We all love to feel connected, understood, and validated, but it’s important to go about it in the right way.
Some things are better left unsaid, especially since spilling your guts doesn’t automatically make you closer to people – in fact, it often does the exact opposite. Unless you’re really close to the person or the info is pertinent to them, it might be better to keep the following details about your life to yourself.
1. Your entire financial situation
Obviously, it’s great to celebrate a promotion with your friends, but nobody needs a spreadsheet of your income, debts, and investments. Trust me, it’s a recipe for resentment, unsolicited advice, and potentially turning yourself into a target for users and manipulators. Unless you’re going into business with them or marrying them, keep the specifics to yourself and spare everyone the awkwardness.
2. Every single detail of your relationship
Oversharing about your fights, bedroom antics, or insecurities is like throwing your relationship’s sacredness into a wood chipper. It’s disrespectful to your partner, for one thing, and it will inevitably colour the other person’s perspective of your partner, and not necessarily in a good way. Open up to your friends sometimes, sure, but keep the juicy stuff private and leave something to the imagination.
3. Your deepest regrets
Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Dragging them out into the open just to have something to gossip about is like picking at a scab – it only makes it hurt more. Learn from your mistakes, grow as a person, and only share those deeply personal stories with people who have earned your absolute trust.
4. Health issues you’re not ready to discuss
Whether it’s a minor ailment or a major diagnosis, you get to choose when and with whom you share that information. It’s your body, your story, and you’re not obligated to broadcast it to the world until you’re ready. That being said, you also shouldn’t feel like you have to suffer in silence, and sometimes talking about issues or challenges that are often swept under the rug can be a great way to raise awareness. Do what feels right for you, and don’t be pressured by anyone else.
5, Unkind thoughts about mutual friends
Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t give you a free pass to trash-talk behind someone’s back. If you have a legitimate issue with a friend, be an adult and address it directly with them.
6. Your kids’ embarrassing moments
Sure, those stories might seem hilarious now, but trust me, your kids will mortify you for it later. Embarrassing them in front of others is a jerk move. Save those stories for your private diary, or better yet, let them fade into oblivion.
7. Your “number”
Seriously, who cares? Having a long list of people you’ve slept with is not a badge of honour or a measure of your worth as a human being. This isn’t a competition, and frankly, it’s a bit pathetic to brag about. Keep it to yourself and focus on building meaningful connections instead.
8. Specifics of your will or estate plan
Of course, this is likely not a topic of conversation for a lot of people because how many of us really have an “estate” to pass on, anyway? However, if you are a bit posh, this is a good practice. You don’t want to give the vultures any ideas, do you? Your will is a private document intended for your loved ones to know about after you’re gone, not a juicy tidbit for cocktail party chatter. Keep it under lock and key.
9. Passwords or PINs
This is a bit of a no-brainer, but it still warrants a reminder. You wouldn’t hand over your house keys to a complete stranger, would you? So why would you divulge the keys to your digital life? Keep your passwords private and change them regularly.
10. Detailed family drama
Airing your dirty family laundry in public isn’t very classy, and it tends to make things worse, to boot. Instead of gossiping with your friends or trash-talking your layabout brother or nosy mother-in-law, talk to a therapist or confide in a trusted few who can offer you genuine support and guidance.
11. Your next big move (before it’s concrete)
Don’t jinx it! Whether it’s a career change, a move to a new city, or a major life decision, keep those plans close to your chest until they’re actually happening. There’s no need to tempt fate or invite unwanted opinions.
12. Things people have told you in confidence
If someone trusts you enough to share a secret, the least you can do is honour that trust. Breaking confidences is a sure-fire way to ruin relationships and establish yourself as someone who can’t be relied upon. Keep your lips sealed.
13. The nitty-gritty of your personal data
Whether it’s calories, steps, or the number of people you’ve ghosted, nobody cares about your personal stats. Focus on your own goals and progress, not on broadcasting your achievements (or failures) to the world.
14. Your voting choices
I’m admittedly a bit torn about this because this country is in an absolute mess and the political and personal are interchangeable at this point. However, in mixed company, this is something that’s probably better staying between you and the ballot box. Sharing your political stances can lead to unnecessary arguments, judgment, and even ostracization. Unless you’re in a safe space with like-minded people, keep your voting preferences to yourself.
15. How much you hate your job
We all have bad days at work, but constantly complaining about your job is not only tiresome for other people, it’s also counterproductive. Instead of venting, try to look for ways out. Look for a new job, talk to your boss about your concerns, or find ways to make your current situation more tolerable. Otherwise, you just look like a whinger.
16. Insecurities you’re working through
We all have things we don’t love about ourselves and our lives, but announcing your vulnerabilities to the world constantly is like painting a giant target on your forehead. Work through your insecurities privately and with trusted friends or a therapist, and remember that you’re not alone in this.
17. Anything you wouldn’t want blasted on a billboard
This is the golden rule. If the thought of something becoming public knowledge makes you cringe, then keep it to yourself. It’s that simple.
