid social situations, doubt their own abilities, and feel like they have nothing to offer anyone.
12. They have difficulty maintaining long-term friendships.
Source: Unsplash While they might have a wide circle of acquaintances, lonely people often struggle to maintain long-term friendships. They sometimes find it hard to stay in touch, make plans, or just keep the spark alive in general. This could be due to a lack of emotional investment, a fear of intimacy, or simply not knowing how to nurture and sustain relationships. The result is a revolving door of friends and a constant feeling of disconnection.
13. They often feel misunderstood or unseen.
Source: Unsplash Even when surrounded by people, lonely people can feel like nobody truly understands them or sees them for who they are. They might feel like they’re wearing a mask, hiding their true selves from the world. This feeling of being misunderstood can be incredibly isolating and can lead to further withdrawal and disconnection. It’s important for them to find people who truly “get” them and can appreciate their unique perspectives and personalities.
14. They idealize past relationships or friendships.
Source: Unsplash It’s common for lonely people to romanticize past relationships or friendships, focusing on the good times and downplaying the bad. They might reminisce about old friends or past loves, wishing they could go back in time to a simpler, happier era. This nostalgia can prevent them from moving on and building new connections in the present. It’s important to remember that the past is in the past, and focusing on the present can open up new possibilities for connection and happiness.
15. They have difficulty expressing their needs and wants.
Lonely people often struggle to communicate their needs and desires effectively. They might be afraid of being rejected, judged, or considered needy or demanding. So, they bottle up their emotions or try to hint at their needs indirectly, hoping that other people will pick up on their subtle cues. However, this indirect communication style often leads to misunderstandings and frustration. Learning to express their needs openly and directly can be a crucial step towards building stronger relationships and combating loneliness.
