Some people can’t help themselves—they treat every conversation like a competition.
They also treat every opinion as fact, and every moment as a stage to prove how much smarter they are than everyone else. You know the type: the know-it-all who corrects you mid-sentence, dominates the room, and somehow manages to be smug even when they’re wrong. While staying calm is usually the high road, sometimes you just need a clean, cutting comeback to bring them back down to earth. In that case, keep these retorts in your back pocket for when you need them.
1. “Fascinating how you always manage to be the main character in every topic.”
They could be talking about anything—history, parenting, Wi-Fi routers, and somehow, they still make it about themselves. This line calls out their compulsive need to steer every conversation into a monologue about their own brilliance, disguised as a compliment. It doesn’t raise your voice—it raises eyebrows, which is sometimes even better.
2. “Wow, I didn’t realise we were doing a pop quiz today.”
Perfect for when they start throwing unsolicited facts into the air like they’re trying to earn extra credit. This comeback breaks the rhythm of their lecture without getting confrontational. It says, “We’re not in a classroom, and you’re not the teacher,” all while keeping your tone cool and casually unimpressed.
3. “You must be exhausted carrying all that expertise around.”
This one’s subtle and sarcastic, with just the right amount of bite. You’re not challenging their ego directly—you’re admiring the burden of it. It lands especially well when they’ve been on a roll for a bit too long, claiming authority on everything from global politics to how you should be making your coffee.
4. “You ever get bored of hearing yourself talk, or is it still thrilling?”
When someone turns every conversation into a solo act, this line brings the curtain down. It works because it doesn’t attack them; it just plants the idea that their endless commentary might be more for their own entertainment than anyone else’s benefit. Bonus points if you deliver it with a calm, curious expression.
5. “I’ll be sure to run that by someone who actually works in the field.”
It’s sharp, but not loud. You’re not arguing, you’re just letting them know their unsolicited advice doesn’t carry the weight they think it does. It’s especially good when they’re giving strong opinions on topics they clearly read one Reddit thread about and decided they were qualified.
6. “Ah yes, another strong opinion from someone who just Googled it.”
This comeback is ideal when they’re acting like a subject matter expert with little more than a surface-level understanding. It lightly mocks their overconfidence without dragging them too hard, and reminds everyone else that loud doesn’t always equal informed.
7. “Have you ever tried listening, or is that still on your to-do list?”
When they bulldoze conversations and steamroll over every other person’s input, this line is perfect. It’s snappy but not over-the-top, and it flips the script without raising the emotional temperature in the room. It works because it points to a real issue—one they probably won’t admit, but other people will subtly agree with.
8. “Just curious—do you interrupt everyone, or am I special?”
This one slides in casually but hits hard. It’s the kind of line that disarms their usual rhythm because it turns their habit of interruption into something laughably intentional. It’s also a polite way of reclaiming your voice mid-sentence without having to match their energy or volume.
9. “It’s amazing how confident you are, considering how often you’re wrong.”
This is for the know-it-all who speaks with conviction, even when they’re completely off. The tone should be delivered lightly—not as a scream, but as a surgical slice. You’re not telling them off. You’re just making it crystal clear that their certainty doesn’t match their track record.
10. “Is there a version of this story where someone else gets to speak?”
This is for the ones who dominate every group conversation like it’s their personal TED Talk. This line draws attention to their conversational monopoly without name-calling. It’s just cheeky enough to land without completely derailing the moment, but firm enough to let them know it’s not going unnoticed.
11. “You explain things with the energy of a YouTube ad that can’t be skipped.”
Harsh? Maybe. Accurate? Absolutely. This one works best when they launch into another smug, overlong explanation that no one asked for. It lets them know you’ve had enough without needing to yell or get personal—it just undercuts their delivery with humour and a touch of burn.
12. “I didn’t realise being loud was the same as being right.”
This is a go-to when they dominate a room with volume instead of insight. It exposes their tactics without directly insulting them. The message is clear: your tone doesn’t make you correct, and your confidence doesn’t equal competence. They can raise their voice as much as they’d like, but that doesn’t make anyone more likely to listen.
13. “You’re right—again. What an incredible streak you’re on.”
This one is pure sarcasm, and that’s what makes it so good. You’re not arguing their point—you’re just gently poking a hole in their need to always be right. It works because it’s not aggressive. It just quietly lets everyone else in the room breathe a little easier.
14. “Let me guess—you read one article, and now you’re an expert?”
Use this when they dive deep into a topic you know they just recently discovered and are now reciting with way too much confidence. It calls out the bluff in a way that feels casual, even humorous, but still takes the wind out of their overinflated sail.
15. “I’d love to hear more, but I’m saving my brain cells for something useful.”
This one isn’t for every setting, but when it fits, it fits. It’s for those moments when the arrogance has gone too far, and you’re ready to shut it down completely. It sounds playful, but it’s clear: you’re done listening, and you’re not pretending to be impressed anymore.
16. “Remind me—are you this insufferable by choice, or is it instinct?”
Save this for the repeat offender who’s been grinding everyone down for years. It’s bold, unapologetic, and absolutely final. There’s no coming back from this one without a little self-reflection—though, let’s be honest, they probably won’t go there. Still, you will have said what other people were only thinking.
