For people of faith, living in a way that seems righteous and holy should be the goal.
However, given that it’s impossible to talk to God, followers have interpreted religious texts (which were also written by man) in their own ways, meaning some of their approaches aren’t particularly God-like. Some choices get praised as virtuous, but if you really think about it, these ones probably don’t reflect the kind of love or compassion a truly loving God would stand behind.
1. Cutting people off in the name of ‘protecting your spirit’
It sounds noble, but sometimes this becomes an excuse to avoid hard conversations or shut out people who don’t fit a certain mould. Spiritual growth shouldn’t require ghosting or judgement. A loving God would likely care more about how you treat people than how tidy your boundaries look. Growth can involve compassion and grace, not just walls dressed up as wisdom.
2. Obsessing over purity while ignoring kindness
Staying “pure” often gets treated like the ultimate goal, especially when it comes to sexuality or lifestyle choices. That being said, if it turns you into someone rigid, cold, or self-righteous, what’s the point? It’s easy to focus on external behaviour while completely forgetting how to be gentle, forgiving, or open-hearted. A loving God probably isn’t impressed by clean records that come with hard hearts.
3. Using religion as a reason to stay silent in the face of injustice
Some people avoid conflict under the banner of “staying peaceful” or “trusting God,” but silence can become complicity real fast. Faith shouldn’t be an excuse to sit out when things are wrong. God doesn’t need passive followers who never speak up. If your choices prioritise comfort over courage, it might not be the righteous path you think it is.
4. Treating suffering like a spiritual badge of honour
Enduring pain isn’t automatically noble. Choosing to stay in harmful situations just to prove your faith doesn’t make you more righteous—it just leaves you hurting when you could be healing. There’s nothing wrong with leaving what’s breaking you. A loving God wouldn’t want you to glorify pain or wear trauma like a crown. You don’t need to earn love through suffering.
5. Believing that being right matters more than being kind
It’s tempting to cling to the rules or teachings you believe in and correct everyone who sees things differently. Of course, if your version of “truth” leaves no room for empathy, it’s missing the mark. A God of love probably values connection over debate. Being kind isn’t a compromise—it’s the deeper point of it all. If your righteousness leaves people feeling small, it’s not love in action.
6. Shaming yourself into ‘obedience’
Some teachings twist the idea of devotion into endless guilt. However, following a loving God shouldn’t feel like living under a microscope. If your faith constantly makes you feel unworthy, that’s not healthy. Obedience out of fear or self-loathing doesn’t honour anything sacred. Real faith isn’t about hating yourself into being good—it’s about growing from love, not shame.
7. Judging people’s worth based on their lifestyle
It’s one thing to hold personal values. It’s another to decide who’s good or bad based on their job, relationships, appearance, or how they spend their Sunday mornings. A loving God isn’t ticking boxes on a spreadsheet. Chances are, the people you’re tempted to look down on are being held with just as much care—maybe more than you know.
8. Following the rules without questioning where they came from
Blindly following religious systems just because they’re tradition doesn’t always mean you’re doing the right thing. If the rules hurt people or ignore nuance, they might need a second look. Faith isn’t about robotic obedience. It’s about awareness, intention, and heart. A loving God likely wants you to think, question, and lead with compassion, not just obey without thought.
9. Telling people their suffering is part of God’s plan
Trying to comfort someone by spiritualising their pain often backfires. It might feel like the “right” thing to say, but it can come across as dismissive or even cruel. People don’t need a divine reason for their heartbreak. They need support, presence, and love. A loving God wouldn’t want you to minimise suffering just to sound faithful.
10. Putting loyalty to your faith community above your integrity
It’s hard to speak out against something your church or group supports, even when it doesn’t sit right. But staying silent to preserve your standing isn’t righteous—it’s just self-protective. If your conscience is telling you something’s off, a loving God would want you to listen. Integrity should never take a back seat to belonging.
11. Equating modesty with morality
The idea that how you dress defines your worth still lingers in a lot of spiritual spaces. However, the truth is that modesty has nothing to do with being a good or valuable person. God’s love doesn’t shrink when someone shows skin or expresses themselves through fashion. If your standards cause shame or division, it might be time to let them go.
12. Treating doubt like a spiritual weakness
Questioning things, having doubts, or wrestling with your beliefs is often seen as failing. Of course, curiosity and struggle are part of faith, not the opposite of it. A loving God wouldn’t punish you for thinking deeply or feeling uncertain. Doubt often leads to the most genuine, honest kind of belief—one that isn’t based on fear or pressure.
13. Assuming love only counts if it’s “correct”
People sometimes reject love that doesn’t fit their doctrine—whether that’s LGBTQ+ relationships, non-traditional families, or deep connections outside the faith. But love isn’t wrong just because it’s unfamiliar. If it’s real, respectful, and rooted in care, it’s worth honouring. A loving God would see the heart of it—not just the label attached to it.
