Look, this one’s meant to be fun–most men don’t actually want to police anyone’s spending, especially not their partner’s.
However, if you ask them what purchases leave them totally confused, slightly horrified, or just quietly raising an eyebrow at the receipt… they’ve got opinions. Some of it’s about practicality, some of it’s about price, and some of it’s just pure bafflement. Here are some things that men secretly (or not-so-secretly) wish women would stop throwing money at, purely because they genuinely don’t get it.
1. Designer water bottles
To a lot of men, a bottle is a bottle. So when they see a £40 pastel insulated flask that’s “aesthetically pleasing” and “matches your yoga mat,” they’re quietly stunned. It holds water. That’s all it does. Why does it need to look like it belongs in an art gallery? They’re not trying to ruin your hydration vibe, they just don’t understand why water needs a fashion statement. The £4 reusable bottle from the supermarket works just as well, and if it leaks? Well, now it has personality.
2. Expensive candles
Candles are relaxing, sure, but once the price tag creeps over £30, men start questioning reality. Especially when the scent is something like “winter nostalgia” or “emotional clarity.” What does that even smell like? To them, it’s just wax in a jar. And the idea that it gets lit for 15 minutes before someone says, “Wait, let’s save it for guests” makes even less sense. It’s a fire hazard with a bougie label—mystifying.
3. Trendy skincare that rotates monthly
Source: Unsplash Every time a man thinks he’s finally memorised what’s in the bathroom cabinet, a new bottle appears with instructions like “tap gently with the pads of your fingers in a clockwise motion at dusk.” It’s exhausting. He’s not saying skincare isn’t important. He just doesn’t know why the routine changes every three weeks and why one bottle costs as much as his annual gym membership. To him, soap is still a one-size-fits-all concept.
4. Overdecorated planners
Source: Unsplash There’s something very sweet about a beautifully decorated planner—stickers, washi tape, colour-coded tabs. However, to a lot of men, it looks like a crafting session disguised as productivity. And they’re not entirely sure what you’re actually planning that requires glitter pens. They’re not anti-organisation. It’s just a little hard to understand why scheduling laundry needs to look like a scrapbook page from a motivational Pinterest board. The Google Calendar works fine, apparently.
5. Fancy hair tools that all look the same
To him, it’s a brush. Maybe a curler. Maybe a straightener. Maybe a spaceship. Hard to tell. The thing is, it’s got 17 buttons, a rechargeable base, and costs more than his TV. And every few months? A new one joins the line-up. He genuinely respects the art of a good hair day. He just doesn’t understand why achieving it involves technology that looks like it could launch a drone. Also, they all make the same buzzing noise. Very suspicious.
6. Subscriptions for things that already exist at home
From monthly boxes of tea to subscription services for socks, he’s puzzled by the idea of paying for surprise versions of stuff you could just grab at the shop. There’s excitement, sure—but it’s tea. We own tea. It’s the randomness of it that throws him off. You don’t know what you’re getting, but it’s definitely coming, and it costs £19.99 a month. It’s the financial equivalent of a lucky dip with nice packaging.
7. Matching outfits for pets
He loves the dog, he really does. However, dressing the dog in a jumper that matches your own is something he can’t wrap his head around. The pet doesn’t care. It probably hates it, in fact, but somehow it has a wardrobe now. He’s hot anti-pet. He just doesn’t understand how a creature that licks its own feet needs a seasonal fashion rotation. Especially one that includes a Christmas onesie. In November.
8. Nail art that involves miniature portraits
Getting your nails done? Totally fine. Spending hours (and a hefty sum) on tiny portraits of your cat on each fingernail? That’s where he gets lost. It’s not that he’s judging—it’s just that he’s deeply confused. He’s impressed, honestly. It’s just… who sees it? Who’s the audience? Is this like wearable fine art or just an expensive way to remember that you liked frogs this week? The logic doesn’t land, even if the nail design slaps.
9. “Statement” home items that do nothing
A gold banana. A ceramic hand. A velvet cushion shaped like a shrimp. These are the sorts of purchases that make him pause mid-scroll and go, “Why?” They’re not functional, they’re not comfortable, but they’re “vibes.” He’ll never argue with a couch or a decent lamp. But the moment something decorative doesn’t double as useful, he starts sweating. Especially if it cost more than a weekly shop and has its own mood lighting.
10. Self-help books that say the same thing in 200 ways
He’s all for growth. He just doesn’t know how many versions of “set boundaries” one person needs. After the fifth book titled something like “Your Inner Power Vortex,” he starts to wonder if we’re all being scammed. It’s not that he thinks self-reflection is bad. He just wants to know if the £18 paperback actually helps—or just adds to a growing pile of things that make you feel guilty for not waking up at 5am.
11. Outfits with no sitting-friendly structure
Some clothes just aren’t made for movement. Or warmth. Or breathing. And he doesn’t understand why anyone would spend money on a top that makes you feel like you’re vacuum-sealed into it. His entire wardrobe revolves around comfort. So the idea of buying something just for the photo—and suffering through dinner in it—is something he finds absolutely wild. Functional fashion remains his hill to die on.
12. Fancy ice cube trays
Heart-shaped cubes. Skull-shaped cubes. Cubes that are actually orbs. He’s not mad about them, he just doesn’t understand the obsession. Water freezes. That’s the whole job. Why complicate it? When the freezer looks like a novelty shop and every drink has a theme, he’s silently baffled. It’s not even about the effort—it’s about how deeply invested some people get in frozen water with personality.
13. Anything sold as “manifestation” gear
Crystal pens, affirmation boards, “money-attracting” mist—this is peak confusion territory. He’s not mocking your beliefs, he just truly doesn’t get how a £14 sticker that says “abundance” is going to change your bank account. He’ll nod supportively while you light a cinnamon stick and whisper goals into the universe. But he’s secretly wondering if this is just a glittery way to avoid spreadsheets and budgeting apps.
14. Storage containers for storage containers
Source: Unsplash The storage container thing already makes him nervous. The way one trip to IKEA turns into an entire plastic drawer ecosystem in your closet. However, when you start organising the containers themselves? That’s his limit. He’s happy to be tidy. He just didn’t realise your house needed a container to hold other containers inside an even bigger container. At that point, it starts feeling like some kind of domestic Russian nesting doll situation.
